


Strike it lucky ("Sequel to Strike a Pose")

by CuckooTrooke



Series: Strike a Pose [2]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Cute, Eating Disorders, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Humor, Intimacy, Love, M/M, Modeling, Nude Modeling, Oral Sex, Photo Shoots, Photography, Sexual Humor, True Love, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Night, fashion industry, mentions of eating disorders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 19:14:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 55,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2479409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuckooTrooke/pseuds/CuckooTrooke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam Lambert is 24-year-old music artist who finally gets to do what the loves the most; music.<br/>He has recovered from his past and his new disposition is blooming. But something has left a huge hole into his heart. </p>
<p>Sauli Koskinen is 27-year-old and his name is known all over the world due to his hard work in Fashion industry. He's energetic and such a light person but his heart is screaming after someone he misses so bad. </p>
<p>Maybe it's luck that they meet again. Maybe it's destiny. Fate. But they both know for sure that they can't live without their other halves. They're bound to each other. They won't let go no more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>----------ON A BREAK THROUGH JULY AND AT LEAST HALF WAY TO AUGUST---------</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stay

**Author's Note:**

> So sequel to Strike a Pose.  
> Yes. This soon. I love writing this because I can bleed so much into this.  
> I've planned this sequel for a long time now and I hope it'll be something you'd wish for. Maybe not as great as Strike a Pose seemed to be but I try my best.  
> Happy story coming.

**After a year…**

Sauli stumbled through the crowd of people and returned to his friends. 

He was laughing. How can the place be so crowded tonight? It was such a trick to find his friends after he had enjoyed a drink at the bar. Luckily they were leaving. 

"So freaking many people here" He said when he got to his friends. He was putting on his jacket. 

"Oh yeah? Like what the actual fuck is happening?" One of his friends asked loudly to get her voice heard through the thudding music. 

Sauli noticed all of them went a little white after a few seconds of that question. 

"I think the reason isn't that far away at all" 

Sauli frowned. And soon felt a tap on his shoulder. It made him turn around. 

It was dim in the club and he couldn't see that clearly but he definitely saw a gorgeous tall guy looking down at him. 

Maybe he's a bit tipsy. Why does he look so familiar it almost sickens him? The figure in itself was so familiar. 

Wait a minute... 

He was tall, black haired and regular sized. His smile was beautiful. 

"A-... Adam?" Sauli wondered out loud, "Is that..."

The guy's eyes went wide too. He took a couple of unsteady steps backwards, ready to run for his life from the past that was staring right at him. 

"Hey, no" Sauli said right away, grabbing his wrist firmly, "Don't go" He whispered. 

Sauli pulled him through the crowd and straight outside from the club. It was already dark outside but the street lights gave enough light so see more properly. 

He couldn’t believe who he was looking at. 

"It's really you..." Sauli whispered, "You're still... You're still so gorgeous..."

"Shut up!" Adam cried, "You have no fucking right to start throwing in compliments"

It pained Sauli to hear Adam be so mad. And so hurt it was clear on his face.

Adam brought his hands up and started gripping on his own hair. He did that when he was younger too. Some things don't change during the years.

"Stop" Sauli softly said, grabbing both of Adam's hands and pushed them down, "Don't do it"

Adam squirmed off his grip but stopped the torture of his own hair. 

"I'm sorry" Sauli said after a few moments of silence, "I'm so, so sorry you have no idea"

"You think it's enough?" Adam asked, frowning and shaking his head in disbelief. 

"No" Sauli said right away. He was out of words. The love of his life was standing right there in front of him. Hurt and betrayed by him and he can't find a one single word that'd soothe him. 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. 

Adam looked at him his eyebrow cocked. 

"I uhm... I kept it..." He muttered, his hand shaking when he reached it out for Adam to take. 

Adam gave him a look but took the paper anyway. The brief contact with Sauli’s bare hand felt like an electric jolt. He managed to unfold the paper.

_"Boo! My phone broke and the storm cut the internet connection. I just wanted to say I love you and I can't wait to be your hubby <3 xoxo, Adam" _

"I sent this right after you went to Finland... Right before I was rushed to the hospital... Why did you keep it?" Adam asked, his voice soft. 

"Because who else would ever sent letters to me during 21st century than you?" Sauli smiled, "I just wanted to keep it... "

Adam gave the paper back to Sauli who put it into his pocket again. 

Adam put his hands into the pockets of his jacket and looked at Sauli. 

"Why didn't you come when I called from the hospital?" 

Sauli felt physical pain after the question. 

"I..."

"I was wailing after you. I wanted somebody to hold my hand and tell me everything will be alright. I was so scared..." Adam talked quietly, "I even asked my nurse to call you and guess what she said when she came back? She said you hung up on her" 

Sauli squeezed his eyes shut and wanted to block his ears from the truth that was beating his insides. 

"I needed you, Sauli... And you weren't there..." Adam whispered, blinking and one single tear rolled down his face, “You were _always_ there for me but not then… Not when I most needed you to be…”

"Forgive me..." Sauli sobbed, grabbing Adam by the arm, "Please forgive me. I wanted to come… When I heard you’ve been in the accident my heart jumped out of my chest and I threw up because I was so worried about you…"

Adam wanted to push him away. Wanted to tell him it was too late to apologize but he couldn't. 

He has rarely seen Sauli cry. If ever, to be honest. 

"If you dare... Come a little closer" Sauli whispered.

Sauli had no fucking right to talk to him like that. He tried to seduce him like he hasn’t done anything wrong. 

Carefully, little unsurely, Adam grabbed Sauli by the arm too and pulled him closer. 

Sauli stumbled on a few steps. He ended up being against the warmth of Adam's body. 

He smelled divine. Familiar and soothing.

"Hug me now before I change my mind, you son of a bitch" Adam hissed. 

He didn't need to ask for twice. Sauli's arms went around his shoulders in a brief second. 

It took a few seconds more from Adam to wrap his arms around Sauli’s thin waist. He pulled him so close he thought Sauli would choke. 

Adam inhaled his scent. His nose was pressed somewhere against Sauli’s neck. He smelled like the club and his cologne. 

"Don't you dare to go anywhere now... You want to talk somewhere in peace?" Adam noticed himself ask. It came almost automatically without much thinking. 

Sauli jumped in Adam's arms properly, his legs going around his slim hips. Sauli couldn’t actually care less that everybody was starting at him and he was freaking crying in front of them all. 

Paparazzi hiding in the bushes wouldn’t be that much of a wonder, really. Considering Adam’s gotten so famous and he isn’t that unknown himself either. 

"Please. If you only take me…” 

“Don’t you utter a word before we’re there or I might change my mind because I don’t know what the fuck am I doing”

♥♥♥ 

Adam took Sauli into his hotel room. He had a firm grip around his wrist like he was keeping him from running away.

Not like Sauli would do that anyway. It was more likely the other way around. 

Sauli kicked off his shoes and got rid of his jacket while Adam did exactly the same. 

Sauli sat on the bed without any special permission or suggestion and watched as Adam went to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water. He didn't have to warn Sauli from the upcoming throw, Sauli knew he'd do it so he just caught the bottle. 

"Thanks" 

Adam opened his own bottle of water and took a long gulp from it, then rubbed his throat a bit, grimacing. 

"I've caught a cold. Hope you're not afraid to get a bug from me" Adam said and sat on the bed next to Sauli. He sat his legs crisscrossed. 

"It's not like I haven't gotten any flu bugs from you before" Sauli said, wanting to smile even a little but Adam wasn't on a smiley mood right now. 

Apparently. But it was totally understandable. 

Adam waited for him to say something. To talk. To apologize for the tenth time or anything. They've never been so awkward and quiet when they’ve been together. 

"You're still wearing it" Adam said quietly then, looking at Sauli's ring finger. 

Sauli sort of spread his fingers to present it. That he was really still wearing it.

"I am. You're not though" 

"Did you really expect me to wear it?" Adam asked right away, "Last time I saw you, you proposed me. It's been three fucking years. I wore the ringer in the hospital. I thought it was the proof that you'd come to me because hey, we were engaged... You never did. You knew I survived. But you didn't even call me then... Who the hell do you think you are?"

Sauli closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. They need to go through this like adults would do. He's freaking 27. Adam's 24. 

"If I was in the hospital dying... Do you think it would be easy for you to just come and see me die?" 

"Of course not!" Adam yelled, standing up from the bed, "But I wouldn't be so selfish if I knew that you need me!"

"I know you are mad" Sauli reassured in that soothing voice of his, "You have all the rights to be but please... Forgive me my dumbness. I was an idiot, I was stupid, I was so blindly in love I couldn't see through my own feelings... I know that was selfish, I admit. Please forgive me, I'll do anything... I just _can’t_ lose you another time"

Adam sat back on the bed. He rested his elbows against his knees and face against his palms. 

“It’s not like I am even yours to lose anymore… You don’t own me”

That hurt. 

“I know that. But you know what I meant” Sauli said, “I tried to call you. Tons of times but I was afraid that you’d be so mad you’d want to break up. I couldn’t bear those words from you…” 

“So a better opinion was to leave us both hanging and eventually forget that there ever was an ‘ _us_ ’? You could have called me. I would have forgiven you. But now? After three years? I don’t know, Sauli… Not anymore” 

Sauli frowned sadly. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say…”

"And I wish it was enough..."

Sauli crawled closer to Adam. 

"Just because they forgive in movies doesn't mean it couldn't happen in real life. It's about your own feelings..."

"I don't know what I feel" Adam said, his voice mostly muted by his hands, "My feelings are a big mess right now" He finished, dropping his hands down.

"Adam..." Sauli started out gently, placing his fingers beneath Adam's chin and turned his head towards him. 

Adam looked back at him. Into the blueness of his eyes. Sauli was freaking staring at him with those eyes and ugh it was just not fair. 

"Don't look at me like that..." Adam whispered, turning his head away from him. 

"I definitely will" Sauli said immediately, turning Adam's face back towards him, "Until you either tell me to walk out of the door or stay. I'll do whatever you ask... If I show my love to you the best way by letting you go then I'll do it. If that's what you want me to do but you got to say it out loud…"

Adam's eyes quickly became glassy. His voice was almost inaudible when he said;

"Stay…" 

"As long as you want me to" Sauli tried to say in a steady voice but the lump in his throat disturbed him. 

He wrapped his arm around Adam's neck and pressed his head against his. 

He inhaled the scent of Adam’s hair. Like sweat and hair products and so much like _Adam_. 

Adam let him be right there. 

Sauli felt good against him. Small and warm. Familiar and safe. 

"You can still be mad. Don't build it up but please... Let me stay…" Sauli said into his ear. 

Adam nodded, dipping his head enough to be face to face with Sauli. 

He could smell his breath. He could feel the breeze against his lips. 

Sauli captured his lips into a kiss before Adam could say or do a thing. 

Adam's mouth was the same. Right now he tasted like alcohol but his lips were still as soft as they were before. 

Sauli hasn't changed much either. 

Sauli moved backwards on the bed while Adam turned around and kneeled above him, lips still connected. The lust of wanting to savor was overwhelming and surely beat the pain they both felt. 

Sauli's hands wandered. Roughly. 

He couldn't believe it Adam who he was touching again. He wasn't afraid to yank on his hair because he knew it gets Adam wild. 

He pushed Adam’s shirt up towards his shoulders and scratched his back. 

Adam slid his hand under Sauli's shirt and felt the abs that still were so tight and firm and really freaking sexy. He dug his fingertips hard against the skin, making Sauli groan in both pain and pleasure. 

Mostly in the latter. 

Sauli tugged on Adam’s shirt, wanting him to take it off or he will tear it off. 

Adam sat on Sauli’s hips and lift his arms up when Sauli pulled it off and threw it somewhere across the room. 

Sauli felt his heart leap. He panted when he ran his both hands from Adam’s shoulders down to the waistband of his jeans. 

“You’re beautiful…” 

Adam dipped his hair back and closed his eyes. He let Sauli touch his skin wherever he was just able to reach. 

Sauli’s always known his body. He knows his comfortable zone. 

Sauli squeezed his chest and ran his inner palms over his nipples, watching them react to the touch by hardening. 

He ran his index finger down the hairline low on Adam’s stomach, feeling how Adam’s muscled jumped at the touch that was sexual yet it tickled. 

The scars on Adam’s stomach have nearly faded away. 

They’re very fair. Almost invisible. 

As much as Adam’d like Sauli to just touch him, he still felt the anger boiling inside of him. Not only just anger but bitterness and sadness. 

He pulled Sauli up to a sitting position and pulled off his shirt as well. 

As soon as it was gone, Adam pinned him back down with his own bodyweight. He wanted to grab Sauli’s wrist and keep them pinned above his head too but he wanted Sauli to touch him. He just really wanted and _needed_ him to. 

Sauli was shameless to moan when Adam bit on his neck then soothed the area by kissing and seductively licking it. 

Sauli ran his fingers through Adam’s hair. It was so thick and got easily messy due to the hair products. He ran them lower; On Adam’s broad shoulders. 

He held onto him when Adam ground himself against him. Adam’s erection felt hot even through the layers of denim. 

They both groaned aggressively. 

Adam moved his mouth from Sauli’s neck back to his lips. He didn’t try to hide the feelings in him. His tongue pushed into Sauli’s mouth forcefully and Sauli wasn’t afraid to bite it. 

He felt Adam’s hand work on his belt. He has no idea where Adam gets this sudden confidence or has he just grown so much during the years. 

Sauli helped him to remove his jeans by lifting his hips. 

When he was left in his briefs, Adam ground against him again. The denim of his jeans felt almost too rough against him since he was only protected by the thin cotton. 

Sauli dropped his hands on Adam’s ass and squeezed it hard, making Adam groan into his mouth. 

His pants were tight and it was hard to get a proper grip. Sauli tried to dip his hands underneath the pants to get a contact with Adam’s skin. 

Adam helped him by unzipping his own pants. He gave some more room. 

Sauli squeezed his ass cheeks a little harder than necessary but Adam didn’t mind. 

“Take ‘em off…” Sauli panted, tugging on the tight pants. 

“You might not like what you see” Adam whispered, suddenly unsure. 

“You kidding me? You know I’ll do” 

Adam bit his own lip pushed his pants down, tearing them off his legs when they got stuck around his ankles. 

Adam’s face was filled with pain when Sauli looked at the revealed skin. 

Sauli took a firm hold of Adam’s body and flipped them over, his eyes glued to Adam’s thighs which were filled with small cuts and scars. 

“I knew people would see my arms… But not my thighs… I’m sorry…” Adam whispered, covering his face. 

He felt Sauli’s hand on his inner thigh. Gentle and caring. 

“I’m the one who should be still repeating that I’m sorry. But you have no reason to be… “ Sauli soothed. 

Adam still expected Sauli to feel disgusted. Or to be mad. 

But all he felt was a pair of lips on the scar most near to his knee. The tension on his face relaxed immediately when Sauli nuzzled the abused skin until he reached his groin. 

His anger was slowly fading away. No one has done such thing to him than Sauli. 

♥

After a few moments Adam was thrusting into Sauli. He was being forceful but still careful. 

He didn’t want to hurt him no matter how angry he felt at the times. 

Sauli squeezed Adam’s waist with his legs, his arms were tightly around Adam’s shoulders like he was afraid he’ll suddenly disappear. 

Adam held onto the headboard of the bed and worked his hips fast and strongly. 

Sauli felt so fucking good around him. Tight and hot like he hasn’t had sex in years. 

Adam groaned when he gave a remarkably strong thrust. He tore a gorgeous moan out of Sauli’s throat too. 

Sauli opened his eyes to see Adam’s face. His eyes were closed, his teeth gritted together tightly and sweat was forming on his forehead. 

He was so freaking beautiful it was almost painful to watch. 

“This is for leaving me when I needed you the most…” Adam panted and thrust so deep where Sauli thought he couldn’t even reach, “And this is for not calling me…” Another deep thrust. 

Sauli felt Adam’s body tremble underneath his arms. He knew that sign. He was getting really close. 

“And this is for still making me love you…” Adam finished, his voice wrecked and gave the last hard thrust that tore his orgasm out of him. He dipped his head back, shooting inside the condom while moaning and groaning shamelessly. He couldn’t care less if the other ones in the hotel heard him. 

It was enough to make Sauli come too. He didn’t even need a touch. Hearing and seeing Adam come so hard his body was shaking and his cock jumping inside of him was enough make him go over the edge. 

He shot between their bodies, moaning and squeezing Adam’s skin hard with his hands. He might have left some fingerprints. 

He thought his orgasm lasted forever but Adam had it better. 

He was still trembling when Sauli came back down from the pleasure of his powerful orgasm. 

Sauli let his legs fall from Adam’s waist and reached out his hand and touched Adam. His face, neck, chest, sides… Whatever was in reach for his hand.

He watched as Adam opened his eyes and slowly shut his slack mouth. Sauli brought his hand back on his face and stroked his cheek. 

Adam looked at him for a few seconds, pushing into his soothing touch. 

Then he just dropped his body on top of Sauli’s, not caring a bit about the mess on his body, and pressed his face against Sauli’s neck. 

A muted, broken sob brought Sauli fully back into the reality. 

Adam’s body wasn’t shaking from his orgasm anymore but he was actually crying. 

“Hey… What’s wrong?” Sauli asked softly, “You hurt? Adam…” 

Adam took a hold of his cock and pulled out of Sauli before he’d be too soft. He tossed the condom to the trash can near the bed and nuzzled Sauli’s neck again. 

Adam didn’t reply to his question. He felt like he couldn’t talk. 

Sauli closed his eyes and pressed his cheek against Adam’s head and stroked his hair soothingly. 

They were both quietly. The air conditioner and the sounds of their breaths were the only noises in the room.

“Don’t go anywhere… Stay right there” Adam managed to whisper. 

“I promise. I’ll stay right here as long as you allow me to” Sauli replied, pressing a short kiss on top of Adam’s head. 

“I’m going to take a shower now. And if you’ve gone away while I’m there… You’ve made your decision and that’s final” Adam said, pulling away from the embrace and wiped his teary eyes. 

Sauli nodded, watching as Adam got up and made his way to the bathroom. 

He got up too. He grabbed a few tissues from the box on the nightstand. Adam probably won’t mind. 

It was a struggle to get his cum off his abdomen since it had dried a bit. 

When he got it off, he tossed the tissue and sat back on the bed. He pulled on his briefs and glanced at the clock. It was really late already. 

And Adam probably has to leave tomorrow. 

Sauli fell on the bed on his back and sighed. He felt happy yet a big mess. 

He listened the water run. He closed his eyes and let mind wander somewhere in his memories… 

 

_”Stop! It’s cold!” Adam squealed, trying to move away from the aim of Sauli’s water spray, “You’re so dead!”_

_Sauli cackled mischievously. He turned the water back to warm._

_“Better?”_

_“Much” Adam said, “But we’re not done here yet” He continued with a small smirk and grabbed the shower from Sauli._

_He turned the faucet enough to spray some cold water again. This time Sauli was the target._

_“No!” Sauli yelled in a high pitched voice, “Stop acting like a kid!”_

_“Me?!” Adam squealed, “Says the one who spend like 5 minutes teasing me with the cold water” He said and put the shower back in its stand._  
 _“Okay fine we’re square” Sauli said with a small smile. Adam didn’t really believe him. Sauli never lets him win in anything._

_Adam grabbed the shampoo from the shelf and spurted some on his palm, then handed it to Sauli. Adam sat on the floor and watched Sauli sit down too._

_“You know what?” Sauli asked, rubbing the shampoo to his hair._

_“Hm?”_

_“We’ve been here like 45 minutes already. Lee said they’ll be here around five”_

_Adam glanced at the clock and saw it was 4.55pm. Oh well, five great minutes to go._

_When Adam turned his head back towards Sauli, he was right before his face, beaming._

_“What are you doing?” Adam chuckled, pushing him away gently by his head._

_“Looking at the love of my life?” Sauli smiled and Adam rolled his eyes but small smile was breaking through his lips._

 

Adam came back from the shower and didn’t saw Sauli. It clenched his heart but he sort of expected it. 

He dropped his towel and grabbed a pair of briefs from his bag and pulled them on. 

Then he heard some sleepy snuffling. He walked at his bed and saw Sauli laying there on his side, sleeping with a small smile on his face. 

Adam’s lips twitched into a small crooked smile. 

He carefully sat on the bed, not wanting to jostle it too much so Sauli wouldn’t wake up. 

He got behind him, his crotch against Sauli’s ass. 

Sauli reached behind him and grabbed Adam’s arm, brining it over his body and held it tightly in his hand and against his body.

♥♥♥

Adam woke up to soft caress. Something was continuously brushing against his back.

Then it hits him. He was with Sauli last night. They had sex. And he stayed. 

“You thought I’d be gone by now?” He heard Sauli ask. Adam looked over his shoulder to see Sauli lay behind him. 

“To be honest, I did…” Adam quietly replied and returned to his previous position, back towards Sauli. 

“Well I’m here” Sauli whispered, gently touching the scratch mark he obviously left on Adam’s back, “Sorry for these” 

Adam smiled. But just slightly. 

“Stop saying those words or I’m gonna puke” 

It was Sauli’s turn to smile. Another thing that hasn’t changed; The way Adam expresses himself. 

“When you will have to leave?” 

“Today. My tour still continues” Adam said, “Run fast before Tommy finds you. He might want to punch you” 

Sauli flinched. 

“I can believe that. I did fire him… He took it pretty personally. Seems like I can’t do anything right” 

“You’re right, you can’t” Adam said, bluntly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it” 

“No. It’s true. I will talk to him… Since he’s here with you. But about you… Is there any possibility you’d have some spare time to see me again?” 

Adam bit his lip, wondering what to say. 

“Probably not” 

Sauli sighed. He did expect that. 

It made Adam frown sadly when he heard the sigh and the quiet murmur ‘Of course not’. 

“I’ll be in Paris next month though” 

“Is that invitation?” Sauli asked hopefully, his hand stopping its movement on Adam’s back. 

Adam took a deep breath. 

“Yes. Take it or leave it” 

“I’ll take it” Sauli said immediately, moving closer to Adam and kissed the back of his neck, “I’ll take anything as long as there is you and me involved” 

“Kiss a spider?” 

“Ugh. But yes, if that would make you happy” 

“It wouldn’t” 

“Then what does?” Sauli asked murmuring, kissing Adam’s neck again. 

“Kiss me?” 

Adam turned around enough to look at Sauli. Sauli couldn’t believe he was smiling at him. 

“I don’t wanna kiss that smile off your face” 

“I promise I’ll smile after you pull away” Adam said. 

“Promise?” Sauli asked, biting back his own smile. 

Adam nodded, biting his lip. 

He closed his eyes when Sauli shortly kissed his lips. It wasn’t sexual or long, it wasn’t meant to be. 

When he pulled away, he saw Adam smile so wide he could see his teeth. 

“I told you” Adam grinned, “But you gotta work to keep this on my face” 

“I’ll do anything” Sauli smiled back, “I promise. I _promise_ ”


	2. Paris 1.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam and Sauli's quality time in Paris.

"Paris is just as beautiful as last time" Sauli said when he looked out of the window and admired the landscape of the town. 

"It is" Adam agreed, "Did you notice this is the same restaurant we had a date in years ago?"

"I did" Sauli smiled, "How could I forget?" 

Adam shrugged, small smile on his lips. You never know. Maybe Sauli wouldn't have plaid any attention to such details. 

Adam was about to start a conversation but he noticed the waitress approach them so he didn't say anything just yet or she'd just end up disturbing them. 

"Here you go" She said and let the plates down on the table, "Can I get you anything else?"

"No thanks. We're fine" Adam told her and glanced at Sauli to make sure he didn't need anything. 

"Okay. Bon appétit" She smiled, stepping away from their table. 

"Thank you" Adam and Sauli both said and watched as she left their private booth. 

"Looks delicious" Sauli sighed when he looked at his meal and grabbed his knife and fork. 

Adam hummed in agreement. He took a small taste of the meal and moaned blissfully.

"It's so good" He said, "Just as delicious as it looks like"

"You sounded disturbingly sexual" Sauli teased, making Adam giggle innocently. 

Oh that sweet voice. He hasn't heard that in ages. It makes his heart flutter. It's like being on a date with your crush and not with someone you've known for years already. 

"Sex aside, you pervert. I heard you made a big breakthrough in fashion" Adam said, taking a sip of his wine. 

"You could say that" Sauli said and shrugged. 

Adam smiled. It's always been hard for Sauli to admit he's good at something or he has done something really huge. Only thing he admits he's good at is cooking and photographing. 

"I've been more in front of the camera lately though. I kind of lost my mood in photographing after I lost my favorite model to music" Sauli said and looked at Adam from under his brows. 

Adam was chewing on his food so he swallowed it before he replied;

"Wrong. I just didn't work in Sunny Stars anymore but you did still photograph me" Adam reminded, "More privately though. And in less clothes" he murmured. 

Sauli started grinning and nodded. 

"Well that's true"

"Do you still carry your camera everywhere?" 

"Of course" Sauli said immediately, "You never know what comes across. Maybe a dog on a skateboard. I wouldn't keep it as a wonder. But what about you? You've been doing a lot in music too" He asked and he saw Adam's face light up at the question. 

While he's sad that Adam stopped modeling he's also so happy that he gets to do that he loves the most. 

He knows how important music is to Adam. But a part of him still wishes he could photograph Adam. He was such an easy model to shoot. And so gorgeous you don't find one like that every day. 

"I've released one studio album. I just finished a world tour. Lots of interviews and stuff. So yeah. You could say that" Adam smiled. 

"I saw your Rolling Stone cover" Sauli said, "I hoped it would have been me taking the photos"

Adam looked into Sauli's eyes and imagined he could see some sadness in them. 

It brought some tension. Adam didn't like it. 

"You wouldn't been so mean and put a freaking snake on my leg. I was horrified. He was lusting for my balls and he was hissing like it was horny" Adam said, making Sauli laugh. 

Adam loves the way Sauli's eyes squint when he laughs. It makes him smile too. 

"I bet he was lusting for something he thought was his lover"

"My dick?" Adam asked, eyes wide, "Sauli, you're making me all blushy here"

Sauli giggled. 

"Honestly. First the guys is like,,, ‘Get him closer to his balls’ and I was almost happy with that idea. Then they said they're only attracted to things that are warm. And the snake was almost poking my balls. I was ready to scream" Adam squealed, "I had to keep cold water in my mind. They named the snake 'Adam' though" 

Adam's coming out of his shelter. He's all giggly and smiley when he's relaxed and it's Sauli's favorite thing in the whole world, to be honest. 

"Oh how relevant name for it"

Adam kicked Sauli's feet under the table. 

"Stop" He chuckled, he felt his cheeks heat up. 

"You're still so shy when I talk about something sex related" Sauli teased and looked at Adam's pink cheeks. 

"I'm not" Adam gasped right away, "I am perfectly comfortable with that subject. I am already 24" 

"Keep telling yourself that" Sauli grinned, "I know better"

Adam gasped. 

"Shut. Up" He said, "I can prove it"

"I'm looking forward to that" Sauli said and wasn't able to stop himself from smiling. He felt like an idiot who keeps grinning without any reason. 

Adam rolled his eyes, smiling and sank his fork into his food again. 

"Just wait until we get back to the hotel" Adam murmured, his focus on his plate. 

"Pardon me?"

"Nothing" Adam beamed, "Nice view, I said" He casually said and looked out of the window. 

"Sure" Sauli plaid along and sipped his wine. He grew serious then. 

"Adam?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we really okay? We can wipe the state clean?" Sauli asked a little carefully. He avoided a direct eye contact. 

Adam was quiet for a few seconds. Clearly wondering different options in his head. 

"Yes. What's the point of even trying if we wallow in the bad memories? We're fine, Sauli. Let's see where this takes us. I'm ready to try again because I'm not ready to let go. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me"

Adam's reply made Sauli smile again. Genuinely. Oh god he was almost crying again. 

"Likewise. And yes, me neither. I'm very curious to see where we find us" He said and reached over the table and pressed his hand on top of Adam's, "Hopefully somewhere light and happy place"

"Me too" Adam said, turning his hand around so he was holding Sauli's hand in his, "Me too" he repeated.

♥♥♥ 

When Adam was putting on his makeup in the bathroom, Sauli was browsing through the photos in his camera.

He wouldn't like to admit that his memory card is still full of Adam's photos. Maybe a few photos which aren't of him were here and there. 

A few videos were in there too. They’ll always be his dirty little secrets. He’ll never mention that he’s jerked off to those videos more often than to anything else. How freaky you have to be to watch videos of you and your ex having sex. 

"I’m sorry I have to leave you alone for an hour or two but this meeting is important to me” Adam yelled from the bathroom. 

Sauli’s mind was somewhere else. 

Adam frowned in the bathroom when he didn’t hear any reply.

“Did you hear what I said?” He asked loudly and stepped closer to the door to hear if Sauli was replying anything to him. 

He didn’t hear anything. 

Sauli accidentally pressed ‘play’ when he browsed the videos. 

“ _Ohhh, baby… You lik-…_

Adam’s eyes widened and he pulled away from the door and looked at it like it was the door’s fault he heard noises. 

“What are you doing?” He asked and he stepped out from the bathroom, “You look like a child caught doing something forbidden. What the fuck was that noise?" Adam said when he saw Sauli almost drop his camera when he heard Adam step out. 

"I didn’t hear anything" Sauli said right away and beamed at Adam, "You were saying?"

Adam gave him a face. What an odd coincidence that Sauli holds a camera while he hears sex noises in his head. Especially because the voice he just heard was very obviously his own. 

Oh geez, he’s had illegally little sex and Sauli’s presence doesn’t really do anything good to his built up horniness. It’s just not fair that Sauli looks so good 24/7 and his eyes and his strong arms and toned _ass_ just screams out loud at Adam to fuck him. 

Adam felt a twitch in his pants. Oh for God’s sake he must collect himself before the meeting. 

"About the meeting I have in fifteen minutes. I hope you can manage alone while I’m there" Adam repeated. 

"I will" Sauli said, smiling slightly. And innocently. 

Adam turned to face the mirror and straightened his tie and ruffled his hair a bit. He wants to give a good impression from the outside too. 

“Good. I’ll be back right when it’s over” 

Sauli put his camera down into his bag and pretended he never took it out in the first place. 

That was so awkward it can’t be put into words. 

“You be good while I’m gone” Adam said in a low tone and glanced at Sauli. 

That look went straight to Sauli’s pants. 

“I’m _always_ good” Sauli gasped. 

“Sure you are” Adam smirked, still staring at himself from the mirror. He moved his head from right to left and was so focused on his reflection he didn’t even notice when Sauli walked up to him. 

“You look good” 

Adam tore his eyes off his reflection and looked at Sauli through the mirror. 

“Thanks. But is it too much? I’m wearing eyeliner, skinny jeans and boots”

Sauli cocked his eyebrow.

“I’ve seen you wear crazier stuff. It wouldn’t surprise me to see you wearing some crazy leopard printed thongs” 

Adam glared at Sauli and got a grin for response. 

“Shut up or I might actually get ones” He said and tucked his shirt in his pants to show his pretty belt buckle, “Besides how can you know what I’m wearing underneath now” 

He just has to do that, doesn’t he? He just burnt that imagine into Sauli’s head. 

Adam just smirked at Sauli’s face and pulled his pants up a bit. 

Sauli unconsciously licked his lips at the sight of the outline of Adam’s crotch. 

“Staring?” Adam teased and adjusted himself, watching how Sauli gasped for air before he shook his head almost like he woke up from a trance. 

Sauli didn’t say anything and it just made Adam smirk. 

“I’ll see you later” He smiled then and grabbed his jacket from the rack then left. 

Sauli pursed out his lips. Not that he expects everything to be fine in a puff but he did expect Adam to kiss him before leaving. 

He looked down at himself and cursed in his mind. He doesn’t have any sort of control around Adam. 

Sauli glanced around the room. He’s in freaking Paris and that’s like the city of Love. He’s not going to scare Adam off by confessing his love this soon even though he knows that Adam knows he still loves him. 

But he has to do something for Adam. He knows that Adam still might carry a grudge towards him so he has to break the ice somehow. 

Because Adam’s worth all the possible effort. 

Sauli went to see the bathtub. Yes, it’s perfect, he thought and stepped out from the bathroom.

♥♥♥

Sauli shut down the TV when he heard Adam came in. He got down from the bed and went to greet him by the door.

"I'm sorry it took so long" Adam apologized the second he was in, "They had so many things to say and the conversation just kept going on and on”

"It's okay" Sauli reassured, frowning a bit how genuinely sorry Adam seemed to be. 

"Were you awfully bored?" Adam asked when he kicked off his shoes. 

Sauli shrugged, walking behind Adam to help him to take his coat off. 

He put it in the coat rack and watched Adam run his palms over his face. He looked more than just a little tired. 

"I think I'll take a shower before I do anything else" He said, "Wanna join me?" 

"Bath sounds better" Sauli smiled and opened the bathroom door then placed his hand on Adam's lower back and guided him in. 

Adam stopped dead in tracks when he saw the tub. 

"What..." He gasped quietly when he saw the scene before him. The light wasn't on but there were candles were surrounding the bathtub. 

There was a bottle of wine and two glasses next to it as well. 

"B-but... For me?" 

"No. For Santa Claus" Sauli said, rolling his eyes, "Of course for you. So... Interested?" He asked, pressing his head against Adam's shoulder.

Adam smiled and nodded. 

"Yeah. If you do join me"

"Of course” Sauli said right away, “You can get in while I go and..."

"Sauli" Adam started out gently, turning around to face Sauli properly, "It's not like you haven't seen me naked. And I'm not 16 anymore. You don't have to go elsewhere while I undress" 

Sauli just looked at Adam.

"I know. But last time I didn't really spend any time looking at you... And I don't know if you'd want me to look at your..."

"Hey..." Adam smiled gently, reaching out to touch Sauli's shoulder, "Under your gaze I don't... I don't feel insecure about anything. Not about my weight, my skin or even about my scars... You can look at me" He whispered, guiding Sauli's hands to the first button of his shirt, "I want you to"

Sauli bit his lip and tugged on the button, his eyes locked with Adam's. 

He let his eyes back down and he watched his own hands as he unbuttoned the first one. 

Adam dropped his own hands and let Sauli work on his own. Instead he placed them on Sauli's hips and slid his thumbs under his shirt and stroked his hipbones. 

After every button Sauli pulled the edges apart to reveal more of Adam's pale and freckly skin. 

When he reached the second last button, he tugged the shirt off Adam’s pants before he unbuttoned it. 

When he did, he revealed the biggest scar Adam had on his abdomen. Sauli can barely see the rest of them but that one is still visible. 

It goes sideways right below Adam’s navel. 

Sauli used the outer sides of his fingers to caress it for a second or two. 

Adam smiled slightly and watched Sauli’s hands as he unbuttoned the last button and pushed the edges far apart to see his whole abdomen. 

Sauli slid his arms underneath the shirt and wrapped them around Adam’s waist. It made Adam take a step closer to Sauli. 

Sauli pecked Adam on his jaw. 

“I love cuddling, you know that but we can do that later” Adam said and slowly pushed Sauli’s arms off. 

Sauli just nodded in agreement and slid Adam’s shirt fully off. 

It dropped on the floor. 

Then he raised his own arms when Adam pulled his shirt off. 

The air grew heavier when they got their hands on each other’s belt buckles. 

The metal clattered when they managed to unfasten the belts. They didn’t ask for any special permission from each other when they moved to the buttons and zippers of their pants. 

Since they both were wearing skinny jeans the easiest way to get rid of them was to take them off by themselves. They knew it too so they just chuckled when they struggled and kicked their own pants off. 

“No leopard thongs” Sauli acknowledged and grinned, running his fingers along the elastic waistband of Adam’s black briefs. 

Adam chuckled and shrugged. 

“Not today” 

Sauli smiled and let his eyes go down to Adam’s thighs. 

Adam let him look. He knew that he couldn’t hide them from Sauli and that’s why he let him see them in the first place. 

But he would be lying if he said Sauli’s look didn’t burn. God knows what goes through his mind. 

“I didn’t lie when I said I can’t do it…” Adam whispered and Sauli tore his eyes off his thighs and met Adam’s eyes. 

“I can… I can never forgive myself…” Sauli said quietly.

“Jesus Sauli, what I did was not your fault by any means” Adam said right away and took Sauli’s hand into his before they’d be wandering. 

“Not my fault? I have a hard time believing that” 

“Please don’t say that” Adam whispered, “You kept me away from worse. Thinking of you made me stop. Once the razor cut my finger and I immediately dropped it in the sink because it hurt. From that on I liked to think that it was your aura or spirit whatever that disturbed me then. You know that I believe in that shit” 

Sauli’s face softened when he listened to Adam’s talk. To think that the memory of him was so strong in his mind that it made him stop. 

“Not ever again, hey? Never” 

Adam shrugged. 

“Hopefully not. My promises haven’t really kept” He said and Sauli saw the bitterness on his face. 

“Neither have mine” Sauli said then, “I regret breaking mine though” 

“Me too for breaking my owns” 

“That makes two of us” 

Sauli’s words made Adam smile a little. 

“Now let’s get in the tub before the water gets cold” Sauli said and pulled Adam’s briefs down to his ankles in one shift move. 

It made Adam gasp and almost automatically cover himself up before he remembered with whom he was.

“Not so sudden moves” He frowned playfully and kicked his underwear off his ankles. 

“I thought you like them” Sauli beamed and pushed his own briefs down and kicked them off. 

“Oh I do” Adam said, eyes glued to Sauli’s crotch. Sauli wasn’t sure was he talking about the sudden moves anymore. 

It made him giggle and he pushed Adam towards the bathtub. 

Adam got in there first. He sat back against the edge and spread his legs. 

“Oh you just assume that I’ll sit there? What if I wanted to sit elsewhere?” Sauli teased and stepped into the tub. 

“Oh, okay” Adam teased back and closed the space between his legs. 

Sauli pouted and gently slapped Adam’s knee. 

“I thought you wanted to sit elsewhere” 

“Against your crotch is just fine” Sauli said and wanted to spread Adam’s legs by himself. He thought that Adam might tease him more and use his legs’ muscle strength to keep his legs together when Sauli tried to open them. 

But he was wrong. So he ended up using more of his own strength than necessary, causing the side of Adam’s knee to hit against the edge of the bathtub when he spread Adam’s legs. 

“Ow!” Adam shrieked, “Geez you’re already bruising me and we’ve only been here for a day” 

“I’m sorry!” Sauli squealed, soothing the hit area with his hand, “I thought you’d fight against me” 

“Oh honey I never fight against you spreading my legs” Adam murmured, “You can do that anytime” 

Sauli rolled his eyes and finally sat where his own little space was. 

“And you called me a pervert” He said. 

Adam laughed quietly, his arms going around Sauli’s body. 

“You are. Such a pretty little pervert” He sighed against Sauli’s neck. 

Sauli smiled, shivering a bit when he felt Adam’s breath breeze against him. He loves how Adam’s presence makes him feel like they’re dating for the first time. 

Every small little touch is like an electric jolt. 

Sauli watched the way the white bubbles surrounded Adam's leg. 

It worked like a contrast. Adam’s still darkish cut scars looked clearer. 

Adam knew he was looking. He didn't imagine any disgust on Sauli's face but some sort of... Interest. Like he was trying to read and study them. 

"They're not going to bite you, you know" Adam said after minutes of silence.

Sauli shook his head. 

"Of course not" He whispered, reaching out his index finger and pressed it against the skin. Not too roughly but enough to feel the scar tissue, "Why?"

Adam shrugged even though he knew Sauli wouldn't see since he sat behind him. 

"It soothed me. Relaxed me"

"How fresh are they?"

Sauli heard Adam sigh. 

"Not fresh. Older than year but less than two. Let’s not talk about them all the time. It’s not like we have much time here” 

Adam’s right. They only have a few days. 

“As you want. Wine?” Sauli smiled, reaching over the edge and pulled the bottle out of the ice. 

“Please” Adam smiled.

♥♥♥

The next day in Paris went mostly by being lazy in the hotel suite.

When the night came they decided to go out. They found a nice club nearby. 

Sauli watched as Adam posed with a fan for the camera. It was the second time already. 

He doesn’t mind though. It’s great to see that Adam has fans. 

Adam said goodbyes to his fan and returned to Sauli who waited aside with a smile on his face. 

They got inside the club before another fan would see Adam. 

They left their coats in the cloakroom and entered the club. 

The music was loud and thudding against their eardrums. The lights were awesome. 

“Let’s have drinks” Adam said and pulled Sauli through the crowd by his wrist. 

They sat at the bar and Adam ordered them both strawberry margaritas. He remembered Sauli liked it. 

Then something caught his eye. A slim built, tallish guy was standing across the room and was staring at them. 

“Two margaritas” Adam heard the bartender say. It made him tear his eyes off the dude. 

He thanked the bartender then returned his eyes on the guy who was definitely eyeing Sauli across the room. 

“What’s so interesting there?” Sauli asked, turning his head towards the way Adam was looking at but nothing exceptional caught his eye. Just a crowd of people. 

“That dude is checking you out” Adam said, his eyes nearly burning a whole to the said guy’s face. 

Sauli frowned and looked again. He didn’t see anyone who would have eyes on him. 

“Are you a little paranoid? There are other guys he might stare” Sauli said and gestured towards the row of single guys behind Adam, “Stop intimidating him” 

Adam tore his eyes off his target and gave an apologetic look to Sauli. To Sauli’s opinion he looked like a puppy that was being scolded because of doing something bad. 

The look on his face just made Sauli smile. 

“Some things don’t change. You’re still as jealous of me as before. Even when you have no reason” 

“Sorry” Adam said, sipping his margarita, “I was just sure he was looking at you” 

“Well not after that look you gave him” Sauli chuckled, “He’ll probably runs home screaming for mommy” 

Adam chuckled, his cheeks starting to feel warm. It was because of embarrassment. The margarita can’t affect this fast. 

“You’re kinda hot when you’re jealous though” Sauli grinned, taking a sip from his drink. 

“Stop” Adam said right away, “Don’t add fuel to the fire” 

As they were talking, the guy Adam was burning with his look approached them. 

“Ha! I knew he was checking you out” Adam said when he saw him. He immediately wrapped his arm around Sauli’s back. 

“Uhm… I was actually checking you out” The guy said. 

Adam’s eyes widened but otherwise his face was frozen. It made Sauli crack up. 

“Well you know what I’m sorry to tell you but he’s taken” Sauli said with a polite smile and hopped down from his chair to get his arms properly around Adam. 

He kissed Adam’s cheek. 

“My apologies” The guy said right away and left them alone. 

“Am I?” Adam asked Sauli then. 

“In my company, for sure” 

“I’d like to be taken when you’re not around too” 

“I’d like that” Sauli murmured, stealing a kiss from Adam. 

Adam felt the happiness bubble in his stomach. Oh yeah. He was happy to be taken. 

Gosh, he needs to kiss Sauli again. It was Adam’s turn to steal a kiss. 

But it was more than a quick peck. No tongue involved but lips. Lot of lips. Enough to make the wet sounds that would make people around them uncomfortable if the music wasn’t swallowing them. 

Adam took a hold of Sauli’s waist and pulled him between his legs. 

Sauli put his hands on Adam’s hair and ran his fingers through it. He can’t tell how much he has missed his thick hair. 

Adam straightened his spine and moaned when he pushed his tongue into Sauli’s mouth. He sat so far on the edge of his chair he thought he might fall but he just needed to get closer to Sauli. 

Sauli was pressed between his thighs, against his crotch so comfortably.

But the situation in Adam’s pants wasn’t that comfortable anymore. 

Sauli rolled his body against Adam. It made Adam groan. Which in turn made Sauli smirk. 

“You’re not being fair you know” Adam informed and glanced around them to see if anyone was staring at them. 

But all of the people had their own fun and they didn’t really focus on them. 

“You started” Sauli grinned, “And don’t worry, the situation in my pants is just as bad as yours” 

Adam stood up and gripped on Sauli’s ass, pulling him right against his body. 

“Now I can’t get that image out of my mind” 

He felt hot all over. Now it could be the fault of the margarita but he surely doubted it. 

“And I can’t get this out of my mind” Sauli hissed, his hands wandering down Adam’s body and brushed against his bulge. 

“You really have to do that don’t you?” Adam asked, his voice everything but steady anymore. 

Sauli beamed at him and nodded. 

“ _I need your touch_ ” Adam almost whined into Sauli’s ear. 

It clenched Sauli’s heart. 

“We can always return to the hotel” Sauli said, stroking Adam’s hair. 

“And fuck?” 

“No” 

Adam pulled away and frowned, pouting. 

“We never fuck, Adam. We make love” Sauli said, standing on his toes so he could kiss Adam’s neck. 

“Okay, sap” Adam teased, but his heart was fluttering, “We go back to the hotel… And we make love” 

Sauli smiled against Adam’s neck. 

“Sounds good to me”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continues in the next part.   
> I don't even know how I write this fast. But the next update will be up on Friday maybe. Friend's birthday party is tomorrow so no time for writing.


	3. Paris 2.0

Adam woke up to a sound of buzzing against a wooden surface. 

And throbbing in his bladder. Sauli's leg was thrown over his stomach and put pressure on his abdomen.

Gah. He really needs to pee but he also needs to pick up. Which is more important, is the question. 

Adam raised his head from the pillow, eyes squinted due to the sun light coming from the window and grabbed his phone to pick up. 

"Hey,,, Sorry I was still asleep" He mumbled, carefully moving Sauli's leg off his body and sat up, "Lane, I can't understand a word you're trying to say to me"

His head was sore. Hangover, he admits it. And Lane's babbling on the phone makes him hurt more. Fuck, he never learn. 

"What...?" Adam gasped suddenly, "What, me?! Grammy?! If this is a joke, it's not a funny one" He said in a serious tone, "Oh my god!" He squealed loudly, causing Sauli to wake up, "Okay, bye"

Sauli's eyelids were heavy when he looked at Adam but they widened as soon as Adam jumped on his body. 

"Sauli I got nominated for Grammy!" He shrieked, "Me!" 

"What?!" Sauli squealed, "Oh my god, that's so amazing!" He continued and wrapped his arms around Adam. 

Adam was smiling like no tomorrow. He can't believe what he just heard. 

He pulled away from their hug and sat on Sauli's hips.

"You know back in the days when you told me that good things come to those who wait,,, " Adam started, tapping Sauli's chin with his index finger, "I didn't believe in that shit. Good things come to those who work for the things they want"

Sauli grinned, nodding. 

"That's true. But patience is good too" He reminded, his thumbs stroking the skin near Adam's hipbones. He loves how he feels the skin over them. They're not that pointy anymore. 

"I am so excited!" Adam squealed again, making these small excited movements with his hands. 

Sauli thought it was cute. 

Sauli pushed himself up to a sitting position and pecked Adam on the lips. He exeggarated a bit, pulling away with a loud 'muah' sound. 

He wrapped his arms around Adam's waist and thanks to his strength, he was able to flip them around.

Adam giggled, feeling small and vulnerable because of the move. Sauli kissed his smile off his face.

"Just remembered I needed to pee pretty badly" Adam said once they pulled away, "Scoot"

Sauli chuckled, getting off and let Adam go to the bathroom. He sprawled on the bed and sighed blissfully. 

He rubbed his chin. Damn. He should shave. He always skips that if he knows he doesn't need to go anywhere. 

But since he doesn't need to anywhere today either, he can aswell skip it again. 

Soon he heard Adam flush the toilet so he got up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom door and knocked though the door wasn't locked. 

"Huh?"

"Do I fit in too? I should brush my teeth"

"The door's unlocked" 

"I know" Sauli said, stepping inside, "But had to make sure before storming in"

"Polite" Adam smiled while rubbing the exfoliating cream onto his face. 

Sauli grabbed his toothbrush and started brushing his teeth while he watched Adam use the exfoliating technique he had taught him long time ago. 

Adam put the rap run and washed his hands before he leaned down to rinse his face. Damn why he has to wear briefs now. 

He usually sleeps naked. Maybe because they fell asleep in their briefs because they were too tipsy to have sex.

“Ugh, my skin is breaking out again” Adam grimaced when he was finished with washing his face.

Sauli raised his head and gazed Adam through the mirror. He made a face like ‘really Adam, where exactly?’

“Look at my cheeks. This really sucks to be honest” Adam mumbled, wiping his face gently with a towel. 

He picked up his foundation but Sauli grabbed his wrist. 

“Not with me, Adam” He said in a gentle tone, taking the foundation bottle from him and placed it back on the counter. 

Adam sighed, nodding slightly. Sometimes he lets his insecurities take control of him. No matter with whom, it still happens.

“Nobody else pays that much attention to it than you. Most of the time people are only worried about the way they look, not about the way other people look. No matter where you are” Sauli reminded. 

Adam shrugged. 

“Yes, when you’re not famous. I’m pretty sure the tabloids find it very juicy and worth writing. I can imagine the big headlines ‘Adam Lambert’s skin catastrophe’” Adam said bitterly and once again leaned closer to the mirror, studying his face. 

“And you read all that?” Sauli asked, eyes glued to Adam’s even though he wasn’t looking back at him. 

Adam shrugged, more focused on his skin. But it was all Sauli needed for an answer. 

“Why do you do that to yourself?” Sauli asked then, his tone suddenly much calmer, “You know they’re trying to destroy you. The media is not supposed to be nice to anyone. At least not when it comes to tabloids. Trust me, I know that” 

Adam rolled his eyes, straightening up and walked out of the bathroom, Sauli following him. 

“I know you know that. You told me the same thing years ago. And already then, the tabloids had tons of great time when they commented my weight, my skin, my skills in modeling etc.” Adam listed with a sigh, slumping down on the couch and pulled on his shirt, “You know what they wrote when I stopped working in Sunny Stars? They said the great manager Sauli Koskinen started seeing the raw truth. That I never really fitted into modeling because of my _exceptional features_ ” 

Sauli had his arms crossed when he stood before Adam. 

He knows what the press wrote. He couldn’t avoid seeing the headlines in the shops and all but he never bothered to read them. Why should he?

“You know that’s not true. You left and it was your own decision. I didn’t fire you unlike the press thought” Sauli said and sat down next to Adam, “They write bad stuff about me too. They’ve always done that but I’ve always just shrugged it off. Right now I’m on a break from work but my agency is doing fine unlike the press writes. They can write as much shit as they want but I know the truth better” 

Adam nodded, knowing Sauli has _a little_ stronger persona than he has. He tends to see the positivity through everything. Adam is the opposite. Seeing things’ negative sides always before the positive ones. 

Sauli knew Adam’s face. He has learnt to read almost every expression and he can tell when something bothers him. 

“Adam? You read what they write about us now didn’t you?” 

Adam didn’t say anything. 

“I can’t believe you” Sauli huffed but knew that it wasn’t time for him to get mad, “Tell me you’re not believing them” 

Adam was once again quiet and avoided Sauli’s eyes. 

Sauli took a deep breath and calmed himself down before he’d say something he might regret later. 

“You honestly think I’m only seeing you again to get some more fame? To get more money?” Sauli asked, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“It’s not that black and white” Adam said then, “It’s just… I’ve had one night stands, okay? And more than once, I had to ask my fucks to remove photos from their galleries in the morning. _I don’t know_ who is really there _for me_ anymore. My career is fragile. It’s not that I want to doubt everybody but how could I ever know?” Adam bled out and shook his hands in the air restlessly, “I’m sorry, okay? But let’s be honest, I _am_ more famous than you right now”

Sauli bit his upper lip, tons of emotions boiling inside of him. He let out a long breath. 

To Adam’s eyes, Sauli didn’t look mad. More like,,, hurt. And it made Adam suddenly regret his doubts. 

“Have I _ever_ given you a reason to doubt me?” Sauli asked quietly, “You remember the first private photo shoot you did with me? Not the one where you publicized the pants but the one after that?” 

When Adam didn’t answer right away but looked like he was about to say something else, Sauli grabbed his face and made him look at him, “ _Do you. Remember_?”

“Yes!” Adam hissed, trying to squirm off but Sauli held him in place.

“And what did I let you do before that? What did I tell you to do with the contract paper? The paper with all the rules and laws and all the shit. _What_ did I tell you to do?” Sauli pressured. 

“You told me to… You told me to rip it so I could always decide about the photos. You didn’t want to give me the feeling I wasn’t in control of them. The contract said that when I sign it, you can decide about them. They’re yours after that. But since I didn’t sign it, I could have sued you if you published them because everybody always has the copyright to their own photos” 

Sauli nodded with a quiet ‘yes’ and let go of Adam’s face. 

“If I wanted to destroy you and your career, I would have published them” Sauli said, looking at Adam who was looking at the floor, “In New York, you signed the contract where I forbade myself to publish the nude photos of you that I took of you there. Trust me I have felt bitterness, sadness, madness and angriness because of you. But not at once,,, I have thought of publishing them. Even without the contract, I wouldn’t have” Sauli spoke softly and placed two of his fingers beneath Adam’s chin and made him turn his head, “I could _never_ do that to you. I _couldn’t_ hurt you that way” 

Adam nodded, his eyes glassy with forming tears. 

“You believe me, right?” Sauli asked, “Because if I did that to you, I couldn’t live with myself” 

Adam pressed his forehead against Sauli’s and closed his eyes, nodding again. 

“Yeah,,, I believe you” 

“Good” Sauli mumbled, moving his hand on the back of Adam’s neck and stroked the short hair he had there. 

Adam kissed the tip of Sauli’s nose as a sign of affection and pulled away. 

“I couldn’t help tangling onto something you said….” Adam started, “Why you’re on a break from work?” 

Sauli gave him a small smile and shrugged. He thought he wouldn’t have to tell the obvious. 

“You know my nerves when it comes to stress” He said, “Had to stop before I’d go crazy. But I’m fine already, I’ll return to LA next month. I miss my work. And Fluffie” Sauli pouted. 

“Aww” Adam cooed, “I miss Fluffie too. And my friends. They feel so absent, I haven’t been in contact as much as I would have liked to” 

Talking about friends, the tension was clear in the room. 

“Our friends managed kinda well with our situation. They are still friends with both of us” Adam said, “Must have been hell to them”

Sauli nodded, agreeing. Their friends never mentioned Sauli when with Adam and the same went other way around. 

“I wonder if they know about us? That we’re seeing each other again” Adam wondered out loud. 

Sauli shrugged. 

“I don’t think so. They would have mentioned about it. At least our mothers would have” Sauli said, making a face. 

It made Adam chuckle; 

“Well that’s true” 

For a few moments Sauli just looked at Adam with a silly grin. 

Adam knows that grin. It never means anything good. 

Sauli started moving his fingers, almost like he was squeezing and feeling something. If Adam was a woman, he’d know what sexual act that would mean but since he’s not… 

“Don’t you dare” He said sternly, holding up his finger and moving farther away from Sauli, “I mean it” 

Sauli snickered mischievously and settled on Adam’s lap. 

Adam seemed pleased with the movement. He never says no if Sauli wants to place his ass on his crotch. 

“You know what?” Sauli asked, sweetly stroking Adam’s cheek. 

“What?” Adam asked, sure that Sauli was going to say something incredibly mushy to him. 

“You’re trapped now. And I’m going to tickle you” 

Adam rolled his eyes although he was screaming inside. He casually wrapped his arms around Sauli and stood up, placed Sauli on the couch and straddled him. 

He doesn’t consider his position very toppy but with Sauli it doesn’t matter. His place switches whenever he’s on the mood and he knows Sauli doesn’t mind. 

“Really? Who’s trapped now?” He teased and straightened his back. 

Sauli grinned up at him. 

“Guess it’s me” He smiled and ran his fingers slowly up and down Adam’s thighs. His smile faded soon. 

“What?” Adam asked. 

Sauli bit his lip and glanced up at Adam’s eyes. 

“I’d want to shoot you so badly…” 

“It’s sad how often you want to shoot me” Adam teased with a gentle smile. 

“Shut. Up” Sauli hissed, pinching Adam’s thigh, “You know what I meant” 

“I do” Adam grinned, “So what did you have in mind?”

♥♥♥

The problem was just that. Sauli didn’t have anything in mind.

And it made him freak out. 

And it continued until the night when they were about to go to sleep. 

“I _always_ have something in my mind!” He whined, “I am losing my imagination!” 

“Oh hush you” Adam reassured, crawling on the bed as well after he had stripped off all this clothes, “You haven’t portrayed anyone in months. Years. You can’t expect ideas to just flood into your mind” 

Sauli sighed. 

“My career is going to flop” 

“No it’s not” Adam said, rolling his eyes, “Everybody has blocks. You’ve done so much photo shoots it’s no wonder you run out of ideas” 

Sauli nodded, lips pursed. Well, that’s partly true but still. 

“Maybe it gets better when I return to work” He sighed, “I really hope it does” 

“I’m sure it does” Adam smiled, pulling Sauli into his arms. 

Sauli felt more relaxed right away and he melted into Adam’s embrace. 

Somewhere under the covers Sauli’s hand reached Adam’s inner thigh. 

His head immediately jerked up. 

“Scars… Pain. Grief” He started listing things, his eyes fixated somewhere on the wall.

Adam’s eyes were wide. 

“So cliché” Sauli frowned, dropping his head back against Adam’s chest. 

Adam didn’t say anything because he saw that Sauli was thinking. 

“Self-hatred. Hidden burden. Shame. Gimme something _less_ cliché” Sauli whispered, “Pleasurable pain. Path out of pain” Sauli’s head was up again, “Path out of mental pain” 

Sauli sat up fully and glanced at Adam’s face. 

“Be my model?” 

Adam smiled and nodded. 

“Sure. If it helps you out of your misery” 

“It will” Sauli said, nodding frantically. 

“Okay. What do you want me to do?” Adam asked, sitting up. 

Sauli scooted off the bed and went for his bag to pull his camera out of there. 

“Get in the bathroom” Sauli said, inserting the right objective to his camera and made sure the settings were alright. 

“Do I put some clothes on?” Adam chuckled when he got up from the bed and glanced down his naked body. 

“What were you usually wearing when you…” Sauli said, gesturing towards Adam’s thighs. 

“Usually a top and my briefs… Unless I did it in the shower or bath” 

“Do I tear you open if we do this? I mean,,, if you’ve already forgotten and I just want to bring them back up again” Sauli asked concerned then. 

Adam was pulling on his briefs and shook his head as no. 

“It’s actually good if I get to ‘re-live’ it. Maybe it helps me to let go” Adam said and made his way to the bathroom. 

Sauli followed him and put the lights on. 

“Let’s hope so. You could sit on the floor, next to the bathtub” Sauli suggested, pointing at the said area. 

Adam nodded and sat down. 

“I need your scars to be visible” Sauli said, crouching down and moved Adam’s legs the way he wanted them to be. 

His both legs were bent but the other one was sort of resting against the floor so his scars showed better. 

Sauli took a few steps backwards before he crouched back down again. 

“Tell all the emotions that went through your head when you did what you did” 

“All of them?” Adam asked, sighing because there are _many_ , “Well,,, sorrow, pain, both mental and physical, joy in some sick way, relief, bitterness, guilt, anger etc. There are many” 

Sauli nodded, understanding. Well, not really understanding but,,, he nodded as a sign that he listened. 

“Where the joy came from?” he asked gently. 

“Because I forgot the mental pain… “Adam told in a quiet voice, “When human feels intense physical pain, the body releases endorphins, which is a natural pain relief but it also produces a good feeling. Maybe because of that” He said. 

Sauli nodded again, this time understanding a bit. 

“I’m gonna give you a razor blade now. But don’t you dare to even cut your finger with it” Sauli said and got up, out from the bathroom and went to his bag again and pulled out his razor. 

He carefully separated the blade from it and returned to the bathroom. 

“I put this on the floor next to you. I want you to imagine a real situation where it would be right there on the floor and you’d want to fight against the urge but it’s hard” Sauli said and let the blade down on the floor, “I want you to tell me if we go too far. I _need you to_ tell me if you feel too uncomfortable”

Adam gave him a small smile and nodded. He has done a lot of photo shoots during his career but no one has ever made him feel so good in the shoots than Sauli. 

Not that he had done _this_ serious photo shoots but still. The photographer plays a big part in the shoots. 

Sauli took his camera from the floor where he had put it earlier and sat down. 

“Now destroy that bitch with your eyes” Sauli said, referring to the blade that lay on the floor all innocently and stuff. 

Adam turned his eyes towards the blade and that’s when he saw the first white flash. He let his mind travel back to those moments when he felt emotionally so bad he was able to do such thing as harm himself. 

He closed his eyes and gripped on his other thigh. 

Sauli never sees pain as beautiful. He could never. But the shot he just got was absolutely beautiful. 

It didn’t only capture Adam’s gorgeous side profile but the whole situation. The tight grip he had on his own thigh was making it complete. 

Sauli moved a bit, wanting some shots from another angle. 

Adam opened his eyes and when he glanced straight into Sauli’s camera, Sauli snapped a photo. 

“Can I change my position?” 

“If you want to” 

Adam sat legs crisscrossed and crossed his arms, almost like he was covering or hugging his own body. 

His grip on his arms was strong. His head was tipped down but he was looking at the razor blade. 

Sauli captured every single move Adam did. 

He saw Adam let out a long breath. 

“We can stop already… I got pretty heartbreaking shots” Sauli said quietly but Adam shook his head. 

“Let me do one thing” 

Sauli nodded slowly, watching as Adam took the blade and got up. He placed the blade on the edge of the sink while he grabbed a biggish amount of toilet paper. 

Sauli watched when Adam wrapped the blade in the toilet papers and tossed in the trash can. 

“I can buy you a new blade. But this is me saying goodbye to all the fuckers behind these” Adam said, pointing at his thighs. 

Sauli smiled slightly, somehow touched by the strong will Adam has when he really wants it. 

“That’s my Adam” He said gently and put his camera down on the floor and got up. 

“ _Your_ Adam?” Adam asked with a small crooked smile. 

“Yes. _My_ Adam” Sauli smiled and wrapped his arms around the bigger body. Adam’s arms went around Sauli’s body immediately as well. 

“Can we sleep now? Or are you gonna keep freaking out?” Adam asked, pulling away enough to look at Sauli in the eyes. 

Sauli shook his head as no. It was an answer to the latter question. 

“I think I’m able to sleep now”

♥♥♥

The next morning when Adam finally got his eyes open, he felt no Sauli near his body.

It made him frown. Sauli is always like an octopus when he sleeps. 

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty” Sauli’s voice said from somewhere. “Right here” 

Adam turned around and saw Sauli sitting on the windowsill and he was drawing something. 

Adam imagined he could see a whole another glow on Sauli’s face. 

“I really hope you were not drawing me” Adam said sleepily when he realized he was sleeping on his belly, his other leg thrown over the covers and his ass was presented nicely. 

Sauli chuckled, shaking his head. 

“Tempting thought, though. But I’m not that good of a drawer. I was only planning my next photo shoot” 

Adam grabbed Sauli’s pillow and hugged it when he looked at Sauli. 

“You really did get a big boost yesterday, didn’t you?” 

“You could say that” Sauli beamed, “Tons of visions running in my mind right now” 

Adam smiled at Sauli’s excited face. 

“Want to tell me something about them?” 

“Maybe” Sauli said, his eyes back on his sketch. He doesn’t want to say it out loud that the only person he wants to his photo shoots is Adam. 

He knows Adam is busy with his own things but he can’t help it. Of course there are photo shoots Adam really couldn’t do such as female lingerie commercial photos or fragrance commercials if the scent is for women. 

But when it comes to males… Adam is all Sauli has in mind. 

Sauli looked at his drawing. He had drawn a man, sitting on a chair sort of backwards in his briefs and leather jacket with spikes on shoulders. 

He also had black leather gloves. Sauli doesn’t know why but it was a nice spice to it. 

And biker boots. 

It was nothing but a fashion photo. Sauli loves them most because they don’t need to have that much sense in them. They just look good. 

He could imagine tons of positions and poses with the said clothing. 

“Could you imagine leaving your notebook for a few minutes and join me in bed?” Sauli heard Adam ask. 

Sauli ripped his eyes off the sketch and glanced at Adam who was now lying on his back, definitely stroking his morning wood since something moved under the covers.

Sauli cocked his eyebrow at him teasingly. 

“Should I?” 

“Oh no worries, I manage alone too” Adam teased back, “But it’s more fun together” he pouted. 

Sauli smirked, put his notebook down on the windowsill and hopped down. He made his way to their bed and crawled on top of Adam’s body. 

Adam pushed the covers aside and spread his legs before he pulled Sauli fully on top of him. 

Their faces were so close they smelled each other’s breath and felt the warm breezes against their lips. 

Sauli loves when Adam is free from any products. The scent of his hairspray or cologne doesn’t cover the scent that’s his own. Sauli might smell the hints of deodorant, his vanilla lip balm and his breath that’s always fresh. 

Something so incredibly Adam it always manages to lower Sauli’s distress. 

Adam on the other hand already smelled Sauli’s cologne since he’s been awake longer. But it never manages to cover the scent of Sauli. It doesn’t come from any products, it’s just him. 

And depends on the situation of course, but it drives Adam wild. Maybe it releases testosterone in his body. 

Adam stroked Sauli’s hips with his thumbs and smiled up at him. 

Sauli returned the smile before he tilted his head and leaned in for a kiss. Adam’s lips are always soft, he takes such a good care of them and it’s always a pleasure to kiss them. 

Adam let out a pleasant hum, his hand running up Sauli’s back to the back of his neck. He possessively kept his hand there, keeping Sauli’s face close while Sauli stroked his chest. 

His other arm was prepped on the side of Adam’s head. 

Sauli tilted his head in other direction and fixed his position a little, breathing in sharply as he felt his blood rush more violently inside his body when his crotch ground against Adam’s. 

It made Adam’s breath hitch too and as he arched his back, his other leg automatically rose up and he hooked it behind Sauli’s legs. 

It’s a movement that always adds fuel to the fire. Suddenly the kissing isn’t that slow and sweet, it’s faster and dirtier. Nose bumping and brushing against each other more often. 

Adam dropped his both hands down and squeezed Sauli’s ass firmly before he run them back higher, stopping midway and just held them on Sauli’s lean back. 

Sauli felt Adam’s hot erection against the skin of his stomach. No matter how many times he has felt it, it always makes him feel hot all over. The heat starts coiling in his stomach and his cheeks feel warm. 

He moved his body again, tearing a gasp out of Adam’s throat. 

Adam took some control then, using his body strength as he flipped them around. Not fully, but enough for him to pull Sauli’s leg between his thighs. It made their moves restless, the friction seeking overwhelming.

Adam dipped his fingers underneath Sauli’s briefs and started pulling them down but soon realized he couldn’t due to their position. 

He pulled away from the kiss, his lips abused; Rosy red, swollen and wet. 

“Take these off” He groaned, tugging on the cotton of Sauli’s briefs. 

“Your patience has always been your virtue” Sauli teased, grinning and pushed his briefs down, throwing them on the bed or the floor wherever. 

“Shut up” Adam murmured, pushing their lips back together, this time his tongue entered Sauli’s mouth. 

Sauli moaned quietly, approving the move. 

Adam rolled them around completely, straddling Sauli’s slim hips and grabbed his wrists, pushing them above his head. 

He pulled away from the kiss and glanced down between their bodies where their cocks were snuggly against each other. 

“Mine has definitely missed yours” Adam smirked when he felt himself twitch at the feel of Sauli’s dick next to his own. 

“The feeling is surely mutual” Sauli said, looking down as well. 

Adam chuckled, releasing Sauli’s hands and rose on his knees. 

Sauli let out an incorehent noise and his eyes were dark when he looked at Adam’s flushed cock right there in front of him. 

It made the corner of Adam’s mouth twitch up. He stroked his length tortuously slowly, not really sure did he tease himself or Sauli more. 

He pulled his cock downwards and let go, loving the gasp Sauli let out and the small jerk his body did when his cock hit against his stomach. 

“I love driving you crazy” Adam said with a smirk and leaned back down, bringing his lips near Sauli’s ear, “ _Touch me already_ ” 

Sauli did as he was told and dropped his hand down, wrapping his fingers around Adam’s hard cock. 

Adam shuddered. 

Sauli moved his hand slowly up and down, knowing it very well that Adam will lose his mind if he keeps it up. 

There are number of things that drive him crazy and aside from the obvious slow genital stimulation there is this small patch of skin behind his ear, spot near his collarbone and his navel. 

His ankle is probably the most surprising one but Sauli has learnt to know that too. 

Adam gasped into Sauli’s ear when Sauli pressed his finger against the small spot under the head of Adam’s cock. 

Sauli felt a small amount of precum dribble on his finger. He frowned when he felt Adam’s hand push his away. 

But he soon got an answer when Adam wrapped his hand around them both. 

He started pumping fast, his grip firm and perfectly tight. 

Sauli was gasping, squeezing onto Adam’s biceps probably hard enough to bruise him. It wouldn’t be the first time though. 

Adam kissed his way from Sauli’s ear to his lips. He captured them into a passionate kiss that was all but ‘coordinated’. 

Their tongues bumped against each other furiously and saliva was dribbling down from their lips. If it was their first French kiss it would be awkward due to their noses which kept rubbing and the tilts of their heads didn’t always match. 

But since it wasn’t their first, they shrugged it off with small smiles into the kiss. 

If they even noticed the bumps in the heat. 

Adam rubbed the heads of their cocks with his inner palm and collected some precum before he returned it on their shafts, the slide much slicker and felt better. 

Sauli let his hands start wandering. He ran them down Adam’s shoulders to his sides, thighs and ass. 

It’s a nice ass so he gave it a firm squeeze which made Adam moan. 

Sauli brought his hands back up and put them on the sides of Adam’s face, almost like holding him there. 

Adam started jerking them faster. They were both already wet and dribbling on his hand. 

The movement of his hand made the slick sound in the room which was quiet despite of their harsh breaths and sucking sounds of their lips. 

“I’m getting close…” Sauli panted after he pulled away from the kiss. 

Adam wanted to reply something but he was too lost in the pleasure. 

He was so close too. 

“Oh god…” Sauli groaned, moving his hands to Adam’s hair and yanked on it as he came. 

He shot powerlessly between their bodies and Adam milked more out of him on every upstroke he did. 

“S-shit…” Adam gasped, the feel of Sauli’s cum too hot for him to handle anymore. 

He stopped jerking them and pulled his hand off, gently nudging Sauli’s face with his nose. 

“Please…” He said. Sauli knew what it meant. 

Adam wants to cum with Sauli’s touch. 

Sauli dropped his hand down and wrapped his hand around them both even though he felt way too sensitive but he wanted to feel the twitch of Adam’s cock against his own when he comes. 

It took only two to three strokes and Adam was coming. He threw his head back and moaned as his cock jumped, white substance streaming out of his cock. 

It splattered all over Sauli’s abdomen and more came out on every stroke Sauli gave him. 

It made him see stars. It’s been a while since he came so hard it blurred his vision. 

When he hissed, Sauli knew it was time to let go. Sauli thought he was going to pass out because of the constant stimulation on his spent cock but feeling Adam come was definitely worth it. And now when Adam couldn’t bear it anymore either, he let go.

Adam wanted to slump down but the big mess didn’t really tempt him. 

But on the other hand, he’s going to take a shower anyway. 

Sauli returned his hands into Adam’s hair and pulled him down. Adam didn’t protest. He let himself down, sighing heavily. 

Sauli inhaled Adam’s scent while playing with his hair. The scent didn’t really differ from the previous except now he smelled sweat and sex too. 

“You’re like bound to wash the cum off my hair” Adam mumbled then and braced himself on his arms, “Because I know you’re joining me in the shower” He added when he grimaced at the mess between their bodies. 

“Oh my god sorry I didn’t realize!” Sauli said, immediately pulling his hands away from Adam’s hair. 

Adam chuckled. 

“’s fine” he said, getting up, “I know we both love cuddling after sex but our flights are leaving soon” he pouted. 

Sauli glanced at the clock and pouted too. 

“That’s true” 

“So shower” Adam beamed, pulling Sauli up as well. 

Sauli giggled, obeying. 

“You go already, I need to find my special hair conditioner” Adam said, giving a small nudge to Sauli. 

Still giggling, Sauli obeyed and made his way to the bathroom. Adam watched him go with a smile before he went for his suitcase. 

He browsed the front pocket and pulled out his conditioner. When he got up, the sketch Sauli draw earlier caught his eye. 

He couldn’t fight against his curiosity. 

He tiptoed to it and looked at it. 

Firstly, damn Sauli is a better drawer than he thought. 

Secondly, holy hell he’ll be jealous if Sauli uses another male than him. 

Lastly, he misses being Sauli’s model. 

“Adaaaam I already miss youuu” Sauli yelled from the bathroom, totally using the thickest Finnish accent he possibly could. 

“I’m comiiiing” Adam replied, imitating his accent and strutted to the bathroom. 

Only to be greeted with Sauli’s pouty face. 

“When will I see you?”

“I am right in front of you” Adam said, pushing Sauli into the shower stall and got there himself too. 

“But I mean like after we leave Paris” 

“As soon as you come to LA. Next month didn’t you say?” Adam asked, turning on the shower. 

“Long time” Sauli said, still pouting. 

“I know” Adam sighed, “But you know what?” He asked, pulling Sauli close to his body. 

“What?” 

“Then we’ll both be in LA and there’s nothing that comes between us. We can get all domestic together” 

Sauli’s heart made a leap. 

“You want to get domestic with me?” 

“Yes” Adam whispered, “When the time comes. But let’s not ruin this by rushing. Not that it didn’t work last time when I moved in with you like after we’ve known each other for a week or so” He chuckled, making Sauli laugh too. 

Yeah. Well that’s true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took longer than I said. I've been struggling with flu. Hope you liked it even a liiitle :)


	4. Taste of your LA 1.0

Sauli was scratching the back of Fluffie’s ears on the couch when he heard the doorbell. 

"It must be Adam" Sauli said to Fluffie who immediately hopped down from the couch, "Yes! Adam! You remember Adam?" Sauli grinned, talking in a high pitched voice. 

Fluffie ran to the door first, Sauli walking behind him but at the door he had to push the dog aside gently with his foot or he would jump at Adam right on the second he gets the door open. 

And you never know about Adam's clothes. They might be expensive or made of materials which might get ruined by paws and claws. 

Sauli opened the door and saw Adam stand there with a smile. It made him smile too. 

But they were frozen. Just beaming at each other. Adam was wearing black pants, white print T-shirt and leather jacket. Looking good, as always. 

"Hello you" Adam said first, smiling and reaching out to tug on the collar of Sauli's shirt. 

"Hi" Sauli smiled back, letting himself be pulled forward and against the other body. 

It caused his foot to move and Fluffie was released. Adam managed to peck Sauli on the lips before he felt something scratch his leg. 

"Fluffie!" He squealed when he saw Fluffie. He crouched down, "Hi! I missed you too" he laughed when Fluffie desperately tried to lick his face. 

Sauli chuckled. Fluffie still doesn't like strange males but he seems to remember Adam and that he is not one of those types. 

Adam scrunched up his nose and pursed out his lips when he babbled at Fluffie and tried to keep his nose against Fluffie's. 

"Should I be worried that you're more excited to see my dog than me?" Sauli joked and watched as Adam got up. 

"Yes, you should be very worried" Adam said with a smile, "I honestly didn't miss you like at all. I only came for Fluffie" he said casually, gesturing towards the said furball.

"Yeah. I thought so. Well I didn't miss you either" Sauli said, "You can like, go away now" he continued with a serious face. 

"You're absolutely right. Have a nice day" Adam beamed, turning around like he was about to walk away. 

Sauli grabbed him by the waist and pressed himself against Adam's back. 

"But I can keep you here anyway" 

"And I can stay here anyway" Adam beamed, "Although I probably had better things to do"

"Me too. It actually bores me to see you here but no can do" 

Adam turned around and pushed Sauli against the wall. 

"Feeling's mutual. I honestly can't stand your freaking pretty face" He hissed, every inch of his body pressed against Sauli. 

They both started grinning. Luckily they can smell the sarcasm every time it's in the air. 

"I missed you so much I thought I'd go crazy" Sauli finally sighed, reaching out to place his hands on Adam's butt. Not to be gropy but to just touch after a long time.

"I missed you even more" Adam murmured against Sauli’s mouth, ready to kiss him again. 

Sauli didn’t have time to even smile before Adam’s lips were against his. He sighed blissfully, closing his eyes and pulled Adam closer. 

“If I get any closer, I’ll go through you” Adam chuckled, trying to keep his balance, which was hard because they were so close. Luckily the wall was behind Sauli. 

“You could get _in_ me” Sauli whispered smugly and earned a nip on his lower lip. 

“Don’t tempt me” Adam smirked, “We have time for that too, though” 

Sauli giggled and they both released their holds. 

Assuming he can stay, Adam walked further in since he knew the place and glanced around the big hall while taking off his jacket and shoes. 

“Nothing has changed much here” he said and put his jacket in the hangar. 

“Well I like it this way” Sauli told him and followed Adam to the living room. 

The furniture had changed in the living room but nothing else. Maybe some framed photos had been added on the wall but that’s it. 

Fluffie was following too so Sauli lift him in his arms. 

“You kept all the photos” Adam said quietly when he walked at the book shelf and saw all the same photos in frames he did when he was there last time. 

Sauli’s friends, family, co-workers and Adam himself. 

Sauli stood beside him and frowned at his declaration. 

“Of course. Why I wouldn’t have? I never even stopped thinking about you” 

Adam just shrugged, glancing at Sauli. 

Sauli let Fluffie down on the floor and glued himself against Adam, his hand settling on the small of Adam’s back. 

Adam knew he could start the angst again but he really has no reason to do that anymore. What's past is past and they can’t change something’s that already done. 

Wallowing in the past or worrying about the future only takes your energy out of the present.

The most important thing is that they’re back together and living in the moment. Because they both know things can change very suddenly. 

“When are you going to return to work?” Adam asked, changing the too heavy subject and made his way on the couch. 

Sauli followed, of course. 

“Tomorrow. And you celebrate your birthday on Saturday?” 

Adam nodded. 

“And you’ll be there?” 

“Of course!” Sauli said loudly, “I would never miss your birthday” 

“Oh good” Adam beamed, “Then I can stay in your place until that. And we go to my place on Saturday morning” 

Sauli smiled, nodding. 

“I haven’t yet seen your house” 

“I know. I’m excited to show it to you” Adam smiled and kind of scrunched up his shoulders in excitement. 

Then he put his arm around Sauli’s shoulders and pulled him close. 

“And I’m excited to see it” Sauli grinned, melting into Adam’s embrace, “But you didn’t bring any stuff with you. How do you manage?” 

“Well it’s already Thursday. I don’t need any pajamas since I sleep naked and I probably can live with the same clothes until Saturday morning. And I don’t have to necessarily wear underwear everyday so” 

“I’ve noticed that” Sauli murmured, “Wearing any now?” 

“Maybe, maybe not” Adam said with a small smirk. 

Sauli pulled away from Adam and turned around to fully face him. He wants to kiss that smug smirk off his face. 

“Don’t. Or I will have to find out” 

“Feel free” Adam grinned, raising his arm almost like he was surrendering but also taking them out of the way. 

Sauli smiled widely and pulled the waistband of Adam’s pants lower a bit to see if he was wearing any underwear. 

He was. Sauli saw the black elastic. 

A flirtatious smirk appeared on Sauli’s face when he tugged on the elastic and pulled it lower too, revealing the fair hair that lead into one of Sauli’s favorite places. 

Adam cocked his eyebrow. 

“About the,,, you’re getting in me…” Sauli murmured as he drew circles around Adam’s navel, feeling the muscles twitch under his touch. 

They weren’t the only thing that twitched – Not after Adam’s brains comprehended Sauli’s words. 

Sauli was taken by surprise when Adam pushed him on his back on the couch and settled between his legs. 

Oh god how he has missed feeling Adam’s bodyweight pressing against him. Especially when they’re like this. 

Then Sauli’s heard perked up. 

“Adam,,, Do a photo shoot with me. I promised more photos for tomorrow” 

Adam groaned, dropping his head against Sauli’s shoulder and bit him. Gently.

♥♥♥

After the long minutes of pleading, Adam finally said yes.

Sauli’s got the best puppy eyes, in his opinion, and he wasn’t able to resist them. And if there’s any way he can help Sauli getting back his work motivation, he’ll do anything. 

It’s not his first time in front of the camera. Maybe he’s even gotten better considering how many photo shoots he has done because of his singing career. 

Adam sat down on the high chair Sauli had carried in the living room from his attic. It’s a real make-up chair, one of those they use in professional studios too.

It's been a while since Adam's been in Sauli's make-up care. But he doesn’t really think that Sauli’s skills have gotten rusty. 

And damn, Adam always thought he has lots of make-up but when he saw the box Sauli had on the table, he changed his mind. 

Sauli grabbed the moisturizer first. 

"If I remember correctly, this was the best for your skin type. Doesn't make it oily but makes and keeps it smooth" He said and spurted some on the outer side of his palm. 

"Do you remember all your clients' products?" Adam asked when Sauli started smearing it on his forehead. 

"No. I haven't done make-up to many other. I have people to do that. Only you" Sauli smiled, using his fingertips to smear the moisturizer gently near Adam’s eyes.

The answer made Adam smile. 

"Now we let it dry properly or the foundation might run off" Sauli said and stood between Adam's legs. 

Adam held onto his hips and beamed at him.

"So... What clothes do I wear?"

"They're waiting for you in the dressing room" Sauli said, "I can totally see you in them"

Adam smiled but Sauli didn't have the same enthusiasm as he did years ago. He was almost like he was made to do this against his will. He doesn't do it because he wants to.

Adam can see it.

Maybe he's just jetlagged so Adam shrugged it off.

Sauli brushed Adam's face with a fingertip and hummed, nodding.

"Now the primer" He said and picked up a mattifying primer from the table beside them.

It's funny how much stuff has to be put on your face even if you go with a simple natural look. Unless you’re blessed with porcelain skin that doesn’t get oily or dry.

"Nose, chin and forehead, right?" Sauli asked, smiling a bit as he was putting the primer on the said areas with his fingertips.

Adam nodded. Sauli really does remember everything about his face.

When Sauli was done with the primer, he picked up a foundation with 70% coverage ability. Adam's skin has improved since his youth, it is smoother, but Sauli always goes with a thick foundation when he does a photo shoot.

"A beauty blender" Sauli grinned when he picked it up from the table.

"Oh so girly" Adam said with a smile when Sauli started applying the foundation with the blender.

Sauli chuckled but then his face changed more focused. He made sure he didn't miss a spot when he applied the make-up all over Adam’s face, not forgetting to blend it near his hairline and go a short way down his neck.

One of the most common mistakes he sees is the foundation line that goes over the cheeks or chin. 

"Look up" He softly directed.

Adam obeyed. He knew that when he looks up Sauli can easier apply the foundation under his eyes.

"Okaaay, done. Now the lightening concealer" Sauli said, put the beauty blender down and picked up the concealer, "This helps to bring out your face shape. You have very straight hairlines, making your forehead look square and symmetrical. And your jaw is kinda narrow. I don't really know do you have oval or triangle face shape. Maybe both"

Sauli grabbed a concealer brush and started applying it under Adam's eyes, on nose ridge, between the brows and a little amount on forehead and chin.

"Have you just learned everything you know? Or have you studied something?" Adam asked, although he probably has asked it before.

"I've learned" Sauli said, "Life teaches. The contouring part isn't the easiest one when applying make-up though. First time I tried it on my own face but it turned out not so good thanks to my already strong face features" He chuckled and finished with the concealer.

"I love your face" Adam beamed and watched Sauli take the bronzing powder.

"I know" Sauli beamed back and leaned down to kiss the tip of Adam's nose, "And I love yours"

Sauli added the powder near Adam's cheekbones and to his jawline, then put it down.

Done!

"I don’t want you to see yourself before the photos. Now go change into the clothes I’ve picked!" Sauli commanded excitedly, bouncing a little.

Adam snickered, getting up from his chair and made his way to the dressing room. Well, a walk-in closet actually. But it worked as his dressing room today.

Sauli instead sat on the chair to wait. He has such a clear vision in his head and he's sure Adam fulfills it perfectly.

All the lights were ready, the chair was ready, camera was ready. Only thing missing was the model.

Sauli shivered. It's been too long since he has done a proper photo shoot with anyone.

"Adam, are you ready? Do the clothes fit?" Sauli asked loudly and glanced at the clock, tapping his foot against the floor in anticipation.

He's been waiting for like three minutes.

"Don't rush! But yeaaaah. I just can't get the other glove on. And I didn’t really have much to put on"

Sauli chuckled.

"Well, come out and I'll help you with it. I know they're tight"

“The gloves weren’t the only thing that’s tight” Adam said from the walk-in closet, “Can’t blame these briefs for poor support though”

Sauli watched the door open and his jaw dropped the second he saw Adam step out in the clothing he had picked.

Sauli's reaction made Adam smirk.

He walked to Sauli and pressed his mouth closed, not forgetting to dip his hips on the right since Sauli was obviously staring somewhere else than into his eyes.

"Aw, see something you like?"

Sauli swallowed. Fuck. Adam in tight black briefs, black spiked leather jacket that was open and biker boots was the hottest freaking thing on Earth. In the Universe.

He almost came in his pants.

"I uhm... T-the gloves" Sauli stuttered and raised his eyes. Adam immediately reached out his other hand for him.

Sauli pulled the tight leather glove on and the look was complete.

Sauli wanted to see it properly so he took a few steps backwards and eyed Adam from head to toe.

Per-fucking-fect. He whistled.

"Get on the chair. Backwards" Sauli guided and pointed at the chair in the center of the room. 

Adam did as he was told and walked at the chair and sat down on it. 

“I do feel like a porn model” He declared when he spread his legs, the backrest of the chair between them. 

“Oh please, you’ve done worse ones” Sauli grinned and made his way behind his camera. 

“Not for public use” Adam winked. 

“True” Sauli agreed, “You can pose freely. I’ll give advice if necessary” 

Adam nodded. 

He spread his legs a little wider and placed his forearms on top of the backrest. Just a basic pose to start with. 

After Sauli’s camera had flashed, he raised his other hand and sank his fingers into his hair, dipping his head a bit too. 

“Good one” Sauli murmured and snapped a few shots of the pose. Adam’s always been so sensual in this kind of photo shoots. 

He doesn’t only give gorgeous poses but his facial expressions are perfect. His eyes are intense but not over the top. 

Sauli took his camera off its stand so he could ‘color’ the photos a bit. The angles say a lot. 

Adam straightened his spine and grabbed the top of the backrest, dipping his head again and eyefucked the camera like no tomorrow. 

There was some twitching in Sauli’s pants. And it didn’t ease up when he moved more of like behind Adam, not fully, but partly. 

Adam was able to look over his shoulder at the camera without feeling uncomfortable.

And fuck, Sauli wasn’t sure could he rip his eyes off Adam’s ass after he ‘accidentally’ glanced at it. It looked so full combined with the beautiful curve of Adam’s back and ugh. 

But eventually he had to. But Adam’s smirk talked more than words; It’s not like he doesn’t enjoy the looks Sauli gives him. 

Because he knows his intense look doesn’t mean objectifying or something because Sauli is used to seeing his models in all sort of positions and clothes. When he’s with Adam, he can’t really help it. 

He never could. 

And though Adam has gained confidence and self-esteem, he doesn’t always look in the mirror thinking ‘oh I look good’. With Sauli he often forgets how to even be insecure about himself. 

Adam used to think the phrase like ‘Beauty is in the eyes of beholder’ would be something that unsure and ugly people would say to make them feel better about themselves. 

But he learnt that it’s really true. People admire different things. Different features. 

“These are fucking gorgeous…” Sauli murmured when he browsed the shots he had taken, “But I want a few more. Keep up the posing” 

“Can I stand up?” 

“Sure” 

Adam stood up and faced the camera. He spread his legs a bit, little wider than his hips are and crossed his arms. 

“You look at me like I have done something bad” Sauli said as his camera flashed about three times in a row. 

“You have. You gave me a boner” Adam frowned playfully. 

Sauli gasped innocently. 

“I have done nothing. I haven’t even talked dirty to you” 

“No, but you stared at my ass like you could eat it” Adam hissed, moving his other hand a little so he was now touching his chin. 

Sauli slowly traced his tongue across his upper lip. 

“Wouldn’t fight against that… Now that you mentioned…” 

“Stop it!” Adam laughed but his cock jumped at the thought of it. It made him glance down his lap, “Now great, Sauli. You made him more eager” he stated, pointing at his crotch. 

Sauli snickered, putting his camera aside on the table and walked in front of Adam. 

“Naughty me” 

“ _Very_ ” Adam hissed, pulling him close by the hips. 

Sauli felt his hard cock against his stomach. 

He slid his hands under the leather jacket Adam was wearing and intertwined his fingers behind the small of Adam’s back.

He pressed a kiss on Adam’s jaw. Adam automatically dipped his head to bare more of his neck. 

Sauli planted a kiss or two on the side of his neck before he slid his hands off from Adam’s back and instead grabbed Adam by the hands and started pulling him towards the couch. 

Adam followed willingly, his eyes locked with Sauli’s. 

Sauli settled down on the couch, Adam following right after and straddled him. 

“I’ll take this off before the spikes poke something they shouldn’t” Adam chuckled, sliding his leather jacket off his shoulders. 

He took the gloves off too. 

“They definitely aren’t the only things that poke me” Sauli declared, eyebrow cocked as he looked down.

“Oh shut up, you like the way it pokes you” Adam whispered, his tone somewhat cocky. 

Sauli grinned and bit his lip.

“I do. _A lot_ ” 

Adam chuckled, placing his forearms on both sides of Sauli’s head and leaned in for a kiss. 

Sauli closed his eyes automatically and his hands roamed on Adam’s back, feeling the warmth of skin. When he reached the small of his back, he pulled Adam a little closer if that was even possible. 

They both felt some indescribable warmth going through their bodies when they kissed. 

Sauli put his other hand on the back of Adam’s neck. Maybe it’s like a sign of possession but Sauli just wanted to keep Adam there. 

Although Adam wouldn’t go anywhere. The thought didn’t even cross his mind. 

Adam breathed deeply though his nose and deepened the kiss, daring to move his body a bit to create some friction. 

He felt a little giddy when the rough denim of Sauli’s jeans scraped his sensitive flesh, he was only covered with a layer of thin cotton. 

But it didn’t stop him from thrusting his hips again. 

Sauli’s harsh intake of breath made Adam pull away with a smile. He expected to see Sauli’s mouth slack and all but Sauli was smiling too. 

“It’s called oxytocin” Sauli beamed, making Adam chuckle. 

“Oh? I thought it was called ‘hornyness’” He hissed playfully and nipped on Sauli’s lip. 

But yes, maybe oxytocin too. Makes him feel all happy and warm and fuzzy. 

They both chuckled and shared a brief kiss with a little tongue action. 

It didn’t stay brief though, they got lost into a tasteful French kiss while Adam’s hands made their way to Sauli’s belt buckle. 

It was hard to focus on the unbuckling and unzipping when Sauli’s tongue was thrusting into his mouth and swirled around his own. 

But somehow he managed in the process. Sauli lift his hips and got rid of the pants.

After that Adam sat on Sauli’s hips and pulled Sauli up into a sitting position as well so he could strip off his shirt. 

Sauli had no idea where it ended up. 

He sprawled back on the couch and pulled Adam on top of him, this time a lot less layers of clothes between their bodies. 

“Now if you start talking about your work stuff again” Adam started, tapping Sauli’s lips with his index finger, “I’ll be really mad” 

Sauli chuckled and shook his head as no. 

“Not this time. I’m pretty ready to have you…” He murmured, his touch barely even a touch when he slid his hand from Adam’s neck to his stomach and lower. 

He pushed his hand into Adam’s briefs and wrapped his fingers around the hot throbbing flesh, 

“I want you in me…” He whispered. 

It’s been too freaking long.

♥♥♥

The next day Adam visited the agency with Sauli. He was curious to see the agency and Sauli didn’t fight against it.

Although they say that you shouldn’t bring outsiders to work. But his employees all know Adam anyway so. 

Despite the few ones he had hired during his and Adam’s time apart. 

The agency had changed. A lot . Tons of new photos were covering the walls but Adam saw they weren't taken by Sauli. 

He knows his style. And even though Adam doesn't have much eye in modeling he does have eye on general look. 

"This place has... Changed" he declared, following Sauli into the elevator. 

"No shit" Sauli mumbled, his arms crossed and eyes wandering all over but not on Adam. Adam recognized that as a sign of nervousness or anger that was building up.

Sauli was tapping his foot against the floor and shook his head in pure disbelief. 

"I can't believe they did this while I was gone. I have always said that only, _only_ me and Ashley are allowed to decorate the halls with photos. I mean what the fuck! The photos don't match with each other, the models look like skeletons and it's just not right" Sauli poured out and sighed loudly, rubbing his temples. 

It’s his first day and it’s already a bad one. He wants to know who’s behind this. 

It’s fine in a way, Sauli likes teaching new workers but fuck, he wasn’t there to teach them and this is the result when they do something alone. 

"I get what you mean. I also hate it when people do things behind my back. Especially when I’m somehow involved in them... But maybe you should- Woah!" Adam's sentence was interrupted when the elevator suddenly bumped. 

Sauli's sudden grip on Adam's arm was cute in a way but Adam soon noticed he was terrified and squeezing the life out of his arm. 

"Tell me this elevator didn't get stuck" Sauli cursed under his breath when the floor number wasn’t moving anymore. He was clutching Adam's arm for dear life. 

He has been stuck in an elevator twice before but it doesn't get any better. He’s still always horrified and really anxious. 

"It probably did" Adam said calmly, "It's okay" He reassured, knowing that Sauli has a moderate claustrophobia and if he freaked out too, Sauli might have an anxiety attack.

Adam pressed the emergency button and returned his focus on Sauli who was definitely looking like he was about to lose his consciousness in any second now. 

"Let's sit down, 'kay" 

Sauli sat, more like slumped, down and pulled Adam with him too, unaware of how roughly he yanked on his arm. 

But Adam didn't flinch although he felt like Sauli ripped his shoulder off its place. He has never complained about physical pain so he won’t do it now either. 

There are more important things to do right now. 

Adam sat in the corner, legs bent and spread. 

"Come here" He whispered, pulling Sauli towards him by the arm. Sauli dragged himself close to Adam and sat across him, placing his legs on both sides of Adam's hips. 

"I can see you this way" He said quietly, suddenly sounding so small and partly vulnerable, "But I can't get close enough" He frowned then, his hands still shaking, "you probably won't disappear if I turn around" he said and turned around, back against Adam's chest. 

Adam chuckled quietly and pressed his chin on Sauli's shoulder. 

"Wasn't planning on it" 

"Fuck if I had gone here alone... I'd be hyperventilating already" Sauli said and reached behind him, taking Adam's hand and pulled it around his waist. 

"You almost did even though I was here" Adam said and Sauli felt his body relax a bit when he felt Adam’s breath brush against his neck. 

"Sorry" Sauli chuckled, embarrassed. 

"'s fine, okay. I've lost count how many times you've seen me hyperventilate or freak out or wail my eyes out of my head" Adam murmured against the skin of his neck, "Let's keep your mind off it. You said the agency has changed during your vacation,,, how they were able to do such changes while you were gone?"

"Yeah" Sauli mumbled, tracing the lines of Adam's knuckles gently with a fingertip, "I was completely out of work. Like on a vacation. I didn't do anything work related during my time in Finland so _Ashley_ kept it running. But what the fuck, the decoration is nothing like her!" He squealed. 

"There must be an explanation for this. I'm sure of it" Adam said, turning his hand around and rolled Sauli's palm in his. 

"Better be. Or I'm gonna snap" Sauli hissed and angled his head enough to look at Adam in the eyes. 

Adam pecked him on the lips and tightened his hold around him. 

“I don’t wanna sound pushy or anything but…” 

“You know. I’ve told you before. After what happened to you I… I didn’t want to believe that I was feeling weak. I didn’t want to admit it to myself because that’s not who I am. I wanted to drown my feelings to work” Sauli frowned and squeezed Adam’s palm a little tighter, “I could _never_ tell anyone to stop whining and try to go on but to myself, I can. Easily. I’m a happy person. I’m a very light and sunny too. Feeling depressed doesn’t fit into my disposition at all. I guess my brains got a little too stressed up then… I knew all the signs since it has happened before so I got a little help. They ordered me a vacation and if possible outside the US” 

Adam had a sad frown on his face. 

“So you just… acted like,,, it didn’t matter?” 

“This is not about you” Sauli said right away, “I didn’t feel like I was _allowed_ to feel any sadness because of what happened to you because I was the one who was a coward. It was strange to me to suddenly feel so… collapsed” 

Allowed to. Adam thought he might have just broken his heart.

“When we started dating years ago… I knew where I got myself into. Since the day we met I knew that you had a lot of things on your heart. I wasn’t scared of that. I never really questioned my importance to you. You made it clear to me” Sauli said quietly, “But I don’t know if I ever made your importance to me clear to you” 

“What’d you mean?” Adam frowned, “I was the one who always doubted my own importance and your lo-…” 

“Exactly” Sauli said before he could continue, “You shouldn’t have felt that way” 

Adam huffed quietly, actually surprised that Sauli saw the things that way. 

“Sauli… I don’t think anyone has ever loved me like you did. Like you do. My poor self-esteem wasn’t your fault…” 

“I know that…” Sauli whispered, pulling away from Adam’s body and turned around to properly face him, “But I wasn’t able to make it better. Maybe I should have looked at you adoringly more often, told you I love you more often… Told you that I, no matter how happy and sunny I am, would have been _nothing_ without you”

“It wasn’t your fault… Nothing was” Adam said, his voice rather a whisper. 

“It hurt so much to see your pain… To see you struggle with yourself on a daily basis. I felt so bad that I couldn’t make you feel better…” 

“Don’t be stupid… You always did. Let’s gaze back in the days I spent an hour or two in the bathroom purging and was ashamed of myself so bad I couldn’t stand it. Then let’s take a look at the day I walked on a runway admitting I am recovering from bulimia. That disease would have _killed_ me without you. I knew you loved me… I wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t…” Adam said, his voice trembling, “I still have days when I have a bad self-esteem. But even a bad self-esteem is better than nonexistent” 

Sauli bit his lip, obviously trying to keep himself from wailing out loud. 

“I will never let you hurt again…” He managed to get out before he pulled Adam into the tightest hug ever. 

“And I will never let my own weakness cause you any pain…” Adam mumbled against Sauli’s shoulders. 

"Is there anyone there?" 

Ugh, finally! 

"Yes! Please get us out of here!" Sauli yelled, squealed, maybe a little both and pulled away from their hug. 

They both wiped their eyes and exhaled a few times. 

The door was forced open and Sauli's body sagged in relief when he saw that the elevator wasn't between the floors. 

He got up and reached out a hand for Adam to grab and pulled him up as well. 

He didn't waste a second to scoot out of the freaking elevator.

"The door just got stuck" The guard said, "That can cause the system to get messed up. But glad you're both okay" 

"Barely" Sauli squeaked out, "But thank you for helping us out" He smiled politely and took Adam by the hand. 

"That's my job"

Sauli nodded and walked off, hand in hand with Adam, not fearing to show his affection towards him. 

He doesn't like being too open about their relationship to the ones who aren’t involved in their love story but right now he just couldn't let go of his hand. 

"I've informed everyone I'll be back today. I have an appointment with my dearest employees and I'm sure I will find out who's responsible of this" Sauli hissed. 

He rarely gets mad. He only does that when people won't admit their mistakes and when everybody seems to know things better than he himself. 

He doesn't get angry easily, really. Annoyed, yes, but that's a different thing. 

"You're so steamy it does things to me" Adam murmured into his ear as he leaned down a bit. He has always loved the way they can talk deep stuff and then just forget it for a few days before maybe returning back into it if necessary. 

That way they won’t make each other uncomfortable. 

Sauli's mouth burst into a smile and he let go of Adam's hand for a short moment to poke his side. 

Adam snickered, pushing his hand away. 

"I am in pain. They ruined my agency" Sauli said, not that serious but truthful. He really hates the new photos and the way they are put on the wall.

"Well you're back now. And free to change it the way it was" Adam encouraged and followed Sauli into his office though he probably shouldn't since he doesn't work there anymore.

Things that happen in the work environment don't belong to anyone else. And he's kind of an outsider. 

But he stayed near the door while Sauli walked to his employees. 

Adam giggled when they all attacked Sauli and just hugged him and kissed his cheeks and everything. He then knew that Sauli’s steam got down. 

He couldn’t yell to these people. Or be mad at them. 

Scarlett noticed Adam and she sort of grinned and tiptoed to Adam. 

“You guys are back together?” She squealed and reached up to throw her arms over Adam’s shoulders. 

Adam hugged her back as tightly as he could since her big baby bump was in the way. 

“Yeah. We decided to try again” 

“And how things are going?” Scarlett asked, hand soothingly on her belly. 

Adam glanced at Sauli who stood across the room, still being drowned to hugs. 

Sauli gave him a terrified yet happy smile. 

“We’re good” He smiled, returning his focus on Scarlett, “I kinda love him” 

Scarlett chuckled and also glanced behind her. 

“But,,, how about things in here?” Adam asked all excited as he pressed his hand on Scarlett’s bump. 

Scarlett put his hand on the right spot. 

“Very good. I’ve been feeling kinda weird. Maybe he’ll be in the world sooner than we know” She said. 

“Aww” Adam beamed, pulling his hand away after he felt some movements. 

“You’ll be the best godfather, Adam. I promise when Lee and I need a break, I’ll bring him to you and Sauli. You can learn things with him” She said, elbowing Adam’s side. 

“Let’s not rush things” Adam said right away, chuckling a bit but was then gazing Sauli again.

Scarlett smiled. 

“You look so happy again…” 

“I am. Very happy” Adam said softly, his eyes back on Scarlett, “I hope it lasts because it feels freaking awesome”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And SORRY for the delay! I had a baaad block. But now I'm back in the game.   
> Anyway this was the first part of this chapter. It would have been dead long if I posted all in one chapter. Update maybe on,,, Next weekend?


	5. Taste of your LA 2.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long AGAIN.

Moist warmth. Twitching and throbbing. 

Blood running wildly through the veins. 

Adam's eyes finally snapped open after minutes of trying to figure out where the incredibly pleasant feeling was coming from. 

"What the...?"

"I thought you'd never wake up" said someone, Sauli, under the cover that was bobbing up and down just seconds ago. 

Well isn’t that an attractive sight. 

Adam threw the cover off because fuck, he wanted to see Sauli's mouth full of his cock. 

Sauli looked up and fluttered his eyelashes innocently like he wasn’t sucking a cock at the moment. 

"Stop playing innocent" Adam hissed. 

"But I am" 

"My ass. And don't talk with your mouth full" Adam reminded, gently pushing on Sauli's head to make him take more of his cock into his mouth, "Don't stop..." 

Sauli obeyed, sucking into his cheeks, sending all sorts of vibrations through Adam's body. 

Sauli pulled away briefly to take a breath but he kept jerking the shaft. 

"Fuck, have you gotten bigger during the years? What the fuck" He squealed, actually terrified he wasn't able to deepthroat Adam properly without his gag reflex getting in the way. 

"Nah. Your skills have just gotten rusty" 

Sauli didn't like that answer. 

"Oh shut it, I'll show you" He said, stretching his jaw. 

He wrapped his lips around Adam's cock again and started slowly sliding lower, keeping his throat open. 

He felt the head of Adam's cock nudge the back of his throat.

He squeezed his eyes shut. He was biting back something he didn’t know was it a gag or moan.

One thing he knows though; He has always enjoyed giving Adam blowjobs. It makes his jaw achy and tired but it’s all worth it. 

Just hearing all the shudders and breathy moans Adam lets out compensates the pain in his jaw later. 

Adam clutched on the sheets, doing his best to keep himself from bucking his hips. Sauli’s throat hugged his cock so pleasurably he thought it’s not even real. 

Sauli pulled away to breathe again. 

He flickered his tongue around the leaking tip, tasting Adam’s pre-cum for the first time after so many years. 

It made him thirsty for more. Sauli used his index finger to rub over the spot under the head where he knows Adam’s pleasure spot is.

Moaning, Adam put his legs on his shoulders and pulled Sauli’s head lower again. He wants to come in that pretty mouth. 

Sauli obeyed, wrapping his both hands around the exposed shaft and sucked on the head eagerly.

Adam gasped, his grip on the sheets tightening and his head falling back in pleasure.

“I’m getting close…” 

Sauli hummed around his flesh, pleased, sending vibrations. He dropped his other hand lower on the shaft and fondled Adam’s balls while making all sounds of pleasure as he sucked.

Gosh, he had almost forgotten how freaking hot it is to blow Adam. 

And he isn’t afraid to let Adam hear and feel how much he enjoys is. 

Without realizing, Adam held Sauli’s head in place when he came, his cum flooding into his mouth. 

Sauli started swallowing as soon as he felt the warm substance on his tongue. 

Adam groaned, shooting more and thicker. 

Sauli had to let some of it dribble out of his mouth. He wasn’t able to swallow it all. 

Adam’s body slumped back, his legs falling down and open from Sauli’s shoulders and his grip on Sauli’s head loosening. 

Sauli pulled away, licking his lips seductively while crawling up. 

Adam’s eyes were closed but he was completely prepared for the kiss that was coming. He knows Sauli kisses after a blowjob. 

And Adam personally doesn’t have that much problems with tasting himself on Sauli’s tongue than he did before. 

He willingly opened his mouth for Sauli’s tongue to enter. 

He even hummed a bit. He could definitely taste himself. 

“Happy birthday, _kulta_ ” Sauli whispered after pulling away. 

Adam smiled. He loves it when Sauli calls him that. 

“Thank you, baby. Was that my present?” He asked, beaming. 

Sauli scrunched up his nose and brought his fingers to Adam’s lips. Adam traced his tongue over them, picking up some of his cum. 

Sauli kissed him again, keeping his fingers between their lips so they both almost like lapped his fingers clean.

Adam pulled away shortly, cocking his eyebrow at Sauli. 

“You honestly have some sort of kink” 

“Nah” Sauli shrugged, reaching out to grab a tissue from the nightstand and wiped his hands, “I just like it. A lot. Like everything about you” 

Adam chuckled, feeling utterly loved at the moment. 

“But about your present,,, this was part of it, I guess” Sauli said while wiping Adam’s cum off his stomach.

When he was done, he tapped Adam’s nose with a fingertip, “Stay” He murmured, scooting of the bed and disappearing somewhere. 

Adam giggled quietly and sprawled on the bed, flexing his toes. 

He closed his eyes briefly before reaching out to grab his phone from the nightstand. 

He browsed through his twitter feed but put his phone away when he heard Sauli’s steps again. 

Sauli appeared into the room with a square present that he had wrapped to a gift paper prettily.

Isn’t he cute, Adam thought. 

He sat up and pulled the covers across his lap. 

“I honestly didn’t know what to get to you. You have everything possible” Sauli pouted and handed the present to Adam. 

He saw Adam’s expression change a bit. 

“It’s funny you think that way” Adam said quietly. It’s like a stereotype of celebrities: Their lives are perfect and they have everything and more and they live in their own perfect little bubble.

“I just said you have everything. Because you do have a lot of stuff” 

“You haven’t even been in my house” Adam insisted, “Or seen my bank account. Being famous doesn’t mean you- Mhm…” 

Gladly Sauli knows how to shut Adam up when he starts to nag about something that’s not important or something that completely misses the point. 

Adam never pulls away from a kiss. Unless he’s really mad. Or if it comes from a person he doesn’t like. 

Sauli savored his mouth, traced his tongue across his lips and nibbled the lower lip. 

When he felt Adam’s body relax, he pulled away. 

Adam looked dazed, like he completely forgot his previous point because of the kiss. 

“Sush, lover. What I meant was that you have a lot of jewelries and accessories I used to buy you before. And to be honest, I don’t know what would have been special enough for you… “ Sauli said, a little quietly and squeezed Adam’s thigh through the cover. 

“Aww” Adam cooed, pecking Sauli on the lips, “Just the fact that you actually got me something warms my heart. Can I open it?” 

Sauli nodded, smiling. He watched as Adam unwrapped the present like a kid on Christmas Eve. 

He bit his lip nervously, trying to read Adam’s facial expression when he got the paper off and saw what’s inside. 

The silence was killing him. 

“Adam, do you-“

“Oh my god” Adam gasped, his hand flying to his chest and over his heart that was fluttering. 

“Do you-” Sauli tried again.

“I love it. Already and I haven’t even browsed it through” 

Sauli had freaking made him a photo album. 

“I hope it’s not too much. It does contain photos from the times when you…”

“Who cares, you’ve collected all the best moments of my life to this” Adam said, his voice clearly disturbed by a lump in his throat, “All those moments have you in them…”

Sauli didn’t ever think Adam would get so genuinely touched by it. 

Adam covered his eyes with his palm and inhaled through his nose. 

“Thank you” He was able to say. 

“You’re welcome” Sauli whispered, gathering Adam into his embrace. He pressed a kiss on the side of his neck and stroked his back soothingly, “Let’s go to your place, eh? I wanna see how your rockstar life is going” 

Adam pulled away, chuckling quietly. 

“If you insist”

♥♥♥

"Wow. Well you don't live in that small house either" Sauli said in awe when he saw the house from the window when Adam drove his car to the yard.

Adam was living in a huge house. Sauli wondered if he ever felt lonely too. Having a big house all yourself does feel great at first but very soon it becomes too big. 

You want to have someone around. 

"That's a rockstar for you" Adam beamed, parking his car in front of the garage. He might need it later so no point to drive it inside yet.

He pulled the keys out and Sauli was already out of the car and was watching around him. 

Adam got out too and locked his car doors. 

"Wanna see what it is like inside?" He asked, wrapping his arm around Sauli's shoulders. 

"Please" Sauli grinned.

Adam chuckled, leading Sauli to the door and unlocked it, pulled it open and let Sauli step inside before him. 

Sauli thought it smelled like Adam. Every house has a certain scent of own and Sauli has never been in Adam’s house but it just still smelled like him. 

Adam giggled at Sauli’s dazed gaze. 

“Baby, this is just the hall” He joked and put his hands on Sauli’s hips as he pushed him further inside, “Wait until you see my bedroom” 

“That’s really all I’m interested” Sauli said and earned a pinch on his side, “Not really” He giggled then. 

Adam guided him to the living room. 

Adam also had a bookshelf full of framed photos but Sauli didn’t see one photo of himself. It made him more than just a little sad. 

Adam noticed that too so he just pulled Sauli past the shelf and to the doors that lead outside. 

Sauli’s eyes lightened up when he saw a big pool. 

“Haven’t used it much” Adam said, pursing out his lips. 

Sauli glanced at his eyes and smiled, hint of smirk underneath. 

“Maybe we can fix that” 

“Maybe” Adam smirked back, “More fun together” 

Sauli eyed the backyard some more, seeing a sun stool or two, small shelter, like a patio, and couch underneath. 

Cute. Maybe they can watch the sunset from there sometimes. 

“Now let’s continue. Not hard to find the kitchen” Adam said and turned around and pointed the way, “One bathroom is right there” he continued, pointing the way again, “And now upstairs”

Sauli followed Adam upstairs and admired the way Adam had decorated and styled his house. 

Once upstairs, Adam showed Sauli the second bathroom, guest room and one extra bedroom. 

Best for the last: His own room. 

Adam pushed the door open and Sauli stepped inside. 

It was roomy and light. Which was surprising, Sauli expected his bedroom to be like his living room, sort of gothic. 

And big king sized bed in the middle. 

It looked perfect to have sex in. 

“You know this might sound really weird and crazy but,” Adam started murmuring, standing behind Sauli, lips close to his ear, “I haven’t brought anyone up here. I am not gonna say I haven’t had one night stands, I have. But not in my bed” 

Sauli bit his lip, his heart beating a little faster than a second ago. 

“You haven’t christened this poor bed?” He asked. 

Adam’s breath brushed his ear as he chuckled, it made Sauli shiver. 

“No” 

“Waiting for someone special?” 

“Yes” Adam whispered, mouthing the side of Sauli’s neck, “You” 

“And you call me a sap” Sauli joked, turning around to face Adam, “I am nothing compared to-“ 

Adam pulled Sauli tightly against his body. 

“You” Sauli finished. 

“In what sense?” Adam asked teasingly, rolling his hips a bit in a meaningful way. 

“What are you trying to say?” Sauli gasped. 

Adam shrugged innocently. 

“You are so bad” Sauli hissed, reaching out to grab a handful of Adam’s ass. 

“I am _so good_ ” Adam corrected cockily. 

Sauli can’t understand how you can love someone to bits. But he definitely dares to say he loves Adam just that much. 

Sauli cocked his eyebrow at Adam’s words and started pulling him towards the bed, careful with his steps since he walked backwards. 

Adam was about to nudge Sauli down but suddenly ended up on the mattress himself, pinned by Sauli. 

“I might be small but I’m stronger than you” Sauli grinned, “But since you said you’re _so good_ you must be able- Oh” 

Sauli is strong, yes, but he’s light so it wasn’t so hard for Adam to flip their bodies around. 

“We’re both so good the world shakes when we collide”

“Is it just me or did that sound really dirty?” Sauli asked. 

Adam chuckled and captured Sauli’s lips to a kiss. 

Sauli’s lips are always so soft and right now they taste like the coffee he had earlier. 

Adam sighed happily, deepening the kiss. Maybe he slipped his tongue inside Sauli’s mouth. 

It’s ridiculous how he feels like he could kiss and touch Sauli 24/7. 

Maybe their long time apart made their relationship fresh in every meaning of it. Usually the stage when you’d like to do nothing but cling to your partner ends after the relationship becomes every day. 

The relationship is much more than just sex. But they’re both going to enjoy it while they can. Because eventually, it’ll change. 

The relationship stays but things change. 

“Someday I’m going to suffer from erectile dysfunction” 

Sauli pulled away to chuckle in amusement. Is Adam honestly thinking about that right now when they’re kissing and he can most definitely feel there’s nothing dysfunctional going on in Adam’s pants. 

Prominent. More likely. 

“I don’t think you have to worry about it right now” Sauli murmured and glanced down. 

“Maybe not today but…”

“Maybe in forty years” Sauli said, his hands creeping down Adam’s abdomen. He reached the belt buckle and unbuckled it, along with his zipper. 

He pushed his hand inside and pulled the hardering cock out. Adam bit his lip to bite back a gasp. 

“No problems here” Sauli grinned smugly and lazily stroked the shaft.

Adam rolled his eyes, smiling. 

Sauli twirled his thumb around the head and over the slit. Adam dropped his head against Sauli’s shoulders and allowed himself to get lost in the feeling. 

Only if his fucking phone didn’t just ring… 

He took a deep breath to shake off the frustration and reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. 

“It’s mom. I might need to take this or she’ll call the police that someone has kidnapped me” He said and picked up, “Hi mom” he said in a tone that probably told her she had interrupted something. 

Sauli watched Adam’s face as he listened to his mother. A mischievous smile made its way on his face when he stroked the head of Adam’s cock. 

Adam squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip. 

Sauli is just a bitch. And his mom just interrupted. And his freaking birthday guests will be here in five hours. 

He just can’t get anything done.

♥♥♥

The high of booze was slowly fading away.

Adam felt how his eyelids felt heavy. How cozy it was to be right there where he was: 

On his bed, cuddling Sauli. Alone. After everyone had gone home. 

It was great to see all his friends after the long tour. And see how well Sauli came along with most of them. 

"One of the wildest parties I've ever been to" Sauli said after a while, "I’ll be so hangover tomorrow"

Adam smiled lazily. 

"Me too. I don't really care as long as you suffer too"

"Hey!" Sauli laughed, pinching Adam's thigh, "That wasn't nicely said"

Adam chuckled mischievously. 

Everything felt perfect. 

Except the slight throbbing on his temples. It's almost 6 in the morning. He could use some sleep. 

And the pizza he wolfed down earlier has sent his stomach to panic. 

He grunted as Sauli sprawled on top of his body. 

Sauli slurred something about how great Adam's cock is and how he wants to ride it right now but his actions didn't really speak as loud. 

"Well. My cock seems _very_ great and interesting" Adam said, rolling his eyes when Sauli snuffled sleepily and rested his head on his chest. 

"It is. But my body doesn't move as fast as I'd want it to"

"I can see that. But don't fall asleep on me. My bladder is about to burst" Adam hissed, bucking his hips. 

Sauli didn't want to move an inch. And Adam was too tired to care.

"Go to the bathroom then" Sauli mumbled like he wasn't lying on top of Adam and blocking his moving.

"Too tired. Don't wanna move" Adam murmured and closed his eyes, "By the way, Scarlett gave a birth to a baby boy. We can visit them tomorrow" 

"Lovely" Sauli grinned, "Hopefully she isn't so sensitive anymore"

"I know right. I think I mentioned her about worse pains than her false contractions and she nearly punched me in the balls" Adam frowned. 

Oh he remembers it. He has never seen flames in anyone's eyes but then,,, he did. Her knee went dangerously close.

"Do you know anyone who's a HSP?" Sauli asked then, chewing on Adam's shirt like a freaking puppy. 

Sauli is so funny when he's drunk. He's funny when he's sober but he never chews on Adam's clothes. 

On his skin he does, though...

"What?"

"Highly sensitive person. Scarlett was like them"

"The people who show their emotions easily? They cry at the smallest things?"

Sauli wanted to say just like you. But he wasn't sure were they at the point where he could joke about Adam's sensitivity. 

They've been there. But they surely fell out when they broke up. 

Adam hasn't always been like that. It took years until he was able to express his grief when he needed to. And now when he has learnt that valuable skill, it shows often.

Which isn’t a bad thing at all. 

"Like me" Adam said smiling, almost like he read Sauli's mind.

Sauli's mouth twitched to a smile. 

"I wasn't sure could I..."

"You always tease me anyway"

"It's not the same" Sauli said right away, "Back then you knew I'd never make fun of you. Not really. I always teased you lovingly"

Adam wrapped his arms around Sauli's body and rolled them over. 

Sauli loved the weight of Adam on top of him. 

"You silly" He smiled gently, "Baby, I know you'd never make fun of my features. But fuck, I know I cry easily nowadays. Like a baby"

Sauli smiled and stroked Adam's hair. 

"That makes me love you even more"

 

Next time they woke up around 12.05 p.m. 

"I am suffering" Adam declared loudly, his face pressed against the pillow to block any sunlight coming from the window. 

"Want some juice?" He heard Sauli ask like he wasn't suffering a bit _at all_. 

Where does he get his energy? It’s not right he doesn’t feel like his head is exploding.

"If you haven't done anything mischievous" 

Sauli chuckled and shook his head as no. 

Adam sat up and rubbed his eyes, smudging his make-up even more. 

Sauli bit back a smile when Adam dropped his hands. 

“Don’t. I know I must look awful” Adam groaned and took the glass of juice from Sauli. 

“Don’t be silly” Sauli said and handed him a painkiller to ease the feeling in his head. 

Adam took the pill with a gulp of juice then put the glass on the nightstand. 

“Scarlett called. Youcould go and visit her in the hospital before she’ll go home” Sauli told him and Adam gave him a weird look. 

“Aren’t you hangover?” 

Sauli shook his head as no and chuckled. 

“I took a painkiller before I went to sleep. It helps. I would have given you one too but you already snored” 

“I don’t snore” Adam reminded and held up his finger as if to prove his point. 

“Whatever you say” Sauli grinned and stroked Adam’s thigh through the covers, “I kinda promised that you’ll go though”

“Only me? Aren’t you coming?” 

Sauli shrugged. 

“You’ve gotten so close to them while I was gone. I don’t feel like I am part of this” Sauli said honestly and Adam could hear a little sadness in his voice. 

He feels like he has stolen Sauli’s friends. 

“Don’t say that. Of course you’re part of this” Adam whispered right away, placing his hand on top of Sauli’s, “We’re dating. That’s enough to make you part of it”

Sauli smiled slightly and avoided his look. 

“You’re so… unsure about everything” Adam said, frowning sadly. 

Sauli raised his head and looked straight into Adam’s eyes. 

“Not really. But somehow I feel like they’re sort of protective of you” 

Adam sighed. 

“Everybody makes mistakes. Mistakes are forgivable” 

“Not when mine almost got you killed” 

“Oh shut the fuck up” Adam said firmly. 

Sauli’s eyes widened in pure surprise. Wow. That’s something Adam has never said to him that serious. 

It surprised Adam too. 

“Sorry” He chuckled, “What I really meant was that I was fucked up in general. Not only because of you. And my friends know that too. They’re not mad at you or anything, believe me. Sauli, we promised to let go of the past”

“I know but…” 

“No buts. I forgave you. But this thing between us can’t work if you can’t forgive to yourself. You have to accept the things that has happened and move on” 

Sauli nodded, agreeing. 

“You’re right. You’ve become so wise”

Adam gasped. 

“I’ve _become_? Does that mean I wasn’t that before?” 

Sauli just grinned teasingly, playfully. 

“You take that back” 

Sauli shook his head as no, his smiled wide and genuine. 

Adam growled playfully and attacked Sauli’s figure. He pinned him down against the mattress. 

“Ow, ouch, does not like to move” He complained, holding his head as his vision went blurry and his head reminded him that he was hangover. 

“Aw” Sauli cooed, chuckling, “Just sleep an hour or so. It’ll help. I make something to eat while that” 

“Only if it stays down” Adam said when his stomach turned at the thought of food. 

“I’ll figure out something” Sauli smiled, pushing Adam off and laid him on the bed, “But remember to wash your eyes before we leave the house” he chuckled and got out of the bed and left the room.

♥♥♥

After visiting Scarlett, Adam couldn't stop the squealing after the first photos he took of baby Riff.

"Look at him! He's so small! Knows nothing about the cruelty of the world" Adam said and once again almost pushed the phone right at Sauli's face. 

"You said the same thing to my nephew" Sauli said and gently pushed the phone a little farther away from his face to even see the photo on the screen. 

"Because it's true" Adam stated pouting and turned the screen towards himself again and looked at the photo, "Babies don't need to know how hard life will get. Not that they would even understand if someone told them"

"Life would be boring if it was always easy" Sauli reminded and pressed his head against Adam's shoulder, “It’s good to remember that too” 

"Of course. But it shouldn't be too hard" Adam said quietly and put his phone on the nightstand. 

Sauli hummed, agreeing and slid lower, pressing his head against Adam's chest. 

He likes listening to his heartbeat. 

True Blood starts soon. 

"I've wished so many times that I would have been one of those people who pretend their life is shit just to get attention. I know that's really harshly said but some people actually do that" 

Sauli pulled the collar of Adam's shirt lower and kissed his skin. 

"I know too. But I believe they have good reasons to do so. Maybe the lack of attention makes them feel like they're not good enough" 

"You sound like you know what you're saying" 

"Not really. That's just my guess. Because usually the ones who are really suffering are doing their best to hide it" Sauli said, glancing up at Adam. 

Adam smiled sheepishly and rubbed Sauli's back. 

"Maybe so. But maybe some of the attention seekers are just emotionally intelligent. You know, they find it easy to talk" Adam wondered out loud and Sauli nodded, frowning. 

"True. Difficult to say"

"I know for sure that I didn't want people around me to know. I cut myself from the places that weren't visible and hid my bulimia the best I could. I didn’t want the attention. I didn’t say I hate my life just to get people ask me what’s wrong. That’s just… Desperate"

Sauli stroked his abdomen before he hugged him and made some pitiful loving sound.

"I was lost before I met you" Adam whispered, "I was lost after I lost you again. I feel like I have seen every path and always gotten lost. This," He said, taking Sauli's hand into his, "Is the path that has kept me on the right track"

Sauli looked at their joined hands, thoughtfully. 

"Sometimes you need to get lost to find the right road. Only then you can know" 

"Guess I can say I know then. I hope you feel the same way about me" 

"I do" Sauli murmured, raising his head to kiss Adam on the jaw, "I do"

Adam smiled and held Sauli's smaller body close to his. 

"I was just wondering... Would you like to go to Tahiti with me? Three days in Bora Bora?" He asked, little carefully. 

Sauli's head perked up and he looked at Adam. 

"Really? When?"

"Next month. Valentine's day..."

Sauli smiled widely. 

"If you want to take me to Tahiti, I won't say no" 

"Good" Adam beamed, pursing out his lips to tell he wanted a kiss. Sauli chuckled and pecked him on the lips. 

"It's my turn to take you somewhere" Adam said and reached out to grab a remote to turn up the volume a bit since the True Blood was about to start. 

Sauli can go to Tahiti with Adam. That sounds like the most romantic vacation ever. 

Talking of vacation, Sauli remembered he's back at work. But sure he can get himself some days-off.

"Brian liked the photos I took of you, by the way. He'd like to frame some of them for our gallery" 

"That's cool. As long as you do some photoshopping. I don't want everyone to see my thighs" Adam frowned. 

“Sure. As you like. I already have some more ideas for photo shoots” Sauli smiled, his fingers playing with the elastics of Adam’s briefs. 

Adam’s shirt had rolled up a bit so he couldn’t resist since the elastic was visible. 

“And you just assume I have time for those?”

“And you just assume you’re even involved to them?” 

They both chuckled. 

“Am I?” 

“You’re not working at the agency anymore. Some people might think that’s wrong. Like,,, You take job opportunities away from the models that work for me permanently” 

It’s sad but true. Adam knows it too. But the thought of Sauli doing same kind of photo shoots he did with him with someone else sends a wave of jealousy through his body.

“I get it” Adam mumbled. 

Sauli glanced up at his face. He knows that face. 

“Adammm. I did this job way before I met you. And I always thought of it as a job. When my skin started to tingle and my heart started to leap when I photographed you, it freaked me out because I wasn’t supposed to feel that way about my models. You were the first and the last one to make me feel that way”

“I know” Adam said, staring at the TV screen. 

“But if you’re not busy,,, You can always do some freelancing” 

Adam’s eyes lightened. 

“I’d like to” He beamed. 

“Good” Sauli smiled, reaching up to pinch Adam’s cheek, “But show a little trust in me. Why would I ever lay a finger on anyone else when I already have the best I can get?” 

Adam smiled sheepishly and nodded. He really should learn to trust or nothing good will follow. 

Sauli glanced at the clock and remembered that Fluffie has been alone at home for the day because Pia had somewhere to go. 

He quickly sat up.

“Oh shit, Fluffie is alone. As much as I’d like to stay I need to go home to see if he’s okay”

Adam understood. 

“When will I see you again?” 

“We’re in the same city, Adam” Sauli chuckled, “Get used to that thought. But I have work tomorrow. Visit me at the agency?”

“Lunch time, 11.30. a.m. Got it” Adam smiled. 

Sauli pecked Adam on the lips and left the room. Hopefully he can even find his way out of the house. 

He did. As soon as he was out of the house, he received a text message. He laughed when he saw it was from Adam.

_Am I sap if I miss you already? ;p_

Sauli shook his head at him, giggling.

He replied; 

_I missed you first :*_

He put his phone back into his pocket and made his way out of the yard. He can call a cab after he gets down from the hills. 

In the house, Adam grabbed his phone after he heard he received a reply. 

He read it and giggled after, pressing his face against his pillow. They’re not real. 

He has a feeling they might set a new face to love. A new, fresh and totally ridiculous face. 

Adam knows he’s just falling after the years. But he’s falling fast. And hard. 

He can’t say it scares him. But sometimes he needs to be shaken by the shoulders until he understands that someone is falling for him too and that someone is really trustworthy.

He knows Sauli knows that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to give you chapter that's kinda boring and nothing happens in it but here you are.


	6. You are perfect to me

**_In Tahiti, Bora Bora…_ **

 

“I’ve never seen water so blue” Adam said when he approached Sauli who stood on the pier of their villa, admiring the scenery as the sun was setting. 

“I have. In Caribbean” 

“When have you been in Caribbean?” Adam asked, wrapping his arms around Sauli’s waist from behind. 

Sauli melted into his embrace. 

“When I was like 17. It was beautiful and wonderful but I felt like I couldn’t get everything out of the stuff it had to offer. Maybe we should go there together sometime” Sauli beamed and looked over his shoulder at Adam. 

Adam smiled at him and nodded. The world is their playground.

Sauli spun around and grabbed Adam by the hand, starting to pull him towards the end of the pier. 

“Swim?” 

“As you like” 

Sauli was already strutting around in his swim shorts but Adam was wearing a tank top in addition to his swim trunks. It’s something Sauli still doesn’t understand. Why he has to cover up something Sauli has seen tons of times? 

Sauli grabbed the hem of Adam’s top and pushed it up, Adam raised his arms so he could take it off. 

Sauli made sure it didn’t fall into the water as he tossed it. 

He gave an approving smile at Adam’s bare abdomen before he got down in the water. 

Adam followed him right after. 

St.Regis prohibits the skinny dipping, unfortunately. What a shame. 

Adam had just made it to the water when he saw Sauli’s legs up and he disappeared under the surface of the water. He seems like he has learnt to love water. 

It was dim and he didn’t see well under the water but enough to see Sauli dive to him. 

He felt a tug on the ties of his swim shorts before Sauli came up, grinning. Adam watched, chuckling, and tied his shorts. 

Not that it really matters but he really doesn’t want them to be kicked out because of getting naked in the water. 

“You little brat” 

“I can’t even keep up with how many times you’ve called me that” Sauli laughed, his arms going around Adam’s body as he stepped closer to him, “Come up with something new” he said, kissing Adam on the jaw. 

Adam chuckled, cupping Sauli’s face between his palms. He couldn’t see clearly, just the glow of his eyes and his teeth. 

“What? A rascal?” 

Sauli laughed, shaking his head. 

“Okay. Maybe not” 

“I thought so” 

Suddenly Sauli’s smile faded and he became serious. He brought his hand up and traced Adam’s lip with a fingertip. 

Adam’s mouth fell slightly open, just a little, and he closed his eyes. 

“I don’t remember if I have ever told you but you have pretty lips”

Sauli has. But actually only during oral sex when he can’t think of anything else. 

 

Adam opened his mouth and took Sauli’s finger between his lips. He imagined he saw Sauli’s eyes go a little darker as he sucked on it and licked it wet. 

He pulled away with a smirk. 

“I know a place where you could put it”

“Jesus, Adam” Sauli breathed. It’s just not fair that he goes weak on his knees just from Adam’s words. 

Because he knows what Adam was hinting, there was no doubt about it. 

Adam chuckled all innocently but became serious soon when Sauli wasn’t laughing, he was still staring at Adam’s lips and touching them. 

Adam closed his eyes again. He could practically taste the tension in the air. 

“Would you… Would you still let me?” Sauli asked whispering. 

“Let what?” 

Sauli bit his lip and stepped closer to Adam, his breath brushing against Adam’s chin and his hand dropping lower to slide it over Adam’s ass meaningfully. 

“You know” 

“Do I?” Adam asked.

“Yes” Sauli hissed, restlessly trying to move closer, “Why are you doing this to me?” 

Adam smiled, smirk underneath, and sighed happily. 

“Because you always did it to me when we were younger. So don’t expect me to know”

Sauli closed his eyes impatiently but it just made Adam feel even more in control of his emotions. 

He felt Sauli grip on his ass cheeks firmly. 

“I know you’ve learnt your place in bedroom… And in a relationship in general. But maybe… Maybe just…”

Adam arched his eyebrows and made a movement with his hand, as if to tell Sauli to keep talking because he didn’t make any sense out of it. 

“Maybe just once…?”

Adam hushed him. 

“Firstly,,, I don’t believe in that. I think you always build it up with your partner. You can’t always be the same. You cross boundaries for the other. You may think it’s just about you fucking me for a change. But it’s not. It’s about sharing something beautiful between us. And it’s called trust. It’s about love. Not just sex” 

Sauli’s eyes were sparkling as he looked at Adam. He was always the poetic one but it’s seems he’ll be the second best from now on. 

Adam has learnt a lot. 

“Of course it’s not about sex. It’s just that… I lost your trust once. I don’t can I ever… Build it up again” Sauli said, hint of sadness visible in his eyes. 

“Hey” Adam whispered, placing his palm against Sauli’s cheek and didn’t let him move his head, “You never lost my trust in _this_. Never. I don’t like putting myself to that vulnerable position with a person I can’t fully trust. You may have left me but that doesn’t change the fact that you were always good to me. In everything” 

Sauli nuzzled into Adam’s touch, his possessive and nervous touch on his ass loosening to gentle stroking. 

“I can’t believe this is all happening. After everything that…” He said quietly, gazing into Adam’s eyes. 

Adam gave him a sweet smile. 

“Maybe we’re meant to be. You know,,, written in the stars” 

Sauli bit back a grin. He never understood Adam’s obsession with that stuff but if that’s what he wants to believe in, Sauli has nothing to say to that. 

Actually, that sounds pretty good.

♥♥♥

Sauli's eyes fluttered open when he heard voices. He fell asleep pretty much the second they reached the bed.

He was still going through a jet lag. But Adam wasn’t offended, he always thought Sauli is beautiful when he sleeps. 

He might have been offended if the guy fell asleep while having sex or so. But now he just slumped on the bed and a minute later he was snoring. 

Sauli saw Adam standing in the small kitchen of their bungalow, drinking water in the light of moonlight. 

He looked like he had run for miles. 

"Adam?" Sauli called out loud, sitting up. He expected Adam to jerk around but instead he turned around quite calmly. 

"Did I wake you?"

"It's fine" Sauli whispered.

Adam walked at the bed and sat down on the edge of it. He took a gulp of his water before he put the glass on the nightstand. 

"Are you okay?" Sauli asked, dragging himself closer to Adam, "You're all sweaty" he stated, seeing droplets of sweat on Adam's temples.

"I just saw a nightmare, that's all" Adam said, "It was... Disturbing. Needed to calm down a bit" 

Sauli frowned sadly when Adam rubbed his face and fell on the bed on his back. 

Sauli thought things like this would have also changed during the years. 

"Hey?" Sauli whispered, stroking Adam's thigh. 

"My brains are just really sensitive to nightmares. They've always been" 

"You know what causes it?" Sauli asked. 

"Smallest things" Adam smiled, "Late night snack, stress, alcohol... Many things. It's nothing serious" 

Sauli laid down on top of Adam's body and pouted. He knows Adam's body reacts easily to pretty much everything but he didn't expect him to still see nightmares. 

"Honestly. No need for you to worry about me. This doesn't happen often. Maybe once in two months" Adam reassured and placed his hands on Sauli's lower back. 

"And what are they about?" Sauli asked, tracing Adam's furrowed eyebrows with a fingertip. 

"There's no certain subject. They might be about my father, about my career failing, you leaving again etc. All sort of stuff. It's occasional. I can never run away from my past, it’ll haunt me forever but I’ve learnt to live with it. It doesn’t ruin my life anymore" Adam said. 

"You're not lying to me?" Sauli asked and playfully furrowed his eyebrows. It wouldn't be the first time Adam tells lies just to reassure him. 

Adam shook his head as no.

"Okay" Sauli approved smiling and pecked Adam on the lips, "Where does that sound come from?"

Adam listened to what he meant and figured it might be a phone buzzing somewhere. 

"I think that's your phone" 

"Fuuuck" Sauli groaned, rolling out of the bed and searched for his phone that was buzzing in the pile of his clothes. 

Brian was calling. Oh Jesus, can't they be a day without him now? But Sauli has always told them to call if needed. 

But in the middle of the night? That's just weird. 

He picked up. 

"Yeah, it's Sauli. Why on Earth are you calling me now?"

Adam dived under the covers while he listened to Sauli talking. 

"The long coat. Of course. And shoes? Definitely the Newbury Suede ankle boots. .... Because those shoes go with everything. And when the round changes, the Raven Sandals"

Adam couldn't help but think how oddly hot it was when Sauli talked so confidently about something. How he knows everything about Fashion. 

"Do as you please. But _don't_ embarrass me. Okay, bye" Sauli finished and tossed his phone back on the pile of his clothes. 

He crawled to Adam and got under the covers too. 

"I've always wondered why all the fashion clothes needs to be so,,, small” Adam wondered out loud, “In size. There's no L size or so. Why?"

Sauli cocked his eyebrow at Adam because he didn't really believe he's that interested in fashion details. 

"Basically the runway clothes are that size because the models are. And the models are because they do justice to all clothes. A tall fit man or a woman can wear almost anything and it looks good. Except too short pants" 

Adam chuckled at the last sentence. 

"It's not my decision or any fashion agencies’. It's the society that changes. Marilyn Monroe in the 50's was hot. Suddenly in the 90's hot meant a walking hanger. The models starved themselves. It's sick and we know it too. But at the same time we have to think about the sales. This industry is tough and it isn’t for everyone. Not anymore" Sauli said, honestly. 

As much as he'd like to use models that aren't so skinny or so perfect in every matter, he has to. Six years ago his words weighted more when they picked the models for their agency. 

Today, it seems like he says the final word but everything else is decided for him. He hates it in a way. 

But he protects his employees with all his heart. He doesn’t let the pressure get to them, he makes sure they’re healthy. 

"Yeah, I get it" Adam said, nodding, "Of course. But I don't sing about sex or get some naked bitches shake their ass to my music videos just because that's what this industry is about nowadays. At least it seems like it. I want to be a _good_ role model" 

Sauli smiled, sort of proudly, and brushed Adam's hair off his face. 

"Because you're better than that. You're not tasteless and desperate. I admire that. I admire that you can decide what you sing about, what your music videos are about and so on” 

Adam’s look was soft when he looked into Sauli’s eyes. 

“It’s not that you can’t decide about your agency. It’s _yours_. I get that you do it for a living and think about the sales but… I know from the experience that…” Adam started, his mouth moving like he tried to look for the right words to say or he hesitated, “Living with the continuous pressure of what you should look like to be good looking… It kills you. From the inside out. I can’t imagine all the teenagers of today that feels the same. Like they should be fucking sticks to be attractive” 

Sauli heard bitterness in Adam’s tone. Hurt and anger. 

He felt guilty. 

“I know it probably touched you more when I was the victim. But still…” 

“Are you trying to tell me I don’t care about others?” Sauli asked, suddenly more angry than seconds ago, “That I do it on purpose? Make every regular sized feel bad about themselves?” 

“No” Adam said firmly, “The _whole_ industry is _sick_ ”

Sauli pursed out his lips and took a deep breath before he said anything. 

“I’d like to remind you,,, you’re talking about my job now. Has it ever crossed your mind that this is something that I love? The sickening society is not _my_ fault! I love fashion. Photographing and modeling” 

“I didn’t say it was!” Adam protested in a squealing voice, “I just said that the industry is destroying people! All the media is! Men with their gorgeous six packs and strong thighs, women with their slim waists, bouncy hairs and flawless faces. Self-esteems are non-existent among young people because of that” 

“And you know it because?” Sauli asked, sarcastic smile on his smile. 

“Because all that destroyed _me_!” Adam finished, almost yelling. He got up to a sitting position and breathed harshly.

He should remember not to get angry when the discussion gets heated.

Sauli was quiet for a moment. 

“You always said…” 

“I know what I said” Adam snapped before Sauli could finish, “I didn’t want you to feel guilty. Just… Please,,, don’t go with the flow. I don’t want you to become the person I’m afraid of. I’m not trying to make myself a victim here, I’m just telling the truth. I’m 25 and comfortable with my looks. I’ve learned to accept my flaws but there are days when I feel the same as I did when I was a teenager” 

Sauli got up too and pressed his hand on Adam’s shoulder. 

“Adam. It doesn’t matter what I do or say in my career as long as I keep you away from it. I will never let my private life get mixed with my job. Can you promise the same thing to me?” 

Adam nodded. 

“Yes” He said quietly, “The best I can. I can’t turn the paparazzi away though”

“I know” Sauli soothed, stroking Adam’s skin, “But I mean in general. Let’s keep our jobs out of our private life, right? But let’s still support each other the best we can?” 

Adam nodded again. 

“I’m sorry I yelled” 

“Don’t apologize” Sauli smiled, pressing a soft kiss on the back of Adam’s neck, “My baby has just learnt how to fight back” 

Adam chuckled. 

“Sleep now?” Sauli asked.

“Yeah” 

They settled back to laying position, spooning this time.

♥♥♥

"Why doesn't this fucker focus?!" Adam squealed, fighting with Sauli's complex camera. The tenth photo he took was still blurry.

And he doesn't even have skills to remove the photos. Well isn’t he good with this thing.

Sauli cackled and walked to him, taking the camera away from him.

"It can be difficult to take proper photos when you haven't used a camera like this before. The modes, the exposure, the focus. So many things to control. Best one to start with is the Auto mode. It determines everything for you" Sauli explained, turning the small roll on top of the camera.

Adam tried to take a photo again. He captured the scenery of the sea and the island.

It was better. A lot better.

"What mode do you use?" He asked, handing the camera to Sauli who obviously would take better photos of the lovely place they’re at. 

"Depends on what I shoot and where. But since I learnt what settings I need to change and when, I've used manual. I set the ISO, the aperture and the shutter speed" Sauli talked while doing all those, then snapped a photo of the same scenery as Adam did.

"And the same in English?" Adam chuckled, making Sauli laugh too.

Adam glanced over Sauli's shoulder to see the photo he took. His mouth went tight like a guitar string and he sort of nodded.

Okay. His photo looked like crap compared to that.

"Maybe I just leave the shooting to you"

Sauli giggled and stroked Adam's lower back soothingly.

"Now you know what I'd feel like if I sang and you're in the same room"

"Like that ever happens" Adam chuckled, "Unless you're highly drunk"

Sauli nodded, agreeing. He has sung a lot especially when he's drunk but sober? Not that much.

But Adam _probably_ wouldn't make fun of him. He doesn't make fun of Adam's photographing skills either.

“Maybe you could write odes to me. Or sing me pet songs” Adam said thoughtfully. 

Sauli just laughed, shaking his head while browsing through the photos Adam had taken with his camera. 

Adam spun around and sat on the bed, looking at Sauli.

"Sauli?"

"Mm?"

"I think it's really unfair that you have all sorts of naked photos of me but I have none of you"

Sauli cocked his eyebrow and gave Adam a brief glance.

"The whole internet is full of photos of me half naked"

"It's not the same thing" Adam pouted, staring at the water he could see through the small part of the floor that was glass, "Everyone else can see them too"

Sauli chuckled, amused. Adam has never made such a big deal out of it. 

"Are you trying to hint me something?"

Adam looked at him under his brows.

"Can I just try? You know,,, a few photos?"

Sauli sighed, putting his camera on the counter and walked to Adam. He sat on the bed next to him and looked into his pleading eyes.

"It's not like I'm going to say no" Sauli smiled, "Just,,, tell me what to do"

Adam grinned and pecked Sauli on the cheek before he got down from the bed and went to his bag.

"You've done my make-up more than once. Let me show you how I do mine" Adam said, pulling a small bag out of his suitcase.

Sauli didn't say anything, just watched Adam curiously.

All Adam took out of the small bag was an eyeliner. Sauli smirked.

"Sit right there" Adam commanded playfully and stood before Sauli.

And his crotch wasn't right at Sauli's face all tempting at all.

"Is this how you feel when I do your make-up?" Sauli asked, staring at the lump in Adam's pants, "Like,,, wanting to suck the life out of ..."

"Sush!" Adam laughed, "I'm trying to concentrate. But no, not anymore, I'm used to it. But when you did my make-up for the first time,,, I thought my boner was going to tear my pants"

Sauli grinned, glancing up at Adam.

Oh those were fun times. It was so exciting to watch every single movement of each other.

Adam cradled Sauli's head when he started applying the black eyeliner on his eyelid.

Sauli wanted to smile. The need to smile was tugging the sides of his mouth. He didn’t even really know what was so nice he had the urge to smile. 

"Stay still" Adam murmured, focused on his task.

"I might need to hold on to you" Sauli said, reaching out to grab onto the back of Adam's thighs. His fingers might be touching Adam's ass.

"Do I ever do that to you?" Adam asked, pulling away and looked at Sauli firmly but still happy Sauli had to touch him all the time. Sauli just gazed at him like an innocent puppy.

"No. That doesn't mean I won't do it" he beamed.

Adam hissed and put the eyeliner down on the bed and started smudging the black on Sauli's eyelid with a fingertip.

Sauli wanted to open his eyes. Wanted to see the focused face Adam had on.

It didn't take very long until Adam was done.

"That's it?"

"Yes" Adam said proudly, "Why should I spend 30 minutes to that?"

Sauli just shrugged. 

Maybe he just expected it to take longer. 

Adam turned around and eyed their bungalow while Sauli eyed his ass. Of for fuck’s sake, he should get some kind of grip. 

Not _that_ kind of grip. He just seems to crave Adam’s ass and it’s really not at all healthy anymore. 

He doesn’t have any problems with Adam topping. The sex they had in the morning was the best morning sex he had ever had.

Just feeling Adam’s cock enter him, all hard and big and… 

“Just get there against the wall”

Sauli snapped out of his thoughts and obeyed. He made his way against the wall where Adam wanted him. 

Adam grabbed Sauli’s camera and stood before Sauli. 

His eyebrows were furrowed when he was trying to remember what Sauli had said earlier about the settings. 

Sauli had decided to stay quiet. 

Then Adam made this quiet ‘Ha!’ sound and started doing something with the settings. The tip of his tongue was peeking out of his mouth. 

Sauli thought he looked adorable. 

But the settings of his camera might be a mess after this small photo shoot session. 

“I think I got them the way I want” Adam said then and brought the camera up, looking at Sauli through the lenses, “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say” 

“Oh please” Sauli said, sighing, “You know how to talk dirty”

Adam cocked his eyebrow. 

“Is that how you teach people to photograph? Tell them to talk dirty?” 

“Well it’s you” 

Adam gasped, dropping his camera hand to his side. 

“I am serious about this! This is not foreplay!” He squealed. 

“Okay, okay” Sauli reassured, laughing. He kind of thought it was, really, “First of all, you’re way too close to me. Secondly, _don’t_ hold it with only one hand” He said, suddenly serious. 

His tone made Adam’s cock curious. Oh to hear that tone in bed… Adam bit his lip, closing his eyes. 

Sauli looked at him amused. 

“Uhm… Adam? Earth calling”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay” Adam said, taking in the advice and took a few steps backwards and this time held the camera with both of his hands. 

Without any warning, he snapped a picture the second Sauli had managed to do some sort of pose. 

“Thirdly, reduce the flash brightness for God’s sake!” Sauli squealed, the flash still visible in his vision every time he blinked. 

“Sorry!” Adam said terrified. He did as Sauli said and reduced the flash. 

This might be a long session after all. 

“I’ll just use my phone for the rest of the photos” Adam said, putting Sauli’s camera down carefully. 

Sauli nodded in agreement.

♥♥♥

**Back in LA....**

 

Adam helped Sauli to carry his luggage inside. He had insisted to do it even though Sauli only had one bag with him.

"So..." Sauli started after Adam had let his bag down, "You'll stay over?" He asked, his arms going over Adam's shoulders. 

"My stuff is in the cab" Adam said, placing his hands on Sauli's hips, "Besides, what would we even do?" he asked murmuring.

Sauli furrowed his eyebrows and nodded as if he was wondering the same thing. 

"You're right. We'd be so bored together" He joked with a serious face, "Just go home. You’d be having much more fun without me”

Adam chuckled, gesturing the cab driver to carry his luggage inside too.

Sauli beamed happily.

“Oh you’re right. Having sex with my own hand sounds way more tempting than having sex with you” Adam said seriously. 

“Oh, you’re thinking we’ll have sex?” 

"I think I throw up a little in my mouth every time I’m watching you two" Tommy said when he approached them, carrying Fluffie, “But now hearing _that_ made it all worse” 

Luckily Adam and Sauli both know Tommy’s sense of humor. And Sauli is relieved Tommy isn’t watching him like a bug to kill anymore. 

“I appreciate you got me something to do since I’m not working in Sunny Stars anymore and Adam doesn’t have any new tunes yet” Tommy said and let Fluffie down on the floor, “And your dog’s kinda cool”

Fluffie went to Sauli right away but was waving his tail at Adam too. 

“Am I an idiot if I don’t know was that sarcasm or not” Sauli said to Tommy while scratching Fluffie. 

“It was true” Tommy said then, “Just let me go home now so I don’t have to listen to any more of your lovey dovey sex talk or whatever it is. And I am not going to ask how was your trip because I don’t wanna hear how all the other St. Regis visitors didn’t get any sleep because you” 

Sauli and Adam laughed.

“We like you too, Tommy” Adam said.

Tommy tapped Adam on the shoulder, smiling.

“Trust me, I know that, Babyboy” He said and put on his shoes. 

Adam rolled his eyes, laughing. He’s glad he’s made hell of a good friend out of Tommy. 

Tommy grabbed his jacket and was almost out of the house before he turned back around. 

“Oh, and I took Fluffie out earlier. So feel free to have any sort of homecoming s…”

“Bye, Tommy” Sauli said, waving at him. 

Tommy just laughed mischievously and got out of the house. 

Adam was shaking his head at his friend, laughing. 

He grew serious when Sauli tugged on his belt loop and pulled him closer. 

“About what we talked about in Bora Bora…” Sauli started, his heart almost breaking his ribcage, “You know, about you… Maybe…” 

Adam smiled softly, knowing what Sauli was talking about because of his stuttering which he never does. 

“Just because I’m not that shy and vulnerable as I was before doesn’t mean I’d want to intimidate you somehow”

“You’re not intimidating me” Sauli insisted, “I just… I don’t want to scare you away or anything. I totally get that you’re…”

He was muted with a soft kiss. 

“Don’t finish that sentence. If I was smaller in size I’d ask you to carry me to the bedroom and fuck me against the mattress so hard I feel it tomorrow in the interview” 

Sauli grinned at the carrying part but his crotch was focusing on the last part of the sentence. 

“I can carry you” 

“No” Adam said right away, giggling, “I can walk, thank you” He said smiling and started pulling Sauli towards the bedroom. 

It was ridiculous how incredibly nervous they both felt even though, surprisingly, only Sauli was showing it. 

Adam was taking steps backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed. Sauli pushed him down on it and spread his legs, settling between them.

Sauli attacked Adam’s neck, gently sucking on the thin and sensitive skin. Adam dipped his head back, closing his eyes and let himself enjoy it. 

Sauli’s hand travelled from Adam’s hip along his thigh to his knee and he hooked the leg around his waist. 

Even with all the clothes on, his skin was burning. 

Adam soon cupped his face and pulled him off his neck no matter how good he felt, and looked at Sauli in the eyes with the softest of looks. 

“Be gentle…” 

“Always” 

_To be continued…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have sort of a big psychology portfolio going on so sorryyy for the shortish chapter.


	7. Big baby steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Long_ , silly, a bit boring (?).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the loooong wait. I'm so sorry, this will never happen again. I was so lost in writing my other fics ._.

“But that doesn't mean you should treat me like glass" Adam said, " _Fuck me_. Hard"

If Sauli was a teenager, he would have creamed his pants right now.

"As you wish" Sauli replied, attacking Adam's neck with his mouth again. He has this pleasure spot near his ear. Makes him shudder and gasp every time Sauli sucks or licks him there.

Adam closed his eyes and grasped on Sauli's hair. He wasn't afraid to push his head lower towards his chest.

Not a little bit shy to show where he wants to be stimulated. Touched. Or sucked. Sauli sat on his hips and pulled Adam to a sitting position too so he could remove his shirt out of the way. 

Sauli threw it away, not focusing where and after that took off his own. He then pushed Adam back down against the mattress and straddled his other thigh then continued where he left; licking his neck and went willingly lower. 

He stopped at Adam’s left nipple, starting to flicker his tongue around it. 

Adam hummed, dipping his head back and held Sauli’s head close by the back of his neck. He’s a bit possessive even when he’s taking the submissive part but Sauli actually loves that. 

Adam loosened his hold and let Sauli do whatever he wanted. Sauli didn’t move at first, he kept earning gasps from Adam’s mouth by licking and touching his nipples. But he dropped his hand down, cupping Adam’s package. 

Adam let out a surprised gasp. 

Sauli kissed Adam’s nipple once more before he kissed his way back up and captured the waiting lips into a kiss. He started moving his hand between Adam’s legs, rubbing circles on the bulge. 

Adam shuddered, pushing his hips up to press himself more firmly against the hand. His moans were muffled by their kiss.

He dropped his hands down and fumbled Sauli’s pants open, pushing his hand inside and wrapped his fingers around the hard length. 

Sauli’s mouth went slack and he gave a firm squeeze to Adam’s package. Adam grunted. 

Sauli’s hands were trembling when he tried to unbuckle Adam’s belt. Oh fuck, one of _those_ belts again… 

“Can you not please wear these?” Sauli asked frustrated. 

Adam chuckled and made quick work with his belt. He moved his hands out of the way as soon as he was done and got back to groping Sauli's length.

Sauli unzipped Adam's pants and pushed his hand inside the jeans. He pulled Adam's cock out of his pants and wrapped his fingers around the shaft.

Sauli pushed their lips together. The coordination of their rubbing wasn't the best possible while they were kissing but they didn't really care.

All they cared about was that they had each other's hands on their cocks while kissing.

Sauli opened his mouth and let Adam's tongue enter his mouth. He couldn't help a small moan when Adam swirled his tongue around his.

He has always thought Adam as a good kisser. Since he kissed him for the first time.

The sounds Sauli makes turn Adam on so much. Adam loves hearing how Sauli moans or groans in pleasure caused by him.

Sauli pulled away to breathe. He panted, opening his eyes and looked at Adam's swollen, rosy lips.

Oh those god damn lips. Sauli traced his tongue across them and nipped at the lower lip.

Adam whined, bucking into the hand that had suddenly stopped on his cock. He placed his hand on top of Sauli's, setting the speed again.

Sauli decided he can't wait any longer. It wasn't just lust, he wanted to be inside the man he loves. It's been too long since he've done it.

He let go of Adam's cock, gently tapping Adam's hand on him so he'd remove it as well.

Finally, they're getting naked, Adam thought and eagerly lift his hips as Sauli stripped off his jeans along with his briefs.

Sauli got out of his own pants and sat between Adam's bent legs.

"Lube?"

"In the top drawer"

Sauli stretched himself on the bed and reached out to take the lube from the said drawer. Adam was slowly stroking himself while waiting.

After Sauli settled back between Adam's legs, he slapped Adam's hand off his cock with a playful growl and spurted some lube on his fingers.

Adam spread his legs wider and hissed when he felt the cold substance against his hole.

"Slowly... No one has fingered me in years. I want to enjoy it..." 

 

When Adam was horny enough he always gets the urge to push Sauli down against the mattress and fuck him.

He knows Sauli would have let him. But he also wanted Sauli to have what he wanted the most tonight and he was more than happy to give it.

To be honest, he really doesn't enjoy bottoming with anyone else but Sauli. Maybe it's the secure feeling he gets with him.

And the love. He can trust in Sauli, as cliché as it may sound.

Sauli enjoyed seeing Adam writhe on his fingers every time he hit the sweet spot. But now it was time for the real thing.

Sauli assumed the condoms are in the top drawer as well so he reached out to take one.

He tore the paper off. He squeezed the air out of the tip and rolled the condom on his cock.

He lubed himself up and bit his lip, staring at Adam like he was thinking of something.

"Hey" Adam said, spreading his legs wider to present himself, "I'm waiting"

"Holy shit" Sauli wheezed out, "Could you... I mean... I'd want to... You know... From behind..."

Adam smiled.

"If you want to" He said and rolled over on his stomach. He placed a pillow under his hips so his ass was nicely presented and at the perfect height.

"I'm on it already. What are you waiting?" He teased, swaying his perfectly plump ass a little, "Come on"

Sauli chuckled. He settled above Adam, his cock hovering over his ass.

Sauli planted a row of kisses on Adam's shoulders while guiding his cock inside the waiting heat.

Adam grasped the sheets, his mouth going slack. It's been so long... The stretch he feels reminds him about the first time with Sauli.

Sauli was right behind him and he could hear and feel the fast breath that matched his own. Sauli gave a lick to his ear.

"You ready?"

"As ready as I can be"

Sauli pushed deeper in before pulling back. And back in. The first thrusts were slow like always. And since Adam hasn't bottomed in years, it's good.

Sauli caressed Adam's ass when he tested the waters and pushed deeper. He heard Adam's breath hitch and the grip he had on the sheets tightened.

He was balls deep inside. He stopped moving again and mouthed the back of Adam's neck, whispering his name and how much he loves him.

The tension left Adam's body immediately. Feeling the loosing, Sauli started thrusting again. He gave slow but deep thrusts, pulling out almost completely and then back in.

Adam couldn't see Sauli but he could imagine his face. He always closes his eyes even when he tries to keep them open.

He gets so lost in the pleasure.

Adam's cock was crushed agains the pillow he had under him. He was desperate for a touch, the building pressure felt overwhelming.

But he kind of liked the ache.

Sauli opened his eyes and looked down, watching as his cock sank between Adam's cheeks. It was one of the hottest things he has yet seen.

"Can you... Can I get on all fours? I need to touch myself..." Adam asked, his voice lowered by his arousal.

Sauli threw the pillow Adam had under him away and pulled his hips up. Well this position made Adam blush.

He's not used to it.

Sauli reached beneath Adam and wrapped his fingers around his aching and leaking cock. He stroked him slowly because he didn't want him to get there just yet. He just eased the pressure.

Sauli started thrusting faster, his cock nudging Adam's prostate quite hard every time he pushed in.

Adam was gasping shamelessly. He knows nothing gets Sauli hotter than hearing the noises he makes. He feels the same way about Sauli.

Sauli was almost out of breath and the muscles in his arms were trembling. He has a good stamina but damn, maybe Adam can work for a change. 

“Can you ride me?” Sauli whispered into Adam’s ear. 

“Fuck yes” 

Sauli pulled his cock out and laid on the bed. Sweat was glistening on his skin. 

Adam smirked, holding Sauli’s cock still and lowered himself on it. Sauli felt bigger this way. 

Sauli grasped on Adam's fleshy thighs and groaned as the hot tightness hugged his dick once again. 

Adam straightened his back and smiled smugly, starting to roll his hips.

Holy fuck, Sauli thought. Such a perfect tight hole. He's so glad he's the only one who has ever had it.

Adam started bouncing a bit with hip rolls.

Sauli muttered a row of curse words out loud, squeezing Adam's skin. 

"You like that?" Adam asked, rolling his hips just the way Sauli liked it. 

Sauli just nodded frantically, not able to talk. Adam just changes when he gets to the more dominant position. Like this, he’s in control of everything. 

He threw his head back, moaning quietly when Sauli’s cock angled perfectly and brushed his prostate. 

Oh my, he’s gorgeous, Sauli thought while staring at Adam riding his cock. Sauli started to thrust too, pushing his hips up on every down-thrust. He felt himself sink into Adam more powerfully. 

Adam felt it too. It made him groan. 

He opened his eyes, glancing down at Sauli’s face. Sauli gave him a smile. A smile that told way more than Sauli could have put into words right now. 

Adam smiled back, keeping up the bouncing. 

Eventually, Sauli’s eyes drifted down to Adam’s hard cock. He almost salivated at the sight. It was prominent against Adam’s stomach, flushed and really fucking big. Bouncing with his thrust. 

Sauli felt the heat coil somewhere in his belly, somewhere behind his balls. He was getting close. 

“I want to throw your legs around me and fuck you when I come” 

Adam nodded, feeling somewhat out of breath. He pulled himself off and Sauli flipped him against the mattress again. 

He didn’t waste a second to thrust inside. Adam was loose by now so it didn’t require any guiding. 

He grabbed Adam’s long, smooth and gorgeous legs, throwing them around his waist. 

Their faces were so close together they smelled each other’s breath. Almost tasted it. 

Adam tangled his fingers into Sauli’s hair and pushed their lips together. The kiss was messy and wet, nothing like those sweet kisses they share but right now it felt perfect. 

Adam arched his back, pressing his wet cock against Sauli’s stomach. He got the necessary friction this way, he was so close. 

“Oh I’m close, I’m close…” He panted, squeezing Sauli’s body with his strong legs. 

“Me too… Fuck, Adam…” 

“Isn’t that what you do?” Adam asked, smiling. Sauli chuckled, suddenly so happy they were able to joke during sex. It tells more about their intimacy and the bond they share. 

Sauli came, moaning shamelessly and repeating Adam’s name as he shot inside the condom and the beautiful feeling spread across his body. 

Adam yanked on Sauli’s hair, coming right after. He shuddered as his cock pulsed and cum splattered on their bodies. 

On his softening cock the tightening of Adam’s hole was almost too much and it made Sauli’s whole body jerk. 

Adam’s legs fell open and his grip on Sauli’s hair loosened. Sauli pulled away, rolled off the condom and tossed it. 

Then he lay on top of Adam, the feeling of cooling cum on his skin forgotten. 

No words needed, he just kissed Adam’s lips before a satisfied smile spread on his face and he pressed his head against the crook of Adam’s neck. 

Adam smiled too, stroking Sauli’s hair.

♥♥♥

Sauli heard Adam sigh. Loudly. It was that sort of sigh he doesn't like hearing.

It means he's either mad or very stressed.

Or both. Which really isn't good at all because then he'll be a bitch the whole day without really wanting or meaning to be.

And since he let his head hit the table, he must be deep down in the feeling. Whatever that feeling is.

"Is something wrong?" Sauli asked, walking up behind Adam and started to rub his tensed shoulders.

"No" Came the answer, "But- Oh that feels good"

"It's meant to" Sauli smiled, "You made _that_ sigh. What's wrong?"

Adam just shook his head as if to tell there was nothing for him to say.

"It's just these lyrics I've been working on lately. Look at this, it's all so angsty" He said and held his ipad up so Sauli could take it.

He missed Sauli's rubbing the second he let go of his shoulders and took the ipad into his hands. 

Sauli read the lyrics through.

"But these aren't bad. A bit moody but not bad at all" He said immediately, "Can I ask who inspired you?"

Adam sighed, taking the ipad from Sauli.

"An unhealthy relationship"

Sauli's heart sank a little. 

"Not you though" Adam added right away and turned around on his chair, "You're a happy place" He smiled, wrapping his arms loosely around Sauli's small waist.

"Good" Sauli beamed, gazing into Adam’s eyes. 

Adam let go when Sauli's phone rang. Sauli moved aside to pick up and Adam kept pondering his lyrics.

Hmph. There's some word missing. Something that would add some great spice into it.

"You kidding me?! What'd you mean I'm not suitable? Do you even know who I am?"

Adam's head popped up. Well hell, there's a small diva living in Sauli after all. It made him chuckle.

Choke. Suffocate. Asphyxiate.

Nice words, he thought. Big long words. 

He raised his eyes from his ipad when Sauli sat on the arm chair, next to Adam’s working table, and pouted.

"They said I'm too short to walk on the runway"

"What? Since when that has bothered anyone?" Adam asked, confused. Sauli's been one of the greatest runway models since he has known him.

No one has ever turned him down. Usually the ones who put the shows up call and ask the models but Sauli thought he might as well call himself. 

"Probably since I turned 25. I'm not getting any younger you know" Sauli said.

"That has nothing to do with your height" Adam said then, turning off his ipad. He can work on his lyrics later because this seems much more important.

And he already has a few songs ready so he can work them in the studio. 

Sauli gave him an odd look.

"Well, criticizing my height is the neat way of saying 'you're too old'. That's what some of them do. Some of them are cruel and blunt and say exactly what they think" Sauli mumbled, resting his head against his hands.

"I always thought nothing they say can bring you down"

Sauli huffed. Like Adam's statement was totally ridiculous.

"I have feelings" Sauli stated softly, "And you’re right, I don’t take them too personally. But I also know how things work. It's not like I don't know I'm 27 _and_ short. I should retire. Only stay behind the camera you know"

It was Adam’s turn to give Sauli a look.

"You're not old"

"But I'm short" Sauli whined, "And I really, really wanted my agency to take a part of that show. But now they turned me down and I don't know who else could do it. It’s so… Big. The show, I mean. I can’t send just anyone there"

Adam so knew what Sauli was going to say to him next. He was going to beg for him to do it. He could tell it by the ways of Sauli's eyes looked at him. Pleading and begging.

"Oh no, no, no" He said right away, "I don't work in Sunny Stars anymore. I would only steal someone else’s opportunity, just like you said to me about a month ago. Nope, no, forget it” he rushed out and turned his chair so he could face his laptop that was also on. He was waiting for Brian to come on Skype. 

“But Adaaaaam” Sauli pleaded, getting up from the arm chair and stood behind Adam’s chair. He leaned down to hug him, “You wouldn’t be stealing opportunities because no one has them for this particular show. Please. Just this once” 

Adam rolled his eyes, small smile tugging his lips. He has to admit Sauli’s whining makes him feel special. He has an agency full of models and Adam has drifted away from the Fashion industry years ago. 

Sauli’s fingers appeared on the lower part of his scalp, massaging the tension there. Damn Sauli and his magical fingers. 

“Sauli, you got to understand that things aren’t like they used to- Oh Jesus, right there”

“Of course they aren’t” Sauli agreed, his fingers rubbing firmly on the back of Adam’s neck, “You don’t have to do it if you really feel like you don’t want to. I sort of understand you. I wouldn’t, for example, make an appearance to one of your music videos. Not because it would be boring or stupid but because it’s your thing. Not mine. I don’t work for you. You’re my boyfriend”

Adam smiled in relief. 

“How come you read my mind again?” He asked, “That’s exactly how I feel. Fashion is interesting and I love dressing up and putting makeup on and stuff but I don’t work in that industry. And I don’t want people to think that I’m somehow trying to,,, take advantage of you. Make myself more famous. If you really don’t get anyone else then I can do it. Not that I’d feel passion for it but I want to help you. I don’t wanna leave you in trouble. But the photoshoots though,,, I can do them. Whenever you want” 

Sauli leaned down again and kissed Adam’s temple. Adam smiled at the contact and held onto Sauli’s arms which were now around his shoulders. 

“Thank you, baby” Sauli murmured, “I can sleep during the nights now. If you ever need me, in anything, I’ll be there. Okay?” 

Adam turned his head so he could meet Sauli’s eyes. 

“Okay” He said and pecked Sauli briefly on the lips, “But you’re doing so much when you just be. I don’t think I’ve ever had this much inspiration than I do now. And you’re not even doing anything specific” 

“Aww” Sauli cooed, planting a few kisses on Adam’s hair, “I’m glad I can help you”

♥♥♥

Adam woke up feeling oddly blissful. He reached towards Sauli's side of the bed but frowned when all he could feel was mattress.

Oh right. Sauli has work to do today so he has probably woken up already.

After his regular morning routine, he put on his briefs and went downstairs. He inhaled the scent of coffee coming from the kitchen. So Sauli was still there.

Adam walked behind him and wrapped his arms around him and touched the firm abs, kissing the side of his neck

"Morning" He murmured.

Sauli smiled and kept slicing the fruits for his salad even though the hands on him and the morning wood poking his ass were disturbing him. 

"Morning" He replied.

Adam span around to get his coffee mug from the cabinet. He frowned at how many mugs there were. Always when Sauli stays with him, the dishes are always done and put in the cabinets. 

He knows by now that Sauli can’t stand it when he leaves his clothes all over the house, leaves the dishes unwashed etc. 

"You know Fluffie's been alone the night. I should head home after work to see how he’s doing. He has food and he can use the dog door but still"

Adam took his mug out of the cabinet and turned back around to see Sauli who was now looking at him.

"Sure. But I'm gonna see you tomorrow right?"

"Of course" Sauli said and stepped closer to Adam, throwing his arms over his shoulders, "Or you could drive me to work since I have no car here and pick me up when my day ends and come with me to my place"

Adam placed his hands on Sauli's hips and gazed down into his eyes, trying to think if he had anywhere to go today or tomorrow.

Nope. He doesn't. Even if he did, it's not like they live in different states.

"Okay. I can do that" Adam smiled and kissed Sauli's forehead, "If you make me breakfast"

"Already did. So put down your mug" Sauli started out and took the cup out of Adam's hands and placed it on the kitchen counter, "Check the dining room" he said.

Adam gave him a look and made his way to the dining room. He saw a cup of coffee, healthy breakfast made of chicken eggs and vegetables, and a glass of homemade juice.

"Aw. Thank you"

"You're welcome" Sauli beamed, "We have 45 minutes until we have to leave. So no rush" He said and sat across Adam at the table with his own breakfast. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to scroll through his emails.

Adam sank his fork to his food and watched Sauli's face turn from tired but happy to wide eyed surprise.

"Adam? Why is my email full of questions about Adam Lambert and why has everyone from Finland’s media connected me?"

Oh. That.

"I uhm,,, kinda said to Perez Hilton that I'm _possibly_ dating someone... And some photos of us have leaked. The jet ski Bora Bora photos, you know" Adam said and scratched the back of his head.

For a moment he thought Sauli looked a bit mad. And disappointed. And everything else that was possibly negative but then he started laughing. 

“Why do you look like you just saw a ghost?” He asked Adam, “Adam, relax. You told him we’re dating. Well aren’t we?” 

“Well, y-yeah but… I-I just didn’t know should I say anything because I’m pretty sure that now everyone knows it’s you. I know how you feel about talking our relationship i-in public” Adam said and tried to hide behind his mug. 

He’s stuttering. How cute is that, Sauli thought. He rarely does that anymore. 

“It’s not like you told him what our daily routines are or how often we have sex and where. It doesn’t bother me that people know we’re dating again” Sauli reassured in a soothing voice, “Because I know we both know where the line goes. What things we should not tell. Or what we don’t even want to tell” 

Adam nodded, agreeing. He actually thought Sauli might get mad. 

“You know… People will ask you about me. About us. My fans can be not so nice when it comes to my private life. Most of them are awesome though. I just don’t want you to…”

“Get scared and run away? Really, Adam? I’ve been famous for like 12 years now. I think I can handle it” 

“Well, yes but it’s different now”

Sauli sighed, getting up from his chair and instead sat on Adam’s lap. 

“Yes. I know. But as long as I can have my own time too, I’ll be fine with the paparazzi and curious reporters”

Adam let his head hit Sauli’s shoulder and he hugged the small body like he couldn’t see tomorrow. 

“I still don’t get what I did to deserve a person like you in my life in the first place”

“No” Sauli whispered right away, “I don’t understand what _I_ did to deserve you. Again” 

Adam raised his head and stared into Sauli’s bright blue eyes. 

“So we’re square then?” 

Sauli chuckled and kissed the tip of Adam’s nose. 

“I guess so. But now eat” He said then and got down from Adam’s lap and returned to his own chair, “Or I’ll be late. Oh and I want to do some charity for the found animals foundation. I promised that I will photograph the dogs and cats for the campaign and I was wondering if you would like to come with me?” 

“Today?” 

“Tomorrow. Today I have so much other things to do. But today I would like to get my most important ones to the gallery. Is there any way you could strike a few poses with Fluffie?” Sauli asked, hating to admit that he was actually nervous about Adam’s answer even though Adam said he’ll does photo shoots whenever Sauli asks. 

Adam’s eyes lit up a bit at the ‘most important ones’ part. Of course he knew that he plays a big part in Sauli’s life but it was nice to hear. How could he even say no?

Adam smiled at Sauli. 

“Sure. No problem. In your place or…?” 

“I was thinking about a beach. You remember that beach behind the hills and forest? The one where you did the perfume photo shoot with me years ago?”

Oh. _Oh_. Adam remembers that. Oh to be young and inexperienced again. He had never been so aroused as he was then. Until that day of course… 

He still remembers the warmth that swept across his body when Sauli had brushed his belt buckle, saying something about wanting to find out if he has freckles everywhere. 

Adam got a little lost in the thought and Sauli had to snap his fingers. 

“Hey? Do you? Or does it bring up too many bad memories?” 

“No. It’s the only time I’ve been on that beach… And even though I was going through so much back then I… I don’t think that beach has any bad memories in it. Vice Versa” 

It was the real beginning of something beautiful;

Fulfilling, healing and intimate relationship.

♥♥♥

Sauli decided to do Adam's makeup at the beach to save some time. Fluffie was lying in the shadow while Sauli worked on Adam's face.

Adam has always adored the transformation from makeup free face to the ready makeup. He kind of thinks it's like a mask. Without it he's more vulnerable.

But at the same time it's a way to bring up the best facial features.

"Always study your face before doing and especially buying anything" Sauli reminded, "Most of the people just go to the store, buy the shade that looks good on the outer palm of the hand or the one that they want. Makes me want to punch them"

Adam chuckled. Guilty, he thought. Sometimes covering his freckles is a pain in the ass and he just ends up using a darker shade or tone.

"I'm just doing the base now. No other makeup is necessary because I want you to have a natural look" Sauli smiled and put his brushes down. He squinted his eyes at the shining sun and whistled Fluffie to them.

Fluffie ran to him enthusiastically. Even though he's already 7, he's still so energetic and healthy.

Adam was wearing a top and shorts so he probably gets a few scratches during the photo shoot but. As long as Fluffie's careful with his thighs. Some of the scars followed by the deepest cuts are still sensitive. Sauli has noticed that because Adam always pushes Fluffie’s paws off the area even when he’s wearing jeans. 

Well... Not that the dog really has that kind of common sense.

Sauli reached out to take his camera and set the ISO and the shutting speed. Shooting in the daylight can be wonderful or a total bitch.

While he was setting his camera he heard Adam's ridiculous babbling to Fluffie. It made him smile.

Adam lift Fluffie in his arms and pursed out his lips like he was about to kiss him. He moved away every time Fluffie tried to lick him though. 

He ended up hugging the dog gently.

"Keep him like that" Sauli said and sat a little further away from Adam to get them both properly in the picture.

Sauli loved the way Adam had to squint his eyes at the sun. It made the photo look more natural and not too planned.

He didn't want a photo shoot quality, he wanted more like,,, family photos. If he can call them that.

"You could go stand on the sand and throw him a stick" Sauli suggested and pointed the area where he wanted them.

"Sure"

Adam grabbed the stick from the ground and walked to the sand. It was warm underneath his bare feet.

Sauli stood up too but kept the distance. He didn't give any orders so the photos could be as real as possible. He just snapped photos every now and then when Adam kept throwing the stick and Fluffie kept returning it.

After getting enough photos, Sauli sat on the ground and put his camera into his bag. He kept watching Adam play with Fluffie.

Fluffie never liked anyone Sauli brought home but he always loved Adam. It's was totally like Something About Mary.

Sauli started laughing.

Adam saw Sauli was just sitting and looking at him so he whistled Fluffie and made his way to his boyfriend.

He sat down next to him and brushed the sand that has gotten stuck to his sweaty skin off.

"You got a few scratches" Sauli said, touching the inner side of Adam's forearm.

"A few" Adam admitted, "But who doesn't when playing with dogs?"

"True" Sauli smiled and stroked his thumb over the scratch. He moved his attention from there to Adam's shoulder, "Your skin is all red"

"Really?" Adam asked, kind of surprised because he put tons of sun lotion on his shoulders. He tried to see his shoulder himself, "Sun burns suck. They get all dry and sore and ugh. Just what did I ever do to deserve the genes of a redhead?"

Sauli chuckled, kissing Adam's shoulder lovingly.

"Let's move to shadow where Fluffie is too. I don't want you to burn"

They got up and slumped on the grass in the shadow.

"You know I've never seen you with red hair. Except in pictures"

"Don't push me" Adam warned, "And how is it that you always get all brown when you're in the sun?"

Sauli wiggled his eyebrows.

"No redhead genes"

"I hate you"

"No you don't" Sauli beamed and pushed Adam down on his back on the grass and sat on his pelvis, "You like me"

"I like the way your ass is pressed against my crotch"

Sauli bounced a little.

Adam let out a noise which was a combination of groan and moan, and stopped Sauli's movements.

"You're abusing my balls"

Sauli cackled and spread himself on top of Adam, feet against feet and chest against chest. He traced Adam's eyebrows with a fingertip.

"How can you be so beautiful?"

Adam gave Sauli a look that said he's awkward when he tells compliments.

Sauli knows it. That's why he wants to say them out loud. People should be able to take the compliments in.

"And your body" Sauli whispered, his hands going under Adam's shirt to caress his sides.

It made Adam squirmy for two reasons: He's ticklish and damn, he doesn't really enjoy the slow touches on his abdomen. Not since he gained some weight after his most recent rehab followed by his latest relapse.

"Sauli..." He said firmly.

"Adam" Sauli smiled, "You shouldn't do that with me"

"I know. But I can't help it"

"Hide yourself from the world for God's sake but you have no reason to hide from me" Sauli said, his fingers pressing against the skin beneath them, "I've seen all of you anyway"

Adam smiled sheepishly. Well yes but still. It's not like he gets rid of his shyness completely. It's part of his temperament.

Sauli kissed off his shy smile.

"Let's go. We need to take Fluffie home and I need to go to the agency. I have a lot of paper work to do" He said and got up.

"Okay" Adam agreed and got up himself too, "While you're at work I go do a few things too"

♥♥♥

Sauli had a meeting back at the agency. He sat on the right side of the long table while some freaking guy who acted like he was the freaking Guccio Gucci was talking about the XXS and XS clothes that should replace the size S on the runway.

Sauli wasn't really interested. He kept playing with his pen and the noise it caused disturbed the other people. 

Sauli’s mind was elsewhere. He was thinking of Adam. Maybe he thought of Adam just smiling at him across the table when they’re having lunch, sleeping like a baby on top of the covers or spread out on the bed waiting to be fucked or Sauli himself lying on the bed waiting to be fucked by Adam. 

Oh geez, he should get a grip. It’s not the first time he’d miss important things because his mind wanders. Sauli wasn’t focused on the Gucci guy. 

Until the guy brought a girl in to the room. She had a fine hair up in a messy bun, she was about 5ft4in tall and her face was pale.

She looked just so fragile. And Sauli knew the words Gucci was about to say would hurt her forever. 

Sauli was squeezing the pen in his hand so hard his knuckles turned white.

"I hire her" He said, making everyone in the room gasp and look at him like he was crazy, "You heard me. And before you even say anything I'd like Brooke to take her down to my office to wait"

Brooke gave him a smile and got up from her chair, leading the girl out of the room.

The Gucci guy was giving Sauli dirty looks.

Sauli just smiled at him satisfied.

"She had a very beautiful face"

"She was short!"

"And so? I use her in the makeup commercials. I don't think Sutan will mind if his model is short. Besides, don't you feel a bit shamed to create a picture of perfectness into your head and when someone doesn't have _one_ quality, they're useless"

Gucci was about so say something but kept shut.

"I get that each of you do what feels the best. But personally, I could never hire a model who's 'oh-so-perfect' but their personality lacks everything positive. So excuse me ladies," Sauli said and got up from his chair, "And gentlemen. I have a boyfriend, yes you heard me, and he's gorgeous, he's beautiful inside out and he'd have all the reasons to feel confident but he doesn't. Because of people like you"

Sauli walked to the door and turned back around.

"Oh and I've never considered changing him to one of those machos, disgusting sixpack guys, who think everyone will love them because of their look. They’re usually the ones who’re total dicks. I never really admired the stereotypical perfection anyway. My man is perfect to me the way he is. And that girl could be just what Sutan needs for his new makeup brand. I can’t believe you were ready to destroy her with your words" With those words he left the meeting room, feeling maybe more proud than he should.

Luckily he can't be fired from his own agency. Maybe...

He made his way to his office and signed the contract with the girl. He told her she'd mostly work with Sutan whose office and studio are one floor lower than Sauli's office.

After that he made his way to Brian who was printing the photos Sauli took of Adam and Fluffie earlier. He checked them and told Brian what sizes he needs.

Oh crap, he has paper work to do as well. Suddenly he remembers why he needed a nerve break after all. But luckily just the thought of returning home with Adam kept him sane.

Sauli returned to his office and went to his storage room.

"Wow" he said, not in a positive matter, when he saw the mess in the room. All the boxes and folders were all over the floor and the shelves as well.

Fortunately he always wrote which photos and other papers are in which box or folder.

He sat on the floor and started browsing the lowest shelf level.

'Lambert, Adam. Photoshoot 01 - Animal print jeans"

Aw. Adam's first photos. Sauli smiled and put the folder aside. If he'd check all the old photos of Adam through, he'd sit here until tomorrow morning. Or longer.

♥♥♥

Sauli's work day was pretty normal excluding the meeting. Nothing special happened so he was more than glad to get back home with Adam.

Adam picked him up from the agency and drove him home. And they talked earlier about Adam staying with Sauli for a change, so he did.

Late at night they were watching True Blood in Sauli's bedroom.

Adam, however, wasn't too focused on it. Sauli noticed it right away of course but didn't think much of it.

Until a clear frown made his way on Adam's face.

"What is it?"

"Huh?"

"Something's bothering you"

"Nothing's bothering me" Adam insisted, chuckling a little to maybe make his words more reliable.

Sauli cocked his eyebrow.

"Okay, okay. I did something today. And I'm not really sure was it a good thing"

Sauli turned on his side and gazed at Adam in the eyes with that piercing look. Adam's cock had an opinion about that look. Adam told it to freaking shut it now.

"Now you're worrying me"

Adam sighed, running his hands over his face before reaching down beside the bed and started browsing the pocket of his bag.

"I just... It was just something that I felt like doing and I didn't even think it through before I..."

"Adam. Just tell me"

Adam pulled a key out of his bag. Then another one. Sauli didn't quite catch what was going on.

"I... I thought since we're adults and both live alone and spend a lot of time in each other's places we should both have the keys to our houses you know"

"You made me an own key to your house?"

"No. I mean yes. That too. But I also kinda got myself a key to your house"

Sauli raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"By yourself?"

"Yes! I shouldn't have!"

"You totally just robbed my key and made a second one"

"Just punch me already" Adam said, closing his eyes. How can he be so stupid? Doesn't he have any sort of control? It seemed like a good idea first but...

Sauli started laughing, which made him open his eyes.

"That's really freaking creepy. No one does that, Adam." He chuckled.

"I know" Adam pouted, staring at the keys in his hand. God damn, Sauli's heart just clenched so hard it hurt.

"You're lucky I know you quite well" he smiled gently.

"So you're not mad at me?" Adam asked, his eyes full of hope.

Sauli shook his head as no, still laughing. He reached out to take the other key from Adam. He assumed it's his because his car keys hanged in the same metal circle.

"Keep the other one since you made it" He grinned and put his owns on his nightstand. He hopes he remembers to take them tomorrow morning.

He really doesn't have anything against Adam's visiting. At any time.

"So... Can I get yours too?" Sauli asked, his fingers running over Adam's side.

Adam started smiling and turned around again to get the other key from his bag. He had even bought a 'S' keychain so it so they could recognize Sauli's keys.

Adam turned around and gave the keys to Sauli.

"Thank you" Sauli beamed, putting it on the nightstand as well.

He has the silliest boyfriend in the world.

"I love you. A lot. If you didn't know that yet"

"Mm might have guessed" Adam joked and straddled Sauli's hips, "And I love you. But I guess you knew it already since I want to get into your apartment whenever I want"

Sauli chuckled, cupping Adam's face between his palms.

"We should take baby steps"

"I'm not talking about a marriage here" Adam said, "I think we won't talk about that now. Or even in this year"

Sauli was happy about that. Last time they got engaged everything went downhill. There's no need to rush.

"Someday we talk about it"

"Someday" Adam repeated and pecked Sauli on the lips, "And someday I will say 'I do'"

"Me too. With you. To us" Sauli whispered, stroking Adam's cheek with his thumb, "I love you. And I will never make the mistake of letting you go" He said, pulling Adam's head down and captured his lips into a kiss.

Adam hummed. He had to say he loves Sauli too but it turned into non-sense mumbling because Sauli didn't let him pull away.

He also wanted to remind about the True Blood but oh well. This might be funnier anyway.

Sauli wrapped his legs around Adam's waist.

Okay. _Definitely_ funnier.

♥♥♥

"What have you planned for your birthday?" Adam asked the next morning while they were having breakfast.

"Adam, my birthday is in next month" Sauli chuckled, "So nothing much planned"

"Can I plan everything?" Adam asked with hopeful eyes. Sauli didn't really know why it was so important to him but if he wanted to plan everything, why not?

"Sure. If you want to"

"Yay" Adam beamed, stretching his arms after finishing his yogurt. The stretch caused him to flinch, “Ouch, I guess I burnt my shoulders anyway. Will I ever learn?”

“I have some aloe vera lotion in the cabinet if you need it” 

“Thanks” Adam said while trying to see if the sunburn was worse than mild, “I can’t really see”

Sauli gulped down the last bits of his coffee and got up from his chair. He walked behind Adam to see if the burns were bad. He gently touched the skin. 

“It’s red but the skin doesn’t peel. At least not yet. Are they sore?” 

“No, not really. But when I move and the skin stretches it sort of stings. I could take a cool shower” 

Sauli glanced at the clock and bit his lip. 

“If you go to the shower now, I might have time to join you” He murmured and leaned down to hug Adam from behind. Adam smiled and stroked his arms. 

“Oh? You have to be at work in an hour and how many times we have stepped out of the shower in fifteen minutes?” 

True. Sauli admits they often act like animals. They fuck whenever they can. 

Sauli nosed the back of Adam’s neck, making him close his eyes. 

“If there’s no traffic I drive to work in twenty minutes. Soo we’d have about thirty minutes to spend in the shower. After that I’d still have time to help you with the lotion” 

“And then you’d make sure you rub it on me so sensually I’ll have painful blue balls because you have to go to work” 

Sauli nodded. 

“And then I’d only think about you coming back home and then I’ll be very horny and I’d get to fuck you. Works for me, let’s go” Adam said, getting up and pulling Sauli with him. 

Sauli giggled, stumbling to the bathroom after his boyfriend. 

He has a feeling he might be late from work today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm? Was it okay?
> 
> In the next chap boys celebrate Sauli's birthday.


	8. All I ever needed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovey dovey and such.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay again. The last days at school have been hectic.

Adam closed his laptop the second Sauli stepped into the kitchen. He gave an innocent smile when Sauli frowned at him.

"What are you hiding?" Sauli asked, grabbing a bottle of water from the kitchen.

Adam tried not to focus on his bare abdomen and sweaty skin. Sauli just returned from a jog.

"Nothing" Adam smiled, watching as Sauli approached him and pecked a hello kiss on his lips.

"Yeah right" Sauli mumbled, nudging Adam playfully, "You watch pretty boys there"

Adam laughed, pulling Sauli on his lap, not caring that he was sweaty.

"Nah. Enough pretty right here" Adam smiled and pressed a one more kiss on Sauli's lips. He doesn't want to admit that he kind of browsed through some nasty twitter comments.

Even though he was supposed to plan Sauli's birthday. He did that too though. 

Sauli smiled, tangling his hands into Adam's hair. Running always pumps adrenaline and probably testosterone because fuck, just the scent of Adam drives him crazy after jogging.

"I need to take a shower because I stink. Or join me in the pool? If I can use it?"

"I can join you outside but not in the pool" Adam said, "And of course. You have a key to my house so you’re free to do whatever you want to" he smiled and pushed Sauli off his lap.

Sauli pouted at the 'not in the pool' part. But oh well as long as he gets to see Adam without a shirt. 

"I'll go to change into something lighter. I'll be right out too" Adam said.

Sauli nodded, making his way outside while Adam went upstairs to maybe grab a pair of shorts. Why is he wearing jeans at home in the first place? Especially since it’s kind of warm outside. 

He pulled out his gray shorts and put them on. He took off his T-shirt and that was when he accidentally glanced in the mirror.

Hm. He turned sideways and grimaced. He definitely has gained some weight after his tour. He closed his eyes, forcing himself not to think about it too much.

Ugh. He hates these kinds of days. Hates how he feels like everything just crashes, everything is annoying and his reflection is literally disgusting. And he hates how on these kinds of days every little insult feels like a world’s end. 

Adam pulled on a loose tank top and grabbed his favorite sunglasses from the shelf of his wardrobe and went back downstairs and straight outside. He doesn’t need the sun lotion since he’s only planning to stay in the shadow of the patio shelter.

When he stepped outside, Sauli was already in the pool. 

Adam made his way under the shelter right next to the pool and sat on the couch there. 

Sauli swam near the edge of the pool and placed his hands on the edge, resting his chin against them and looked at Adam. 

“Why don’t you join me here? It’d be so much more fun with you” Sauli pouted and gave those big puppy eyes Adam can’t usually resist. 

“I’m totally fine with just watching” Adam smirked and slouched on the couch, eyes transfixed on Sauli. 

Sauli gave him a face and dove back into the water. Adam smiled at him before turning his eyes towards the scenery of the Hollywood. Sometimes he can’t believe he’s actually made it this far. 

In the pool, Sauli was watching Adam. He wasn’t being himself at all. Sauli climbed out of the pool and dried himself to the towel but Adam wasn’t even paying attention. 

Sauli knows Adam isn’t in this world also when he’s really thinking. Adam’s working on his lyrics with a passion so maybe Sauli should use a subtle way to ask if he’s alright. Because Adam hates the way he always assumes something’s wrong. 

Sauli jumped on Adam’s lap;

“Boo!”

Adam squealed quite loudly and almost pushed Sauli off in automatic reaction. But when he saw the laughing person in his lap, he glared at him. 

“Don’t do that when you clearly see I’m thinking!” Adam whined, holding a hand over his furiously thudding heart. 

"You looked very thoughtful, yes. Are you thinking of new lyrics?" Sauli asked and put his hands on Adam's shoulders to steady himself.

"Yeah. And just,,, how I've gotten so far. Considering that... Just ten years ago I was scared and alone at home. Destroying myself"

Sauli nodded, understanding that Adam must be thinking that sometimes. Sauli does that too. Even though he has reached his dreams long before Adam.

"And,,, everything between us was just coincidence. I can't believe I attracted you somehow" Adam chuckled, remembering how freaking awkward and quiet he used to be.

Sauli smiled, gazing lovingly into Adam's eyes. Well, he couldn't really see them due to his sunglasses.

"You silly. You were like,,, the most gorgeous boy I had ever seen. And still are. You had these wedges and you kept fumbling with them, you had eyeliner and high hair. When I saw you for the first time I was like 'wow' and my jaw almost dropped"

Adam giggled, letting his head drop against Sauli's shoulder. He still doesn't know how to take in the compliments.

Sauli smiled, stroking Adam's hair soothingly.

"My crotch feels wet" Adam said suddenly.

Sauli cackled, getting off Adam's lap and looked at the wet stained caused by his wet swim shorts.

"Great now. It looks like I've wet myself"

Sauli stripped off his shorts and settled back on Adam's lap. He gets the giddy feeling when he's naked and Adam's fully clothed.

Sauli pressed his mouth beneath Adam's ear and kissed the area tentatively.

Adam hummed, his hands going on Sauli's hips. For a second he forgot that he's having bad day. Sauli has that effect on him.

But. He isn't in the mood for this right now.

"Don't. We wouldn't have time for this anyway since I have to see some people today"

Sauli pulled away and pouted. Again. Damn that pout.

"Who?"

"It's a secret. But it has something to do with your birthday so" Adam beamed, pushing Sauli off his lap.

Sauli's face lightened up. He doesn't want to admit that he's kind of happy about Adam planning something for him.

Adam planted a kiss on Sauli's forehead and playfully nudged him back in the pool, knowing that Sauli is comfortable with it.

But Adam doesn't need to go just yet. He sat on the edge of the pool and let his feet drop in the water.

Sauli lift his foot and frowned at his toenails. They weren't done like usually.

"Took the polish off yesterday but forgot to put a new one on. Thanks for reminding me" Adam said, wiggling his toes.

Sauli let his foot back down and leaned on Adam's knees.

"How long will you be gone? I could make some lunch for both of us if you'll be home before one o'clock"

Adan pursed his lips, pondering.

"I'll be home before that. And if I hit the traffic, I'll let you know" He said and flashed Sauli a smile.

Sauli nodded approvingly.

"Okay. I'll make something good" He said, planting a kiss on Adam's knee.

♥♥♥ 

Seeing Terrance really helped Adam. They got to plan Sauli's birthday and everything is mostly ready now.

And it's only two days away anyway so it's relaxing to know everything is ready.

Lady Gaga concert with Katri should work just fine.

Adam was eating chocolate chip ice cream on the couch, watching some sappy romantic movie. Sauli was doing some work with his laptop upstairs.

Adam put the ice cream can on the table when he was done. Whoops, he kind of ate it all.

Adam grabbed a blanket and threw it over his shoulders, snuggling the corner of the couch. It's injustice that he has to watch a movie _alone_.

Of course he understands that Sauli has a different job than he does. Adam finished a world tour few months ago so now he's being at home, working some lyrics and stuff but that's it.

Sauli's job is different. It requires him to work almost every day. But it makes Adam oddly a little bit antsy. Especially since Sauli isn't even at home he's in _his place_.

Adam sighed. Now he's being childish.

And it doesn't get any better if he just wallows in his misery so he grabbed a bottle of nail polish from the table he used earlier for his fingernails.

Adam placed his other foot on the pillow and other on the floor.

He opened the small bottle and started to color his toenails. At least he gets his mind off all the things that are bugging him right now. 

When he was done with his first foot, he heard Sauli’s footsteps come closer. 

He gave Sauli a short smile when he stepped inside the living room. Then he continued to blow against his toenails (doesn’t that sound a bit weird?) to make the nail polish dry faster. 

“Are you trying to hide from the world?” Sauli asked, making his way on the other end of the couch. 

“No. Why?” 

“You’ve eaten a whole can of ice cream, you hide under a blanket and your eyebrows are burrowed together the same way you when you’re mad” Sauli stated and watched as Adam huffed like his statement was totally ridiculous. 

“I’m just bored that’s all. My life feels kind of empty now when I’ve settled back home” Adam said, focusing on his toenails but glanced at Sauli briefly. 

When he saw the look he had on his face, he immediately fixed his words:

“I mean I like being at home. And I have you. Of course I appreciate and love all that. It’s just so weird that nobody rushes around me telling me to go there, telling me to do this and telling me to do that. It’s scary… “ He said the last words quietly. 

Sauli frowned a little. 

“Why is it scary? Isn’t it good to relax without people telling you what to do all the time?” 

Adam sighed. Yes, it is but at the same time he feels like people will forget about him. What if his label doesn’t call him at all anymore and what if his fans just forget him when there’s nothing new coming out? 

“Don’t get me wrong. Of course it’s good that people don’t expect something from me all the time. But I’m just scared that I’ll be forgotten in some time… I have way too much time to think now. It’s like being on a rollercoaster” 

Sauli nodded, thinking he got the main point. He grabbed Adam’s leg and bent it at the knee, keeping his foot near his mouth so he could blow against the nails. 

“You won’t be forgotten. You can’t spend your spare time thinking about that. You have to enjoy it while you can ‘cause there will be a time when you’ll be on the road again and everybody fusses around you telling you what to do” Sauli said in a gentle tone and kissed the arch of Adam’s foot. 

Adam smiled, nodding. He knows that. He just worries a bit too much today. His smile faded soon and he stared at the floor. 

“I’m having kind of a bad day” he admitted. 

“You want to talk about it?” Sauli asked softly and pulled both of Adam’s feet on his lap. 

Adam thought about it for a moment. He knows how annoying it is when someone mentions something about having a real bad day etc and then they won’t talk about it. 

“It’s nothing special or it doesn’t have any specific reason. I just woke up feeling like crap and what made it worse was some nasty comments online and what made it worst was the moment I glanced in the mirror and hated what I saw so freaking much” Adam sighed and gave an apologetic look at Sauli, “I’ve tried not to take it out on you” 

“It’s fine” Sauli said immediately, “Don’t we all have bad days? But generally you’re okay?” 

Adam nodded. 

“Yeah. It’s just that when my day starts like that, everything bugs me during the day. I dropped my car keys on the floor of the car and it felt like the worst disaster ever. I heard the dishwasher when I was watching this movie and I was ready to punch something” 

Sauli bit back a small smile. He knows that feeling too, he bets everybody does and Adam’s making a big deal out of it. 

“So that’s why all the worry? You start thinking too much on days like this?” 

Adam nodded. 

“And that was why you said we didn’t have time for a little fun in the morning?” 

Adam nodded again. 

“I was just feeling like I didn’t like my physical form at that moment very much. And when I don’t like myself, nobody else can” 

“You know I can” Sauli whispered, stroking Adam’s other foot, “You didn’t like yourself _at all_ when we made out the first time. You hated yourself on the first time we had sex. And I still loved every bit of you. I still do. Even during your bad days. Besides,” Sauli started, yanking on Adam’s legs so he fell onto his back from his sitting position, and crawled on top of him, “A little fun could actually make you forget all the negativity” 

Well, there is that. Sometimes Adam forgets that Sauli won’t run away if he wants to talk or that he won’t freak out if he’s being a little bitchy. 

They can’t avoid that when they spend so much time together. 

“It just feels like everything comes crashing down. During these kinds of days I feel like I can’t run away from my old demons. They keep telling me people will forget, they tell me all the nasty things some people say are true and so on” 

Sauli gently tapped the space between his brows with a fingertip so the tension there released. 

“Tell those fuckers to shut up. You’re unforgettable, you’re beautiful and sexy, you’re everything all the _positive_ comments say. And don’t forget the most important thing: I _love_ you. And even though you’d hated yourself more than anything, I wouldn’t” Sauli reminded firmly and cupped Adam’s chin, “I would never” he whispered, pecking Adam briefly on the lips. 

Adam eyes were sparkling when he pulled away. 

“You’re grown quite a lot during the years. But still,,, somewhere behind all this ‘famous you’ and even the ‘real you’ there’s this same boy I met years ago. The one who’s so hurt and vulnerable” Sauli softly said and stroked Adam’s cheek, “Don’t try to hide him, Adam. Your past will always be a part of you and you need to accept it as well. Because you know I do” 

“Gosh, I don’t know where I’d be without you” Adam frowned, shaking his head slightly. 

Sauli smiled, stealing another kiss before saying:

“Gladly you don’t need to know. Because I’m right here and I’m not planning to leave” He said, capturing Adam’s lip into a longer kiss. 

Adam just hummed in agreement, gasping a little when Sauli straddled his other thigh and his knee poked him on the crotch in the process. 

Adam pulled Sauli closer by his back and slipped his tongue inside his hot mouth. Oh yeah, this surely makes him forget everything else. 

Sauli palmed Adam’s cock, slowly rubbing on his hardening length. Adam let out a muffled hum, dropping his other leg outside the couch to give some more room for Sauli’s hand. 

Sauli’s touch wouldn’t even have to be sexual to make him feel so much better.

♥♥♥

The next day turned out to be a little wild. They really weren’t meant to get drunk at all and Adam really wasn’t meant to punch a hole in the ceiling.

They came back home around 1 a.m. Adam was sitting on the bed, removing his clothes when Sauli came inside with a small ice bag. 

“Here” He said, handing it to Adam. 

“Thanks” Adam replied, taking the ice bag and pressed it against his sore hand. Hopefully he doesn’t get any bruises. 

Sauli took off his shirt and pants before crawling under the covers of the bed. He felt pretty drowsy already. 

“Why didn’t you try to stop me? How do you think I can give you a handjob now?” 

“Well, you were having fun. And luckily you are blessed with a good mouth” Sauli grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. 

Adam glared at him but was kind of flattered. He knows he gives heavenly blowjobs that make the person come before he even gets properly started. 

Well now he’s being cocky. 

“Yes, but I can’t use my mouth in that way while I fuck you” Adam protested and placed the bag of ice on his nightstand for a second to remove his clothes. 

"What, I don't get to have your ass on my birthday?" Sauli asked, playing shocked.

Adam removed the rest of his clothes, meaning his briefs, and settled under the covers as well.

"Well, if you want to. You decide since it's your day" Adam smiled, pecking Sauli on the lips, "Actually your day has already started since it's 1. So happy birthday"

Sauli hummed in quiet laughter and sneaked his hand under the covers, giving a playful squeeze to Adam’s package. Okay, he's still a little tipsy. 

“Thank you. Can I have this package for a present?”

Adam jerked at the sudden touch, swapping his hand away, chuckling quietly.

Sauli grinned. But when he noticed Adam's face when he pressed the ice bag back against his hand, his smile slowly faded.

"Hey, let me" He said quietly, reaching out to take Adam's injured hand into his and took the ice bag into another one, "Does it hurt?"

"Yeah" Adam hissed when Sauli pressed the ice against the soreness, "But it'll probably be better in the morning"

"Sure? You might need X-ray"

"If there was something broken it'd hurt even when I rest it. I'm sure it's fine tomorrow" Adam reassured and snuggled against Sauli's side, keeping his hand in the tender care of Sauli's hands.

Sauli moved the bag a little, placing it beneath Adam's thumb where he saw a small swell.

"How am I so accident-prone?" Adam wondered out loud, making Sauli chuckle lovingly.

"There are worse ones than you love, I'm sure. I don't like the idea of you getting hurt but I like taking care of you"

"I'll remember that next time I'm having a nasty stomach bug" Adam murmured, "You're bound to take care of me then too"

Sauli kissed Adam's temple and beamed. Okay, once Adam was having really bad stomach flu and Sauli kind of avoided him because he didn't want to get sick too.

But seeing Adam struggle with a rising fever, shivering even under two blankets, he couldn't just watch it. He had to cuddle him to make him warm. But the kisses turned out to be mistakes, he got sick too. 

"Of course" Sauli said, turning Adam's hand around once more and put the bag against his knuckles, “I’m not afraid of bugs” 

Adam huffed. 

“You are afraid all the possible bugs. Flu bugs and the ones that crawl on the floors” 

“You’re afraid of spiders” 

“No I’m not” Adam squealed, pinching Sauli’s side with his good hand, “Not anymore” 

Sauli grinned, kissing the top of Adam’s head. 

“I’ll remember that” 

“I hate you” Adam mumbled, snuggling even closer to the warmth of Sauli’s body. 

“You love me” Sauli whispered. 

“Don’t be so sure” Adam joked and made a face at Sauli. 

Sauli smiled and let go of Adam’s hand. There’s no point to freeze his hand. The cool feeling probably made it a little better already. 

Adam pulled his hand away when Sauli released it.

Sauli got up to take the ice bag to the bathroom and into the sink. He's too lazy to run downstairs and put it back in the fridge right now.

He returned on the bed and got on his side, facing Adam. Adam was lying on his side as well, face towards Sauli. 

Sauli pressed his thumb against Adam’s plump lower lip and stroked it. 

“You have so pretty lips. Think how unfair it is that these freckles has gotten way more kisses than the rest of them" Sauli whispered thoughtfully and traced Adam's lips with the fingertip.

Adam started smiling.

"It would take a year to give the same amount of attention to the other ones" He said, watching how Sauli's eyes drifted from his lips to his chest.

Sauli hummed in agreement.

"Well there are a few lucky ones that have gotten quite a lot of attention as well" He said, briefly touching a freckle that's right next to Adam's right nipple.

Actually this one might be the second in kisses. Because Sauli kisses Adam's nipple even when they're not being sexually intimate.

Like when they're about to go to sleep and Sauli rests his hand near it.

"And you have a few right here" He whispered, going for Adam's groin, the inguinal crease, "Right here where the thigh starts. You know how much I love to suck on his area before going for your thighs. And you're a little bit ticklish here as well" he grinned innocently when Adam's body jerked slightly.

"And there are a few on the shaft of your cock" Sauli whispered huskily and gave a gentle tug to Adam's cock, "But those are pretty much it" Sauli beamed.

Adam chuckled, rolling on top of Sauli's smaller body.

Sauli grinned, burying his fingers into Adam's hair and pulled his head down to kiss him.

Adam let out a pleasant hum and pulled away shortly.

"They're getting kisses again"

"Shut up" Sauli said, playfully rolling his eyes, "And we need to change the position. You can't hurt your hand by resting weight on it" He said and flipped them over, settling between Adam's legs.

Well this is just fine too. As long as they're close.

"Let's have sex" Sauli pleaded.

Adam bit his lip, trying not to smile because no way. They haven't had sex in a few days and _that's a lot_ to them.

Adam wants to wait until tomorrow. He rarely turns down a sex suggest but now it's an exception. Sauli will be even more desperate tomorrow night.

"No"

"Whyyy?" Sauli whined, "I'm feeling a bit horny. Blame those chili things I ate today"

Adam shook his head as no, beaming innocently.

"Just wait. I'll be yours tomorrow"

Sauli pouted, resting his head against the crook of Adam's neck.

"You're already mine"

♥♥♥ 

Giving head to Sauli is so different because Adam gets to play with his foreskin.

And he's almost jealous how sensitive the tip of Sauli's cock seems to be.

Sauli is on the edge of sleep and awareness. The blood is running wildly due to the stimulation somewhere below his waist.

Sauli's eyes snapped open when he felt a tight hug of throat muscles around his shaft. Adam's nose was pressed against the skin above the base of his cock.

Fuck, how does he do that?

He looked down and met Adam's eyes. Fuck, those eyes.

Adam swallowed around him before pulling away to take a breath. He kept pumping the shaft and gave a smirk at Sauli.

"Oh, you're awake?" Adam questioned playfully and got back to work. He deep-throated Sauli smoothly, causing Sauli to grip on his hair.

"Fuck...! How do you...?" Sauli gasped, his back arching at the feeling.

Adam pulled away again.

"Easily" He said wickedly and wrapped his lips around the head, giving a one suck.

Sauli moaned, yanking on Adam's hair and came inside his hot mouth.

Adam swallowed without a problem but when he crawled on top of Sauli's body, he reached to grab a glass of water from the nightstand and took a gulp.

Not that it's bad, but just to rinse his mouth. And Sauli didn't even see, he was slouched on the bed eyes closed.

Adam kissed him.

"Happy birthday, baby. How was your first present?"

Sauli's hands went on Adam's hips and a small smile made its way on his lips.

"Mm,, thank you. First present?" He asked, opening his eyes.  
"Yes. I have at least three left" Adam beamed and sat up on Sauli's pelvis.

And really, Adam's bare ass against Sauli's spent cock... Sauli was sure he might get hard again.

"Well, I enjoyed the first one" Sauli smiled, "And I'm pretty sure I will enjoy the other ones as well"

"I hope so. You need to get up then" Adam said excitedly and got up from the bed, pulling on Sauli's hand.

He was probably more excited than Sauli was about this whole birthday thing. Why to celebrate the fact that you're getting older?

And Adam's half hard. And he isn't even whining for a touch. Wow, there must be something he really wants to show or give to Sauli.

Sauli followed him into the bathroom. The was a bubble bath ready and a breakfast on the stool beside it.

Sauli smiled.

"Thank you"

"This isn't one of the presents" Adam said right away, "But get in there and I'll go get something"

Sauli nodded, getting into the tub while Adam disappeared. He grabbed a grape from the plate and chewed on it while waiting.

Adam came back with an ipod and two pairs of headphones.

"Uhm. This isn't the complete, finished, polished version but... I'd like you to hear this" Adam said, maybe a little nervously and handed Sauli the other pair of headphones.

He got into the bathtub behind Sauli, careful not to splash any water on his ipod.

Adam put the audio splitter plug on and plugged both of their headphones into it so they could both listen to the song at the same time.

"I wrote this for you. And it's called 'Nirvana' " Adam informed before he pressed 'play'.

Sauli listened to the song, mostly flattered and shocked that someone has written a song for him.

He closed his eyes, relaxing against Adam's chest.

Adam couldn't really relax. He was anxious to know what Sauli was thinking about the song.

It was just a demo so it was only about one minute long.

Sauli took off his headphones, waiting until Adam would take off of his own too. When he did, he put the ipod on the floor next to the tub.

"So...?"

Sauli turned around to face Adam. His eyes sparkled with love.

He wrapped his arms around Adam's neck and planted about five kisses on the skin he could reach: Neck, ear etc.

"I love it. It's beautiful. Thank you so much" He murmured.

Adam relaxed, wrapping his arms around Sauli's waist.

"I'm glad you like it" He whispered.

♥♥♥

Sauli was very happy with his birthday. He got a morning blowjob, heard a song written to him, got to see Lady Gaga concert with Adam and a few friends.

He didn't need anything more.

Except his man. And that was fixed when he filled the dishwasher and went upstairs after it, seeing Adam on their bed.

He was naked, lying on his tummy, swaying his feet in the air. Smirk on his face because he knew how undeniable he looked like that. 

Sauli was more than happy to have his wicked way with Adam. Adam had obeyed everything he asked and it was all for love. 

And this was also all love. They just got out from the bathroom cubicle in the club a few nights later.

Adam looked at himself in the mirror, then glared at Sauli.

"You brat. My mouth is all red and my hair is messy"

Sauli cackled, clinging against Adam's back.

"Too bad. I had a great time" He beamed, referring to their quickie just minutes ago.

Adam fixed his hair the best he could and pulled Sauli out of the bathroom with him.

They need to head home. Sauli has work tomorrow afternoon.

"Me too. But I have a stain in my shirt" Adam declared, "Let's hope there is no paparazzi outside"

Once outside the club, they couldn't avoid the paparazzi. Some other nights it might annoy them but now they were both feeling happy and tipsy.

"We're interesting" Sauli said when he had caught Adam.

Adam has such long legs it's hard to keep up with him sometimes. But boy, Sauli loves those legs. 

They make him weak. 

"We are" Adam grinned, taking Sauli's hand into his, "Just don't care about them. And stop pinching my ass"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know when the next update is up, but I'll try not to wait too long. 
> 
> I'm really busy with everything at the moment but writing is still my way of escaping all that so you can expect fics from me even when my final exams are getting close.


	9. I promise I'd save you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well,,, this is a product of my excessive studying of psychology. Not really but it got me inspired to kind of write about Adam's memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ! WARNINGS !: Contains lots of mentions about bulimia and domestic violence.

"Er, you ask me?"

"Yeah! I'll be introducing Robyn and Sauli pleaaase" Adam pleaded, draping himself over Sauli's body, "I want you there. I want you with me"

How is Sauli supposed to resist those blue puppy eyes?

"It's just NNN awards. I'll be alone on the red carpet but I'd like to have you there when I'm on stage. Even if it just an introduction that I'll do" Adam said, more quietly now and took Sauli's into his, "I want you to see what I do. You've seen me on stage as a model but not as the real me. Please"

Sauli smiled slightly, nodding.

"Okay. You got me"

"Yay!" Adam squealed, dropping his head on Sauli's chest and hugged the small body tightly, "Thank you"

Sauli brought his hand up in Adam's hair and rubbed his scalp with his fingertips.

"You're welcome. I'm happy to see the thing that makes you happy"

Adam raised his head, he was literally beaming. But then he shook his head as no.

"Oh I like being on stage. I'm a little bit of an attention whore. But singing is my life" He said, pressing his head back down, "You might need to wait a while until you see me perform. I have nothing on my schedule right now"

Sauli closed his eyes and stroked the thick hair beneath his fingers. Adam almost purred at the affectionate touch.

"It's fine. I'm pretty sure it'll be worth the wait" He whispered, "You could always sing to me though"

"No" Adam insisted, chuckling and squeezing Sauli's side, "It would be without music and ugh. No, It’s nerve wracking"

Sauli grinned. He knew Adam still has a shy side in him. It doesn't just disappear if it's part of temperament.

"Someday?"

Adam bit his lip, nodding.

"Yeah… But on the stage first" He said, looking up at Sauli.

Sauli nodded, approving. He pursed his lips because hell, he wanted a kiss right now.

Adam smiled, pecking Sauli on the lips. Sauli caught his lip between his teeth and didn't let go.

Adam giggled, trying to pull away but he'd only end up hurting his lip if he kept pulling.

Sauli grabbed Adam's thigh and pulled it over himself and only then, when Adam was close enough, he let go of his lip.

"You know you don't have to play so violent with me if you want me to get closer" Adam joked, loving the snug feeling of their position. 

Sauli is smaller in size than him so he’s usually the one resting his head on Adam’s chest, leg thrown over Adam’s hips. 

But sometimes, like now, Adam wanted to feel more secure and allowed to be small in Sauli’s arms. 

Sauli just smiled, his fingers still playing in Adam’s hair. He has always loved his freaking hair. It’s thick and soft. Perfect to dive your fingers into when you’re making out. 

“You’re hard” Sauli declared, his focus on the TV just as intense as Adam’s but he couldn’t help noticing the fact since Adam’s crotch is against his hip. 

“Well da, Eric is hot. And he’s naked so” Adam stated obviously. 

Sauli smirked. 

“Or is it the hair play?” He asked, tenderly yanking on Adam’s hair. Adam moaned, Sauli wasn’t sure was it really sexually but still, “You’ve always loved when I ruffle and pull your hair. It was one of the first things I learnt about you” 

Adam chuckled, pushing his face against Sauli’s chest almost like trying to hide. 

Okay, maybe he kinds of like it. Especially when Sauli’s being a little rough with him. Like yanking on his hair so hard it makes him bend his head and then Sauli attacks his neck… Yes. He likes it. 

When the episode ended, Adam sulked at the ending scene for a second because now he has to wait a week to see how it continues. 

“Bed now?” Sauli asked, his fingertips pressing against Adam’s scalp more firmly.

“I’m gonna take a shower first. But yeah, let’s go upstairs” Adam agreed, pushing himself up from his comfy position. 

Sauli got up too, shutting the TV. Adam already went up while he put the wine glasses into the dishwasher and the wine back in the cabinet. 

Sauli shut all the lights and gestured Fluffie to follow him up. He had to take Fluffie to Adam’s place with him because he can’t stay away from either of them. 

And Adam likes Fluffie so it wasn’t a problem. Sauli rarely even goes to his own home. He has a toothbrush and some clothes in Adam’s place anyway. 

Once upstairs, Sauli heard the water running in the bathroom. Adam is _naked_ behind the door. The door wasn’t locked but since Adam didn’t ask him to join him, Sauli will stay away. 

Sauli used the other bathroom upstairs and washed his face and teeth, then made his way to the bedroom, stripped off his clothes and settled on the bed. 

Luckily Adam doesn’t take long showers when they’re about to go to bed so Sauli didn’t have to wait too long for him. 

Sauli’s eyes fixed on Adam as soon as he stepped out from the bathroom. He only had a towel around his waist, droplets of water running down his chest. 

“Why are you still wearing that towel?” Sauli asked. 

Adam let go of the towel, letting it drop on the floor. He dipped his hips and went like ‘better?’

Oh, he’s delicious, Sauli thought. He feels so freaking lucky every time he goes to sleep with Adam and wakes up next to him. He can’t believe this man is actually his own. 

Adam flashed him a smile as he got on the bed as well. 

“Do you know what would feel really good?” He asked after he had settled behind Sauli and was comfortably spooning him. 

“My hole around your cock?” 

“No!” Adam squealed, “I mean yes, that too. But I was thinking of something more deep” 

Sauli smiled, wanting to remark that Adam’s cock in his ass is usually pretty freaking _deep inside_ but he didn’t. Adam might actually have something important to say. 

He grabbed Adam’s hand and pulled his arm over himself. 

“I like it when you think deep. Tell me” 

Adam bit his lip, trying to think where to start and how to say the thing he wanted without it sounding too corny or being too straightforward. Maybe it’s too soon, but he has really thought about asking Sauli to move in with him. 

“Actually forget it, it’s silly” He finally said, chuckling it off. 

“No” Sauli whined right away, “You can’t start something and then not finish it. Tell me” 

Adam groaned, pressing his forehead against the back of Sauli’s neck. Why didn’t he just keep quiet?

“I can’t” 

“Adaamm!” 

“I’m sorry, baby! I promise to tell you but not now. I’m not ready but still wasn’t able to keep my mouth shut” Adam said, pressing a kiss on Sauli’s shoulder, “Which isn’t really surprising” 

Sauli giggled, closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth of Adam’s body. 

“Okay. Whenever you’re ready, I’m not pressuring you. You know it” He whispered. 

“Thank you” Adam replied quietly, breathing in the scent of Sauli, “Do you have to go to work tomorrow?”

“Yep. I have a few commercial photos to take and it’s a salary day tomorrow” Sauli told him and made a face, not sounding too excited. Sauli hates the salary days because it contains so much people!

“Okay. Are you home by the dinner?” 

Sauli’s eyes snapped open. 

“You mean like,,, my home or back to your place?” 

Oh. Whoops. Adam’s already slipping things.

“My mistake” He smiled, “I meant that are you coming back to my place? I’ll make dinner for two if you will” 

Sauli turned around so he could face Adam. Adam was surprised to see the beam on Sauli’s face. 

“I consider this as my second home. But yes, I’ll be back here by then” Sauli smiled and pressed a sweet and gentle kiss on Adam’s lips. 

Adam smiled. 

“Good”

♥♥♥

Sauli ran his palm from Adam’s neck to the small of his back and up the swell of his ass.

If it’s too hot in the night, Adam kicks off all the covers. And much to Sauli’s luck, he’s now sleeping on his stomach too, leaving all his naked beauty in sight. 

Adam was awake. His face was turned away from Sauli so he was able to smile without Sauli noticing it.

He loves how Sauli likes to touch him. Just touch him without any special reason. It makes him feel a little bit more loved every day.

There are comments online that say no one would ever like to touch his gross body and as an ex-bulimic and anorexic, it stings to read those things a little more than necessary. 

Adam heard Sauli exhale, more like sigh, and his touch disappeared. The bed dipped a little and the fabric of the pillowcase rustled.

So that was Sauli pressing his head back against the pillow. And it means he's staring at Adam. Adam’s pretty sure he’s staring at his ass. 

"Are you perving over me?" Adam asked.

Sauli chuckled.

"No. Just admired the beauty of your body. I love this dip right here" Sauli said softly and traced his fingers over the small of Adam's back.

"That's all you love?"

"Definitely not" Sauli grinned, leaning back close and kissed Adam's shoulder, "I love everything"

Adam giggled quietly before he turned on his side to face his boyfriend.

"But now that you mentioned the perving, I would love to come on your perfect ass sometime" Sauli said wickedly, "Mark you mine"

Adam nudged Sauli, laughing.

"You are so bad!"

"I know" Sauli beamed, "But I can't help it. It's so freaking perfect" he hissed, reaching out to grab a handful of Adam's ass.

Adam smirked, moving to straddle Sauli's hips. He leaned close to Sauli's face and kissed him briefly. You may think it’s sweet to kiss and make out in the morning but sometimes the morning breath kind of gets in the way. 

Not that neither of them cares when they’re hungry for kisses.

"Then maybe you should do that next time you fuck me"

Sauli hummed, chasing after Adam's lips for another kiss.

"Maybe. Good morning by the way"

Adam chuckled.

"Morning" He replied, sitting up on Sauli’s pelvis. 

Sauli looked at him. Gosh he’s gorgeous. Sauli bit his lip. 

Adam wasn’t sure was it that kind of biting he does when he thinks something less pervy or the one he does when he’s thinking something very pervy. 

“Do you have anything special to do today?” Sauli asked. 

“Uhm, no? At least I think so. I have a feeling you might change that though” 

Sauli grinned innocently, stroking Adam’s thighs. 

“I might. I got an idea for a photo shoot last night. It just might have you involved” 

Adam gave Sauli a face. 

“Really? What kind of an idea?” 

“Well,” Sauli started out slowly, taking a hold of Adam’s hips, “Been kind of thinking like a fashion photo. You’d be in the water” 

Adam cocked his eyebrow, clearly telling he wanted to hear some more before he’d say yes or no. 

Sauli chuckled. 

“You know. You’ve seen the male models lying in the water in their jeans? Their eyes piercingly blue or green?”

Adam laughed, like the picture of him doing such thing was totally ridiculous. 

“Alright. I mean your idea is good. But me? I don’t think I’m the right type of guy in them” 

Sauli rolled his eyes, pinching Adam’s side. He has always hated the word ‘type’. Almost every meaning of it. 

“You don’t trust me?” Sauli questioned, “I’ve been in this business quite long” 

“I know” Adam said calmly, “But it doesn’t change the way I think. Let’s be honest here, people tell compliments because they want to be nice and not rude. I mean I could gain 50lbs and you would still say I look good. I had and still have acne scarring and you still say I look pretty” 

Okay, now Sauli kind of wanted to pinch Adam a little harder.

“I’ve done everything I can to make you believe my words. I am not lying. I am not telling things to be nice, you know it. I’m pretty damn straightforward. I’m not trying to push you over your comfort zone but maybe you could just give my idea a shot” Sauli quietly said, keeping his fingers from pinching and instead gave a slight squeeze to Adam’s hips. 

Adam pursed his lips, thinking. 

“I can start with a tank top. And I’ll remove it only if I feel like it” 

Sauli beamed, nodding and accepting. 

“Deal” 

Adam replied with a small smile but it was urged and Sauli saw it immediately. Maybe it’s really creepy and strange but he has kind of learned to know what muscles Adam uses when his smile is genuine. 

It’s a psychological fact that different muscles are in use when you fake a smile. But it’s hard to notice. 

“Hey” Sauli whispered, brushing his hand across Adam’s stomach, “Something tells me you’re not quite alright at the moment” 

Adam gave a brief chuckle. He really can’t hide anything from Sauli, can’t he?

“If you say so”

“Meaning?” 

Adam sighed, shrugging. 

“Give me some time with the photo shoot” 

Sauli gave a gentle smile. 

“All the time you need. But I have to get up and head to work. I don’t what time I’ll be back but before dinner”

Adam nodded, moving off on top of Sauli’s hips. He lay on the bed and grabbed his phone from the nightstand to check his twitter. 

He flashed a brief smile when Sauli pecked his temple before leaving.

♥♥♥

_Reaching the age of 15 was terrifying. Adam hated how his body betrayed him. Earlier he thought that his interest in girls would increase but it’s still not happening. Why isn’t his body and mind responding to the most beautiful girl of their class?_

_Maybe she just weren’t the type. She had a long brunette hair and she was quite tall so maybe Adam likes petite and blonde girls? No. Then why does he think that another girl of their class, who is tall, looks very attractive? But not attractive enough to make Adam whistle after her_

_And why does he think that **a boy** , Brad, was the most perfect human being the world can carry? Why does he think about what it would feel like to kiss him? Why isn’t he attracted to plump, bright red female lips? _

_Adam stood in front of his full body mirror, tears stinging his eyes._

_”What the hell is wrong with me?”_ he whispered, backing away from the mirror and slumped on his stool that was in front of the computer table. 

_He glanced at the screen, the hatred towards himself and his body increasing the second he saw the pages he had been browsing. His body is very willing to respond to photos of naked men but not chicks._

_He heard a knock on his door._

_“Adam? It’s 11.30 p.m., you should go to sleep” His mother yelled, “It’s a school day tomorrow”_

_Adam took a shuddering deep breath to maybe steady his voice._

_“Yeah. I’ll go in a second” He replied, closing the browser and shut down the computer. He made his way on the bed, leaving his clothes on because right now he didn’t want to see himself or the shameful reaction his body had given to the videos he watched._

 

_The next he was at home around 3.30 p.m. He had seen Danielle in a café after school. First he thought he might want to talk to her about his thoughts and fears but he couldn’t._

_He couldn’t bear losing his only friend._

_Right after he stepped in, he became face to face with his father. He looked,,, upset? Maybe something has happened. Maybe something happened to Leila or Neil. Adam became scared_

_”Has something happened? Or did I forget to do something?” Adam asked, dropping his school bag on the floor._

_”No. Nothing bad has happened or you haven’t forgotten anything” Eber said in a calm voice and to be honest, it sort of crept Adam out. He hasn’t heard that tone in his father’s voice before._

_Adam shot him a questioning look and Eber replied with same kind of look; questioning, confused_.

_”I needed to use your computer today because your mother needed the other one. Just for your safety, I cleared the page history”_

_Adam gulped, his heart pumping adrenaline through his veins._

_”I found some pages I did kind of expect to see. It’s totally understandable and alright to be curious about the opposite sex but don’t objectify women like the guys do in porn”_

_Adam blushed, looking around himself awkwardly. Oh, he did check straight porn to see if his cock wanted to rise. It rose, yes, but only when he was focused on the guys._

_Eber wasn’t finished._

_”And I understand that you might have accidentally clicked on wrong pages” Eber said, laughing a little like he was hoping that Adam would confirm the ‘accident’, “Right?”_

_Adam fidgeted, his pulse so fast he thought he might faint._

_”Son… Tell me it was an accident”_

_”I…”_

_”Or did you click on gay porn sites on purpose? Adam? Answer me” Eber said, his voice still calm and patient but he was craving for an answer, “Please tell me you’re not gay”_

_Adam felt like throwing up. His body couldn’t deal with the stress reaction and he was afraid he might start hyperventilating right on this second._

_”I-I’m… I’m not sure”_

_Eber sighed, nodding. For a moment Adam thought that he understands him, he’s accepting his answer._

_”Not the answer I wanted to hear” He said, shaking his head in disbelief, “Tell me what your mother and I have done wrong. Did we raise you like this?”_

_”It has nothing to do with you and mom” Adam said quietly._

_”Then what?!” Eben asked, raising his voice enough to make Adam jerk on his place, “Then what did happen?!”_

_”I don’t know… “ Adam whispered, feeling the tears well up in his eyes, “I didn’t decide this… Dad, I’m scared I don’t know what’s wrong“_ he sobbed. 

_Eber kept shaking his head._

_”I’m disappointed. With myself. And you. Especially with you” He hissed, “And look at yourself. You’re 15, Adam. You’re a young man, not a boy anymore. Real men don’t cry, Adam. But after all, how many real men like cock?” Eber asked bitterly._

_Adam blinked, the tears that earlier stung his eyes, fell._

_”But I…” Adam started with a trembling voice, only to feel a powerful slap on his left cheek. Adam raised his hand to soothe the pain on his skin and looked up at his father with vulnerable eyes, “Dad…?” He whispered, shocked that his father actually hit him._

_He has never been violent. Not at once._

_”I am not your dad. Not anymore” Eber whispered, his jaw tight as a guitar string, “Do me a favor and disappear. Don’t make me hit you again”_

_”Adam? Hey, wake up, you’re scaring me”_

 

Adam’s eyes blinked open. With those blinks he felt his cheeks get wetter but at the same time his rapid heartbeat calmed down. 

“Whatever you saw, it was a dream” 

Adam glanced around the room, seeing his own home. He wasn’t in his youth home. He saw someone sit on the couch next to his hips, a soothing hand touching his arm. 

“Come here” Came the familiar voice and Adam was pulled up. He felt a pair of arms around him and he could smell familiar cologne, “It was just a nightmare” 

Adam exhaled, clutching Sauli’s shirt. He pulled away shortly after his brains comprehended that he was indeed safe. 

“I’m a mess” He chuckled. 

Sauli smiled gently, using his thumbs to wipe the fresh tears from Adam’s cheeks. 

"I promised to make dinner!" Adam gasped when Sauli was done with wiping his tears, "And you must be hungry!"

Sauli chuckled, kissing the tip of Adam's nose.

"No big deal. I actually ordered something in when I saw you were asleep. Should be here in 30 minutes" Sauli said, glancing at the clock.

"Okay” Adam approved but pouted again, “Sorry. I really wanted to cook something. Not that I would have been good but”

"Some other time" Sauli reassured, pushing Adam on his back on the couch, "Besides I kind of like having my dessert first"

Adam giggled.

"Oh? You know that if you do that, you might skip the real meal then and only care about the dessert?"

Sauli hummed, agreeing. He kissed Adam's neck and chin before pecking him on the lips.

"I know"

"Too much sweetness is bad for stomach" 

"True. So luckily my dessert contains lots of protein among the fructose" Sauli whispered, his hand moving up Adam's thigh and rather close to his groin, "And it is really tasty" he hissed, sliding between Adam's legs.

Adam bit back a smile. 

"So get to it" He said playfully seriously and pulled Sauli's face against his crotch.

Sauli's chuckles were muffled against him. Adam could feel the vibrations of his laughter against his cock. Sauli controlled himself and looked up at Adam.

"That's not very nice" He frowned, working Adam's belt and zipper open.

Adam has dated other guys during his and Sauli’s time apart but none of them was as eager to blow him as Sauli is. Some of those guys complained how their jaw becomes too sore and how they can’t deep-throat him. 

Sauli has always loved to blow him. And Adam really doesn’t have anything against that. 

Sauli pulled the edges of his zipper apart and kissed him through his underwear.

Sauli searched the head and sucked through the cotton, making Adam's breath hitch. Sauli knows what he does so he gingerly scraped his teeth over the lump.

Adam jerked automatically, muttering a suprised 'woah' but didn't push Sauli away. He has used his teeth before and has never hurt Adam.

Sauli could feel the warmth and small twitches of Adam's cock as it slowly hardened.

But he didn't get much further before the doorbell rang.

"You said 20 minutes!" Adam squealed, "It's been like two minutes!"

"Oh but I called there about 15 minutes ago" Sauli said, rushing to the door.

Adam groaned, zipping up. Sauli did it on purpose, he so did. He knows that now Adam will chase him the whole night until they have sex.

Adam promised to make dinner but he fell asleep so he at least pays it now. He grabbed his wallet and rushed after Sauli.

"I pay" He insisted once at the door and before Sauli could say a thing to protest, he already handed the food guy some cash.

He closed the door since Sauli was holding the sushi boxes. 

They made their way to the dining room and ate mostly in silence because the tension of the earlier blowjob attempt hasn't disappeared.

Sauli's foot was on the opposite chair where Adam sat. His toes were poking Adam's crotch and at one point Adam had to give him a warning glare.

"Do you want me to choke on my food?"

"No" Sauli said right away, "But you're not eating anymore" he winked, pressing his foot more firmly against Adam's package.

Adam rolled his eyes, getting up. Sauli cackled because he _knew_ Adam is not really annoyed at all. Completely opposite of that.

When Adam was passing Sauli's chair, Sauli piched his ass.

"You little shit" Adam hissed, pulling Sauli up from his chair rather roughly and pushed him against the nearest wall, "Why do you enjoy teasing me?"

Sauli shrugged innocently.

"I like to see you get all hot and bothered. It's hot"

"You little shit" Adam whispered, pushing his lips against Sauli's to rip that smug smirk off his face, "If people knew what's under your innocent grin they'd be horrified. All the teasing and dominance"

Sauli cocked his eyebrow.

"Nah. I bet they can imagine" He said, "But if they knew how much you enjoy to take it up in the ass they'd be surprised" he beamed, reaching to grab a handful of Adam's ass.

Adam laughed.

"Well, they're our secrets then"

Sauli smiled, nodding. Adam kissed him again, tapping Sauli on the thigh. Sauli got the hint, wrapping his arms around Adam's shoulders and jumped, wrapping his legs around Adam's waist.

Adam carried him on the couch and straddled his smaller body.

"They say exercising is not good right after meal" Sauli reminded.

"Who said I would be doing anything?" Adam asked, flipping them around so Sauli was on top, "You are doing something"

"Oh?" Sauli smirked, "I do long for some sweet dessert"

"Please stop calling it dessert, it's so cliche" Adam hissed, eagerly unzipping his pants.

"Well I long for your sweet sperm"

"Sauli, ew, no" Adam groaned, laughing a little and hiding his face behind his palms, "What if you just don't say anything?"

Sauli cackled while pulling Adam's jeans lower, around the mid-thigh. He groped Adam's cock out and wrapped his lips around the head.

"And now, don't you freaking dare to stop"

♥♥♥

_Eating is one of the most effective ways to forget why you are hating your life. And food is, well, good. Especially ice cream and sweets._

_But when you've eaten too much, you hate your life a little bit more than before you started eating. Getting hit by Eber and bullied at school feel small now. The thing Adam hates most is himself. Why is he attracted to boys and not girls?_

_Why does he have to be different? His life would be so much better if he would just be like others._

_And ugh, Adam hates his strawberry blonde hair, soft stomach and his bad, scarred skin._

_Adam whimpered and clutched his stomach as it cramped. Also, he hates the fact how much ice cream and sweets he just wolfed down. It seemed like a good idea until now. Now he’s just even more gross._

_His phone peeped. He reached to grab it from the end of the bed_.

_Where r u? Been waiting for 15 minutes :(_

_Fuck! He totally forgot about the date with Danielle! She said she had something exciting to tell him so he can't skip that._

_Adam replied with a text 'be there at 4' and pushed himself up from his bed. His stomach protested and Adam grimaced, wanting to punch himself._

_"Why can't you do anything right" He mumbled to himself. His mother has told him that ginger ale or tea helps the stomach ache but Adam's pretty sure he can't get anything else inside anymore._

_And considering the pain came from eating too much, it might just not help._

_So the only way to feel better is to get rid of it, Adam thought. But isn't that kind of a girl thing? He knows a few chicks from the school which always purge after the lunch. He has just never heard guys doing it._

_Well right now it doesn't matter, the result is the same anyway. He gets rid of the amount of food he ate and will probably feel a bit better_

_Adam made his way to the bathroom and crouched before the toilet seat. He opened the lid, let out a shuddering breath and flexed his fingers. Is he really falling this deep? This desperate? Just a few weeks ago he felt quite happy. Now everything goes downhill, everything is literally ruined._

_After ten minutes he was flushing his mouth, swearing himself that this will never happen again. Now it was an emergency and it had to be done._

_Adam wiped his eyes from the tears the act had caused and fixed his makeup. His stomach feels only slightly better but unlike he thought, he feels even more horrible than 15 minutes ago._

 

Adam rubbed his face. The clock was 2.47 a.m. and he hasn't slept properly for a blink. He keeps snapping out sleep because he keeps seeing dreams. 

Leaving the sleeping pills out turned out to be more difficult than he thought. But his doctor said that Sauli might be enough to keep his mind off the edge. Adam got rid of his anti-depressants a few weeks after his tour ended and now he was allowed to leave the sleep pills too.

Adam glanced at Sauli. He was sleeping on his side, small smile on his lips. God, Adam loves the way Sauli smiles in his sleep.

Maybe he could just take some Ambien. It would help him to fall asleep.

Tomorrow is the day for the NewNowNext Awards and he really should get some sleep. Though he won't perform, he will introduce Robyn. And he wants, almost needs to see that adoring, loving, proud look on Sauli's face while he’s on stage.

The one he gave him when he first walked on the runway.

He can't wait until Sauli will see him perform live. See him doing the thing that has kept him strong through the hard times.

"Are you alright?" Sauli asked quietly, his eyes suddenly open.

"Yeah. I just can't sleep" Adam told him with a small smile.

"Nightmares again?" Sauli questioned, raising from the bed a little, “You’re starting to worry me”

"Not really. But dreams that make me wake up all the time" Adam admitted a little sheepishly, "My doctor allowed me to leave out my sleep pills. He actually ordered me to and said it might cause bad dreams and waking up at night but I should still try. But I feel like I can't fall asleep without them"

Sauli sat up, flicking on the bedside lamp. Gladly it was a little dimmer than regular light or Adam would have gone blind. 

"Do you wanna talk?"

Adam sighed, picking on his nail polish.

"Actually yes. My therapist recommended that I could tell you the same things that I have told him years ago. He had a feeling it might help me to sort of… Let go completely. And there are quite a lot of things that you don't know about my past"

Sauli nodded. He knows there is. Adam never really wanted to talk about for example his moderate depression, his eating disorders etc. He felt too ashamed to mention them.

"But let's do that in the morning. You seem a bit tired now" Adam smiled gently and tapped Sauli's thigh.

Sauli just nodded again. Yeah, he was. He couldn’t focus on Adam’s talking properly so maybe tomorrow is a good idea.

"Tomorrow” Sauli agreed, “Now we sleep" Sauli said, reaching to flick off the lamp he just turned on.

He snuggled close to Adam's side and wrapped his arm around his middle. Adam smiled, immediately feeling a little more secure to fall asleep again.

♥♥♥

The next day was pretty busy. Adam had to make some calls, find his outfit for the nioght and so on while Sauli had a few photo shoots to do at the agency.

One hour before they need to leave to the Awards show, they finally had some time together.

"Are you sure you are ready to hear all this?" Adam asked when they had settled on the couch. They sat sideways, facing each other. Adam was a little nervous. In therapy, he really didn’t have to look at the person he was talking to.

"As long as you are ready to talk about it" Sauli smiled, taking Adam's hand into his.

"I am. I think you deserve to know why I was the way I was back then. And what lead to it all"

Sauli smiled gently, nodding.

"Basically you know about the relationship between me and my father. I don't have to explain all that again. But I haven't told you about... How it affected me from the inside. My mind, my body image, everything... And how I almost killed myself with eating disorders"

Sauli squeezed Adam's hand. He hated to hear the words "killed myself". Adam grimaced at the memories he was thinking and the thought of tearing his shelter open in front of Sauli was scary. Even though he knew that there was no reason to feel that way. 

“Put your head on my lap” Sauli suggested softly and sat properly on the couch; feet hanging, “You don’t have to look at me. I know it’s hard”

Adam smiled, lying down. He lay on his side, head pressed against Sauli’s thigh and he was facing the living room. 

"The downhill… It started right after my dad decided that he doesn't accept me as his son because I'm gay. I hated myself for having crushes on boys and mostly, I hated the fact that no one could have a crush on me because I was fat, pale and I had a bad skin. I started the emotional eating and the first purge was a must because I needed to see Danielle. But I did it again just a few days after. And again the next day from that. And again in just a few hours from that. Every time I had eaten"

Sauli traced his thumb over Adam's hairline as he talked. He could see that Adam was barely on his comfort zone but it was still easier for him to talk than it was years ago.

"I stopped eating because the self-disgust was unbearable. I stopped completely"

_Adam almost stumbled when somebody bumped onto him in the hallway at school. He felt so weak he could barely stand on his feet._

_"Hey! Watch where you walk, faggot!"_

_Danielle glanced up at her friend. She could see the eye roll he gave at the remark but also the dark circles under his eyes and a bruise on his temple._

_"Dani?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"I think I'm gonna faint" Adam said weakly, taking a hold of the nearest wall._

_Danielle felt a little helpless then. She was much smaller in height than Adam is. But considering Adam's physical form at the moment, she would have been able to almost carry him._

_"Let's go out, hey. Get some fresh air" She said, wrapping her arm around Adam's back. She shot a warning glare towards the guy who had remarked at Adam._

_Once outside the school, Danielle sat Adam on the bench on the edge of the grass. Adam's figure seemed so fragile. Danielle has no idea what on Earth happened during the week she was on a vacation. Adam was fine before she left_

_"I'm gay, Danielle. I like boys" Adam whispered, almost bitter about it._

_"Established as much. It's okay. You're still my best friend" Danielle reassured, "But what happened to you? You look like you haven't eaten anything in days"_

_"Not really hungry" Adam whispered, “But what? You knew I am gay?”_

_Danielle frowned sadly, touching Adam's knee._

_"You wear eyeliner, Adam. You look at Brad under your brows every time he passes by. You became tense when the teacher talked about sexual orientations… Yeah. I guessed" She said, “But as I said, it’s okay”_

_"But dad hates me, everybody at school look at me like I’m a bug to kill... I colored my hair, Dani. I lost weight and I’m still just as gross as before” Adam said quietly, “It’s not changing. I just thought I'd lose a little weight. I thought it would make me feel better,,, just a little. I could have at least have control over something..."_

_Danielle grabbed Adam’s hand and gave it a light squeeze._

_”This is not normal. You’re barely half the size you used to be. You do realize that I need to tell our school physician or therapist if you keep this up?”_

_”No” Adam said immediately, more power in his voice, “They would tell my mom”_

_”You really don’t realize you look sickeningly skinny? Your mother must have noticed that”_

_”She doesn’t notice anything” Adam almost yelled, tears stinging his eyes. He bit back what he was about to say, “She doesn’t even notice the bruises I got from tripping”_

_”Is there anything I can do?” Danielle asked, feeling so helpless right now, “Just tell me because I will do anything just to make you feel even a little bit better”_

_Adam stared towards the parking lot without saying a word for a few seconds. But he did finally talk;_

_”Does your mom still bake those cookies?”_

_Danielle started crying. But she soon understood that she was not the one who should break down right now, so she just nodded frantically._

_”Yeah. She does” She said, getting up from the bench and pulled Adam up too, “Come on, let’s go”_

 

“Can you imagine? I wanted cookies” Adam said, letting out an amused chuckle, “I looked like a skeleton. I hadn’t eaten in days and I wanted cookies only Danielle’s mom could bake”

Sauli stroked Adam’s earlobe because he didn’t want to touch his hair since it was already done. 

“I don’t… That’s like,,, heartbreakingly adorable” Sauli whispered, “You didn’t tell Danielle about the physical violence?” 

Adam hummed as no. 

“I felt like she didn’t deserve to bear that burden. She was so sweet to me and I didn’t want her to worry more than she already did. Let’s say that my first ‘anorexia season’ ended to that day. But instead the bulimia got worse. And so did my mild depression that soon turned to moderate…” 

 

_Adam flushed the toilet after he was done with the purging. His knuckles were red and almost bleeding and his throat has never been this sore._

_Adam glanced at the mirror and saw the cuts on his stomach. He used to wonder how much self-hatred it must take to let you destroy yourself but now everything makes more sense._

_He put on his shirt and crouched back on the floor before the toilet._

_”Ow…” He quietly whimpered and clutched his belly. There was pain and it was real. It was coming from the inside and not on the outside. Maybe he was still too full._

_Adam crawled to sit against the wall. He panted, trying to breathe away the pain he was feeling._

_”Shit…!” He hissed, pressing both of his forearms against his stomach. Where is the pain coming from and why? It hasn’t happened before._

 

“I don’t remember what happened then. I know that I passed out and Danielle found me. It was the first time I was rushed to the hospital. And the second time was when I already knew you. The first hospital trip wasn’t enough to ring the alarm for me. I didn’t stop the binging or the purging. But it got better and I stopped hurting myself” 

Adam sat up and turned to sit towards Sauli. Sauli was looking at him with a sad expression. 

“It got better” Adam repeated, “For a while. But when I applied for the job in Sunny Stars,,, you told me I wasn’t exactly a model type” 

Sauli hung his head. The guilt punched him right in the guts. 

“I’m so sorry” He said quietly, “What I meant by that was that you were too shy and seemed so,,, fragile. Not because there was something wrong in your body”

Adam wasn’t mad. He didn’t even sound bitter or anything. He grabbed Sauli’s hand and pressed it on his chest, right above his heart. 

“Feel that? When we met, you made it leap. It felt like CPR to me. To myself, I admit I was already,,, gone. I didn’t feel alive. But suddenly I wanted to feel the way my heart jumped every time I saw you. It kept me wanting for more, wanting to live just to feel that. It felt so lovely” Adam whispered, laughing at his own silly thoughts, “It’s beating because of you”

Sauli blinked a tear or two, still looking down. He just felt Adam’s heartbeat against his palm. 

“I like to think that our hearts make one. That’s why we met again. Because the other half can’t live without the other” Adam said, a little less seriously now but still not joking but genuine, “I’m not perfect and I’m sorry for that. I say wrong things, I do wrong things… Just like a human does” 

Sauli raised his head and locked his eyes with Adam’s. 

“In your arms I am allowed to feel small without the fear of doing something wrong. I am allowed to be weak. To you, I’m just a human” Adam said quietly, “And I need that. I need someone who keeps the balance in all this craziness. I am not mentally ill anymore but I’m in a middle of other crazy things. Even without the fame or money… I feel like you’d still be there”

Sauli hugged Adam so violently they both fell on the couch to laying position. It made them both chuckle just a little. 

“I’d love you even if we both screwed up our careers and we could barely pay our bills” Sauli said, cupping Adam’s face into his palms, “Thank you for talking to me about this” 

Adam nodded. 

“I got so lucky” He sighed, adoringly staring into Sauli’s eyes. 

“No, _I_ got lucky” Sauli insisted, making Adam giggled and his gaze turned sheepish, “Shall we go now? I want to see you stand on the stage”


	10. One step at a time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. It took _ages_.   
>  I am working on two big fanfic projects in addition to Strike it lucky but that wasn't exactly the reason why the update took so long.   
> I struggled. I struggled _so hard_ with this chapter, I don't know why. Every time I started writing, _nothing_ came out and I almost felt physical pain because of it. 
> 
> I am not happy with his chapter. I've said that 1000 times but now I really, _really_ mean it. So I hope you like it even a little bit.

Sauli has spent less time in his own home than at Adam's place and it felt super weird to be at home. But when Adam asked him out again, they ended up going to Adam's place after the dinner and he hasn't been home since that.

One important question was in their minds but neither of them dared to ask each other in the fear of going too fast. Adam wants Sauli to move in with him and Sauli wants to move in with him but either of them has started the topic. 

It was Monday again and Sauli has started another week in Adam’s place. 

Sauli was tracing his fingers on Adam's slightly haired chest, thinking. They just had amazing sex right after they woke up but his mind doesn't feel empty like it usually does.

"What are you thinking? You've been so absent that you didn't even notice my new hair" Adam pouted, "I got myself a wolf hair yesterday and you didn't notice it then and not even now"

Sauli glanced up and Adam indeed had a new hair. It was a little shorter and still black but it was kind of dip-dyed with lighter brown. 

And gosh, it looked good on him. Sauli hadn't noticed it and he's a little upset about that himself too because usually he notices everything new in Adam. 

"Sorry, baby" Sauli pouted back, "I've been in my thoughts"

"I noticed" Adam said, rolling his eyes, "That's why I asked what you’re thinking"

Sauli sighed, pressing his head back on Adam's chest. He put his hand on Adam's stomach and stroked his skin with his thumb.

Adam hummed in quiet laughter, pushing his hand a little lower. Not to hint anything but he was just ticklish from the area Sauli was playing with. 

"I've been thinking how much I spend time with you"

Adam's body seized.

"Oh. You want to take some distance?"

Sauli frowned.

"No. God, no. I've had enough distance from you and I never want some again unless I really have to" He said, his thumb now playing in the hair Adam has under his belly button.

Good. Adam almost freaked.

"And I want to spend-"

"You should move in with me" Adam blurted out.

There he said it. He has been keeping that inside for weeks and he had to get it out. And in the haze of orgasm he didn't feel so nervous to say it out loud. 

The movement of Sauli's thumb stopped and Adam was sure he asked the question too soon. They had just gotten their relationship to a steady ground so maybe it was too much too soon. 

"I'm sorry. I know we shouldn't rush anything. I just thought since you're here all the time anyway, I-"

Sauli pressed his first two fingers on Adam's lips and chuckled, his grin wide.

"Just once would you shut your mouth?" Sauli snickered and Adam knew he wasn't really mad or too shocked about his suggestion, "I would _love_ to move in with you"

Adam would ask something like 'you would?' or 'really?' but his lips were still sealed so he just arched his eyebrows.

Sauli nodded, scooting on top of Adam and let his finger drop from his lips.

"Yes, I would really love to. I want to go to sleep with you and wake up beside you. And spend the day with you" Sauli said and petted Adam's hair, "I want to kiss you when I want, fuck you when I want, have you inside me when I want..."

"And how does that differ from present?" Adam teased. Sauli spends so much time in his place he has practically lived in there already so all the things Sauli mentioned were already happening. 

"Adam!" Sauli squealed, pinching Adam's side but it just made him laugh, "I am trying to be all romantic here!"

"I know" Adam smiled, "I'm just teasing you. I don’t if the part ‘fuck you when I want’ sounded very romantic"

Sauli let out a playful growl and nipped on Adam's neck. Adam giggled.

"Anyway. It's not the same like it would be if we lived together" Sauli said and pressed their foreheads together, "I could call this place my home. _Our_ home"

"I like the sound of that" Adam whispered.

"Me too" Sauli agreed, whispering as well. His hand had searched its way on Adam's cheek now and he was stroking the skin with a thumb, “Living together is not new to us. I know seeing your face 24/ can annoy the shit out of me sometimes and my face does the same to you. But living together is still the best thing I could imagine now”

Adam chuckled. Yes, they lived together for a few years when they were young and sometimes they just got annoyed because of the smallest things. But that just belongs in the whole ‘living together’ thing. 

No matter who you are living with, they can be a pain in the ass sometimes. 

"So you say 'yes'?" Adam asked.

"No, Adam. Of course I say 'no'. After all I have said and told you right now" Sauli said, his turn to tease Adam just a bit.

Adam wrapped his arms around Sauli's waist and flipped them around, pinning Sauli down against the mattress. Adam hissed at him before gazing lovingly into his eyes.

Sauli just grinned, his hands touching Adam's back until he couldn't resist touching Adam's butt. He squeezed it, making Adam sigh blissfully.

"Have I told you today how much I love you?" Adam murmured, nosing the side of Sauli's face.

"Cliché much, babe?"

"Well, I really hate you right now" Adam said in a very soft tone which proved very clearly that he was being sarcastic. He knows they share the same sense of humor.

"You love me" Sauli beamed, stroking Adam's ass.

"Don’t be so sure"

"Love you too, babe” Sauli said, running his hands from Adam's bottom up to his shoulders and to his hair, "And your new hair. It suits you"

"Thank you" Adam beamed, looking just a bit happier after that compliment, if it was even possible to look any happier, that is.

Sauli gently tugged on the hair and ran his fingers through the thick locks. Geez, he really loves Adam's hair as much as Adam enjoys the way he likes to pull on it.

"But don't you have a meeting soon?" Sauli reminded. 

"Yes" Adam said, rolling on his back on the bed and sprawled out lazily, "But not yet"

After he had flexed his toes and stretched his limbs, he rolled on his stomach next to Sauli who was still lying lazily on his back like he never wanted to move again.

"I don't want you to be late because of me" Sauli said and sat up, giving a gentle slap to Adam's ass, "Besides it's already 1.30 p.m."

"What" Adam squeaked, scooting up in a lightning speed. Have they really spent almost two hours in bed after they woke up?

Sauli just cackled while watching Adam pull on a pair of briefs then search for his pants, shirt and blazer in pure panic.

"Don't laugh!" Adam groaned when he was getting into his tight leather pants, wiggling and jumping. He’s going to give a good impression about himself by showing up late in the first meeting. 

When he got those on, he put on his T-shirt and blazer. And quickly pulled on his boots. He had no time to put on any makeup or do his hair so his bed hair must do now. Sex hair, to be exact. 

Even better impression. God damn it. 

"I'll be back in an hour. If there is no traffic" Adam said and bent over to give Sauli a kiss. He almost got pulled in bed again by his arms. 

"Make yourself at home" Adam smiled, straightening up "For real"

♥♥♥ 

"Oh my God, look at you!" Adam squealed, holding up a framed picture of Sauli where he was around 5 years old.

They were at Sauli's home, packing his personal stuff and everything that Sauli wanted to take with him.

He can sell most of the furniture with the house so no problem with those.

Emptying his house from his stuff took five days. Sauli bets he would have been faster without Adam because he was so curious about all the things he saw and kept slowing Sauli down by asking bunch of questions. 

And Sauli also had a job which took five to eight hours a day, depending whether the agency was busy getting ready for fashion shows etc. 

Now they were in his bedroom, sitting on the floor as they emptied Sauli's drawer. They were already finishing the process. Only the lowest drawer to go.

"You look the same" Adam said, his voice still high pitched, "But aww, you have dimples!"

Sauli took the photo out of Adam's hands and put it into the box they were filling. Why does he even have that photo? It should be with his mother.

"Babe, as much as I love that you're here with me, you are kind of slowing me down" Sauli said with all his kindness and tapped Adam's thigh.

"Sorry" Adam pouted and pulled out another item from the drawer. He was surprised that he was holding a dildo once he pulled his hand out. 

"Wow, Sauli. I didn’t know you were into toys"

"I haven't used that in years!" Sauli assured, his face turning pink. Maybe it was a bad idea to take Adam with him today since he knew they'd be packing stuff from his bedroom.

Not that he's that embarrassed about Adam's finding but it's just still very personal. No matter are you dating the person or not. 

"Oh, but you have used it?" Adam asked, smirking and eyeing the toy. At least it wasn’t one of those freaky ones that resemble a real dick almost too much. 

"You remember when I had a really long work trip in Asia and I couldn't take you with me?"

"Uh-huh"

"I had that with me. It's almost the same size as you are and baby, I _really_ missed you then. I needed to feel the stretch and soreness you always give to me" Sauli said.

He wanted Adam to come with him but they couldn't arrange it that way. He was in China, photographing a few Asian models for his agency and discussing about possible collaboration. 

Three weeks without Adam. He thought he might go crazy because the longing was terrible. 

"That's oddly flattering" Adam snickered, "Oh look, it's vibrating" he gasped, pressing the 'on' button he saw. 

Adam spread his own legs and pressed the toy against his groin, humming in somewhat fake pleasure. He loves teasing Sauli and he doesn't even try to hide it. Sauli is literally _weak_ for his package when he’s wearing tight pants. 

"You are impossible" Sauli groaned, snapping the toy out of Adam's hands and turned it off, putting it inside the box as well. He loves the universe out of this man, no lying about that, but sometimes, like now, he might get things done faster without him. 

Adam chuckled.

"What more you might have here?" He wondered out loud and reached into the drawer again.

He pulled out another framed photo. It was of him and Sauli, taken at ice rink in Finland when they were younger. Sauli loves camera so no wonder he has so many photos in his home. He loves taking photos in memorable moments. 

Sauli saw what Adam was looking at and he pressed his head against Adam's shoulder, sighing.

"It's been so long"

“Yeah” Adam agreed, his voice quiet as he stared at the photo. They had rosy cheeks and bright smiles though Adam remembers his smile was forced because he was terrified of falling on his ass on the ice again. 

“My ass was all bruised afterwards” Adam said, “I still haven’t forgiven you that because I was barely able to sit”

Sauli chuckled. He remembers how they sat with his sisters and mother in the living room and his mother had asked Adam if he was alright because he kept fidgeting when trying to find a good position to sit. 

And his sisters made faces because they thought there was another, less appropriate, reason for his sore ass. 

Adam smiled, putting the photo in the box while Sauli pulled another frame out of the drawer. The photo was of Adam and Fluffie, taken years ago by his pool. 

“Oh you chose to frame _that_ one? Out of all the other shots?” Adam asked, “Look at my face!” He squealed. 

Sauli had managed to take a photo exactly on that moment when Fluffie licked his cheek and Adam made a funny face in displeasure. His eyes were squeezed shot, nose scrunched and lips pursed. 

“You look adorable!” Sauli insisted, putting that photo in the box as well before Adam could sabotage it, “Was it the last one?”

Adam peeked into the drawer and saw that it was empty, “Yup” 

Sauli taped the top of the box so nothing would fall out once they get them inside the trunk of Adam’s car. They got up from the floor and Sauli let out a sad sigh while looking around the room. 

“Feels so weird to leave this place. It’s been my home for so long” He sighed, “I’ve experienced so much while living in here” 

Adam hummed. 

“This is where I kissed and touched you for the first time” Sauli said, stroking the small of Adam’s back, “It keeps so many memories inside” 

“I know” Adam whispered, staring at Sauli’s bed. He still had the bed they bought together when Adam was living with him, “Don’t you think our old bed deserves some goodbye sex?” 

Sauli smirked. He didn’t even had a time to answer before Adam started pushing him towards the king sized bed in the middle of the room. The back of his knees hit the edge and Adam lowered them on the mattress. 

“This bed has endured our wildest sex rounds” Adam said as he straddled Sauli’s hips. 

“Poor bed” Sauli snickered, “It’s a miracle it’s still intact” 

“But your wall isn’t” Adam reminded, pointing at the small area on the wall where the paint has rubbed off, right behind the headboard of the bed. 

“Well, that is entirely your fault” Sauli reminded, “Your thrusting was so violent that time. Geez Adam, whatever you took then feel free take it again sometime” 

Adam basically thrust so hard the bed kept hitting the wall and rubbed the paint off. Sauli was sure he got the definition for the words ‘animalistic sex’ then. Both of them were exhausted afterwards, sweaty yet satisfied.

“I didn’t take anything” Adam assured, nosing Sauli’s neck, “I was just so freaking horny and full of adrenaline after the party. And crazy about you” 

Sauli sneaked his hand between their bodies and rubbed the bulge between Adam’s legs, “Mm. The memory seems to turn you on” 

“Fuck yes” Adam hissed, “Want to do it again?” He asked, taking Sauli’s hands and pinned them against the bed above his head. 

The only reply Sauli was able to give was a hum and a moan since Adam ground his crotch against him. With that movement the bed creaked quietly.

“Oh _now_ it decided that it has had enough of our sex” 

“My cock disagrees” Adam murmured, looking down between their bodies, “So does yours” 

Adam straightened up so he was sitting on Sauli’s pelvis. He unzipped his own pants and pulled out his half-hard cock. He wrapped his fingers around the shaft and slowly stroked it. 

Sauli was openly staring, licking his lips subconsciously. Adam smirked, moving higher up so he was on his knees right in front of Sauli’s face. 

He rubbed the tip of his cock against Sauli’s slightly parted lips. Sauli was already panting in arousal, his tongue peeking out to get even a small taste. 

“You remember what you did that time? When I fucked you like an animal?” 

Sauli just swallowed. He remembers very, _very_ well but it felt like he couldn’t even talk right now. 

“You let me fuck your mouth” Adam said softly, “Can I…?” 

Sauli nodded frantically, his hands tugging Adam’s pants lower so he wouldn’t have to suffer from the open fly tearing his skin, “Please” 

“Open then” Adam commanded.

♥♥♥

Sauli wonders where Adam gets his stamina during sex. He was all sweaty and panted harshly but his speed didn’t slow down. Fuck, Sauli remembered the definition of ‘animalistic sex’ perfectly right.

After their sex round, Adam was sitting on the counter top when Sauli was photographing the house. He got the permission to take the photos for the sell ad by himself because he’s a professional. 

“Baby?” Sauli called out all of a sudden while taking a photo of the kitchen’s cabinets. Adam almost dared to say that he knew that tone. 

“Hm?” 

“Could you strike me a few poses? I would love to do a photo shoot”

Adam cocked his eyebrow. 

“Right now? Here?” He asked, a little confused about the choice of setting. 

“No” Sauli chuckled, “At the agency”

“What kind?” 

Sauli was whistling innocently while browsing through the photos he had just took of the house. He decided they were good enough and he didn’t need any more of them. 

Adam didn’t like the non-existent response Sauli gave him. He looked very mischievous and Adam didn’t know how to feel about that. 

“Sauli? _What kind?_ ” He pressured. 

Sauli sighed, glancing behind his shoulders and beamed at Adam which was enough to tell that it was something bad. Well, not bad in that way but _that_ way. 

“Uhm. I kind of want to broaden my agency and not a long time ago I signed a contract with a very talented couple who own a company that makes underwear for both men and women”

Adam’s jaw dropped open. 

“Sauli. No” He said very firmly, holding up a finger because he knew Sauli would start seducing him and giving him the best puppy eyes ever while begging. The finger kind of told Sauli not even try. 

“Adam. Yes” Sauli grinned and he almost bounced in pure excitement, “Please. They have briefs, boxers… Colorful, silly ones, everything!” 

Sauli was way too cute when he was excited. He had the same kind of bloom and joy on his face what children have when they get something new and Adam would hate himself if he had to be the person who takes that face off of him. 

Adam sighed, groaning. 

“Why me?” 

Sauli didn’t say anything, he just arched his eyebrows and gave Adam one of those looks. 

“Okay, maybe I get _why_ me but still. Me? In an underwear commercial photos?” Adam asked, almost laughing because it sounded a little bit ridiculous to his own ears. 

But considering the look on Sauli’s face, he didn’t agree with him. 

“Please” Sauli pleaded, dragging on the vowels. He put his camera on the counter and stood between Adam’s knees, “Please? You got a great package, gorgeous thighs, beautiful body… Please?” 

Adam kept his face stern and crossed his arms though he knew he was defeated.

“I would probably jump off a cliff if you asked me to” He said.

Sauli wrapped his arms around Adam’s middle and kept making sounds of joy; satisfied hums and quiet giggles. 

“Fortunately I would never ask you that” He said and kissed Adam’s jaw, “So was that a ‘yes’?” 

“Yes” 

“Yay” Sauli squeaked, locking Adam’s lips into a kiss. He got on the counter top as well and pulled Adam tightly against his own body. 

Adam hummed, his arms going around Sauli’s waist. 

“Sauli, we just had exhausting sex” He reminded when Sauli started nipping and sucking on his neck, right next to his ear. 

Adam’s eyes rolled back in pleasure. 

“I don’t care” Sauli murmured, pushing Adam down on his back, “Shouldn’t we enjoy this drive while we can? We know it’s going to end at some point. We become _boring_ ” 

“You are absolutely right, my love” Adam hissed, pulling Sauli’s head close and captured his lips into a passionate, wet kiss. 

They’re still young. And their relationship is still fresh and they’re almost addicted to each other. Of course they should enjoy that as long as they can. 

“But promise me something” Adam said when he pulled away, already panting. 

“Anything” 

“Don’t ever get bored with me” 

“Like that would ever happen” Sauli whispered, “You silly”

Adam smiled, satisfied. Sauli was just staring at him in the eyes and Adam is sure he has never seen anyone look at him like that. 

“You can continue kissing me now” Adam said, waving his hand as if to tell Sauli to keep and hurry up. 

“Oh, sorry. Got a little lost in your eyes” Sauli said and he had just gotten his lips back on Adam’s when Adam started giggling. You know that sound that comes from your throat before you start laughing? 

“Sap” Adam teased. 

“Shut up” Sauli hissed, locking their lips again and hooked Adam’s leg behind his thighs.

♥♥♥ 

“Stop worrying, I know the photos will be gorgeous” Sauli said while applying the last shreds of makeup on Adam’s face. He went with a very natural look but brought up Adam’s facial features with bronzer and highlighter.

“We’ll see about that” Adam mumbled and stood up when Sauli gave a tap to his hip.

“Trust me, I know” Sauli beamed and lowered himself down on his knees on the floor, “Have I ever given you a reason to doubt?” 

“Well, no, but- What the fuck are you doing?” He asked when Sauli pulled the elastics of his briefs just a little lower to expose the lower abdomen muscles. 

There were no others in the studio like usually. Sauli told all the others to leave when he started working on Adam. 

“I am highlighting and contouring” Sauli said, “Da. What have I been doing for the past 20 minutes?” 

Adam rolled his eyes.

“Well, yeah. But I didn’t know you would do it down there as well” 

Sauli chuckled, using a smaller makeup brush to contour the lines that go from Adam’s hips to his groin. He tried not to tickle Adam but the touches of the brush made Adam’s muscles jump almost automatically. 

“So that is why all the guys look so muscular and good in photos?” Adam wondered out loud while watching Sauli work his magic. 

“Of course” Sauli said, his face more focused now, “Makeup and photoshop are the very well-known secrets. People think the models are ‘perfect’ even though they know that they have tons of makeup on and the editors use photoshop. So funny” 

Adam watched how Sauli used a bigger brush to highlight his abs. Adam knows he’s fit but not like the other models he has seen during the day and it makes him a bit self-conscious. 

“Talking of makeup, there’s a one makeup student working with Sutan. He said the boy is really adorable and nice but he destroyed Sutan’s favorite model’s eyelashes” Sauli said, his face still very focused as he brought up the muscles Adam had. 

“How is that possible?” Adam chuckled. 

“This girl I mentioned, she has really fragile lashes. So the boy thought he could bring up her lashes a bit more if he curled her lashes _after_ the mascara. All her lashes got stuck in the curler and bam, now she has no lashes” 

“Oh my god, poor girl” Adam sympathized.

Sauli hummed, agreeing. 

“Of course the agency paid her new lash extensions. So if this boy ever comes across when you’re at the agency and he asks if he can practice his skills a little, don’t let him” Sauli said, looking up at Adam and made a face, “He would pluck your eyebrows and you’d get these super thin lines instead” 

Adam chuckled, nodding. Okay, he won’t let anyone else except Sauli and Sutan touch his face. He likes his eyebrows thick and strong. 

“You’re going to photoshop me hard abs?” Adam asked then. 

Sauli shook his head as no. 

“Your body is perfect the way it is. I don’t use photoshop very often because I want my photos to be realistic and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s self-esteem by editing everything perfect” 

Adam smiled. Sauli has always thought about others and his decision to not always use so fit and toned models makes him stand out from the other agencies. 

And the shortest girl who has signed a contract with him is 4’11”. She is mostly a model for Sutan’s makeup projects but it’s still a big step. Hopefully she isn’t the girl Sauli was talking about.

“Do you want this tattoo to be covered?” Sauli asked then, tickling the skin area where the first tattoo Adam ever got was. He got that one in Finland and Sauli understood that it’s something very personal to him. 

“Can you cover it? If it’s too much effort, it’s fine. But if there’s some way to cover it, I’d like that” 

“No big effort at all” Sauli smiled and stood up, picking up a very thick concealer from his makeup box, “This shit covers everything from post-zit marks to tattoos”

Sauli crouched back down and pulled Adam’s briefs even lower to expose the whole tattoo and started covering it up. 

Adam chuckled a bit. Sauli was breathing against his crotch and his tender touches near his hipbone and groin didn’t really help him to stay soft. He thanked the God that it was just Sauli and not someone else. 

He jerked slightly when Sauli blew cool air against the spot where he applied the concealer. 

“You do that on purpose” 

“No, I don’t” Sauli grinned, “I’m a professional, if you didn’t know it yet” 

Adam rolled his eyes, “I’ve seen how professional you are many times”

“Sush, you” Sauli hissed, “I just can’t contain myself when it comes to you” 

Adam bit back a smile. He’s not going to lie, of course he enjoys how much he seems to attract Sauli physically. It’s always nice to know someone thinks you’re sexy. 

Sauli added some wax with a small brush on Adam’s treasure trail as well to make it more visible. Not black or anything but darker brown. 

"Okay, I'm done here" Sauli said, pecking Adam on his belly button and stood up, "Get in front of the background"

Adam did as he was told and stood in front of the grey photo shoot background. The bright studio lights were almost blinding him. 

Sauli put all his brushes and makeup into the big makeup box on the table and grabbed his camera that laid next to it. 

He moved to the spot where he photographs. 

He raised the camera on his eye level and checked if the settings looked good or do he need to change them. Through the camera he saw Adam had a hand in his pants.

"I think that's a little too much" Sauli chuckled, almost dropping his camera.

Adam looked beyond hot in the creatively designed briefs and his ruffled sex hair.

"I am just adjusting" Adam said, trying to get his balls settle inside the tightest pair of briefs he has ever worn, "And stop looking at me like that!" He squealed when Sauli kept staring at his hand.

Sauli grinned, tearing his eyes off

"I'll seriously get hard if you look at me like a candy to eat"

"I'm sure I have never felt a desire to eat a candy as much as I desire eating you" Sauli pointed out and raised his camera on his eye level again, "Now go"

“Is that supposed to help me?” Adam asked, almost whining because he does _not_ want to support an erection in an underwear photo. Not when it’ll probably be framed and put on the wall of the agency. 

Adam pulled his hand out and turned his body a little, but kept his head straight and stared into the camera. Very basic pose and Sauli took three shots of that.

Adam turned his body straight towards the camera and brought his other hand up to his hair.

"I love the fact that your photos probably don't need any photoshop in your package area" Sauli said while snapping shots of Adam's poses.

"You're giving my ego too much fun times" Adam said and used his other hand to pull the elastic of his briefs a bit lower.

"Jesus, keep that one" Sauli murmured, “But move your hand a liiitle bit to the right so the brand name on the waistband is visible” 

Adam did like Sauli asked and moved his hand a bit. He tried his best not to think anything sexy or attractive right now since the posing in itself kind of makes him a little excited. 

Mostly because he knows he looks sexy in Sauli’s eyes. He loves teasing Sauli in bedroom by just touching himself and being sexy while Sauli’s hands are tied and he’s incapable to touch him. 

“Perfect” Sauli said and lowered his camera, “Now turn your back towards me and look to the left”

Adam nodded, obeying. 

"Now raise your arms and grab the opposite elbows with your hands" Sauli guided.

Adam obeyed again. He raised his arms and looked to the left.

"Good" Sauli murmured, raising his camera up again and snapped a few photos of the pose, "I really love your butt dimples"

Adam rolled his eyes, biting back a smile since he needed to stay serious.

"Give me something sexy for personal use"

"I knew you'd ask that" Adam smirked. He just hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his briefs and lowered them enough to expose an inch or two of his crack.

Sauli made a satisfied hum and Adam heard him snap a few photos. He pulled his briefs back up when he heard the sounds of camera stop.

Sauli had a master idea. He squeaked and put his camera down, grabbed Adam's hand and pulled him through the room to the bathroom.

"Uhm...?"

"Wait a sec" Sauli said while filling a bucket with water.

"You are not going to do that" Adam warned, "If you want me wet, I can just get under the shower"

"What's the difference?" Sauli asked, standing on the small stool he had in the bathroom and gushed the water on Adam.

Adam gasped, "But why so cold?!" He squeaked.

Sauli covered his mouth in shock. He didn't mean it to be cold, really! He should have known his pipes better and that it takes ages to get warm water. 

Sauli couldn't help the cackling.

"You scared my dick!" Adam whined, glancing down at his lap.

"I'm sure he'll come back" Sauli assured, rubbing Adam's package, "Just needs a little warm up"

Adam glared at him. He's sure Sauli did that on purpose. It would be nothing new.

"And your nipples get very perky in cold water" Sauli grinned, pinching the pink pecs he loves very much.

Sauli grabbed Adam's hand and pulled him back into the studio and placed him on the spot where he stood earlier, against the background. 

Sauli wiped his wet hands to his pants and grabbed his camera, whistling a little when he looked at Adam through the lenses. 

His hair was wet and water droplets were dribbling on his face. His chest looked perfect with the way the water clung onto the fair hair Adam had on his chest. 

And his hard nipples… Perfect. And all Adam had to do was stand there to be sexy. He didn’t need any specific poses, the water plaid a big part. 

Sauli is going to kick ass with these photos. 

“You look stunning, you know” Sauli said quietly as his camera kept flashing. Adam kept his face straight even though the compliment made him want to smile. 

Adam grabbed his package, making Sauli smirk behind the camera. He knows Sauli won’t use the ones where he fondles himself but it’s always fun to think Sauli might get off to these photos sometimes. 

“Okaaay, I think it’s a wrap” Sauli declared, “Quickly go to dry yourself and dress up or you get sick” 

“Okay, mom” Adam mocked, making his way to his dressing room. 

Sauli stared at his ass. Fuck, he’s the luckiest man on Earth.

♥♥♥

Sauli was staring at the laptop wide-eyed. Hell, he’s been famous for a long time but never really gotten paparazzi after him. Only a few times.

“I told you it might get really annoying” Adam said while smearing some balm on his fresh tattoo on the inner side of his forearm. It was a key, inspired by an awesome painting he has in his house. 

“It’s fine” Sauli said in a rush, “I’m just surprised they are so interested. We left the High Voltage and they’re there. We walk back to your car and they’re there too” 

Sauli shut his laptop and made his way on the couch where Adam was sitting. 

“I’m sorry” Adam whispered, almost automatically, and put the can of balm on the table. 

“Don’t apologize” Sauli frowned, “It doesn’t bother me. It’s quite funny, actually”

“I’m glad you understand. I know it would be nice to go out without the paparazzi shouting and snapping pictures right behind us” Adam said, and raised his hands a little when Sauli pushed his feet on his lap. 

“Well, yeah” He said, shrugging a bit, “But it seems to annoy you more than me. I just don’t care” 

“It annoys me because they follow us because of me” Adam said, picking on the fabric of Sauli’s jeans. 

Sauli sighed, giving Adam a look. They’ve talked about this. Many, many times and Sauli has said it doesn’t bother him as long as they keep out of their backyard. 

“It’s a little hot when you get mad at them. You usually be very nice to them and we’re back in the car you curse them and your voice is low and annoyed” Sauli said in a thoughtful voice. 

Adam chuckled, pinching the thin skin on Sauli’s foot. 

“You’re incredible” He said then. 

“I know” Sauli beamed, crawling on Adam’s lap and straddled his thighs, “Who cares about the paparazzi? As long as they don’t sneak under our bed” 

Adam smiled, holding onto Sauli’s hips. He’s lucky Sauli is so calm about the whole subject. He’s comfortable with Adam’s fame. 

Sauli took Adam’s hand and eyed his tattoo, “It looks nice. It’s very you” 

“Thank you. I like it” 

“Well, da. You better like it since it’s going to be on your skin forever” Sauli teased and let go of Adam’s hand. Instead he put his hands on Adam’s shoulders. 

“Why do you always tease me?” Adam asked, smiling. 

Sauli chuckled, leaning down to give Adam a sweet, brief kiss, “Because I love you. But hey, don’t you think we should decorate your house a little? I mean I ‘d like to get some of my touch here as well. More than just the photos I’ve put on the walls” 

“Yeah, sure. I would like to decorate _our_ house together” 

Sauli’s jaw dropped slightly open, “I’m sorry. Did I say ‘your house’?” 

“You did” 

“I’m so sorry, Adam” Sauli rushed out, “I swear I didn’t mean anything, it just-“

“Hey” Adam chuckled, pressing his finger on Sauli’s lips and shut him up, “Don’t freak out. I know. It’s new” He said, dropping his hand from the level of Sauli’s mouth and put it back on his hip. 

Sauli sighed, “I just don’t want you to think that I somehow don’t feel welcomed. I mean,,, It’s not your fault or anything. I just seem to forget all the time” 

Adam gave him a small smile. 

“Well, I did accidentally say ‘my house’ or ‘my place’ when you moved here a few weeks ago so I wouldn’t wonder if you-“ 

“No. If I am not used to this yet, it doesn’t mean that you should be either” Sauli reassured, stroking Adam’s hair, “It’ll take time. And look at Fluffie. He has been in your house for weeks because I was always here before I even officially moved here. And he’s still stressed about it” 

Adam glanced over Sauli’s shoulders at the dog which looked like he was very angry at his own tail. He chuckled. 

“He did that when he was a puppy” Sauli said, moving from Adam’s lap and sat on the couch instead, “And by the way, I have always let him cuddle me on my couch and my bed”

“I know” Adam smiled and whistled at the dog. Fluffie’s head perked up to Adam’s direction and he strutted to him, hopping on his lap when Adam patted his own thigh. 

Sauli smiled. 

“And I cuddled him on my couch and on my bed when you were at work” Adam said in a funny tone because he was looking at Fluffie. He always has this funny voice when he talks to Fluffie. 

“He has always liked you” Sauli said then, pressing himself against Adam’s side and scratched Fluffie’s tummy when he happily lay on his back in the support of Adam’s arm. 

“I’m happy he has” Adam babbled, still having that funny voice. His face went more serious then and he glanced at Sauli, “Oh. Would you like to come to the American Idol Final show with me?”

♥♥♥

Sauli’s answer was a happy yes.

He felt very excited about going to AI Finale. Maybe he'd get to see Jennifer Lopez and see if she's as beautiful as people talk.

And mostly, he was going there with Adam. Sauli didn't have any big plans, he knew Adam would go on the red carpet and he'd use the backdoor. He was completely fine with it since he didn’t like the idea of hundreds of flashing cameras right in front of him. 

They sat in the back of the limo and Sauli was staring at Adam’s face while Adam looked out of the window. 

Sauli had Adam’s hand on his thigh. Adam kept touching the bare skin visible from the rips of his jeans almost subconsciously while Sauli just stroked his hand and knuckles. It was just happening almost automatically. 

When Adam turned his head, he saw Sauli looking at him. 

He chuckled, “What?” 

“Oh, nothing” Sauli beamed, “You look beautiful”

Adam flushed a little pink from the cheeks. 

“Thanks. You’re not bad yourself. I’m not ashamed to take you on the red carpet with me” He said when the limo stopped. 

“Come again?” Sauli chuckled nervously, his heart stopping at the same time as the limo. He must have heard wrong. They agreed that Sauli would get inside from the other door. 

Adam looked a little sheepish. Almost self-conscious. 

Someone opened the door of the car so Adam got out, Sauli after him. Adam was still looking at Sauli once outside, a questioning expression on his face. 

“Uhm…” Was all Sauli managed to say. He is used to be the center of attention since he has done many fashion shows but this… He’s not so sure about it. 

Lane was rushing them both right next to them. 

“Dudes, we’re almost already late” 

Adam didn’t say anything, just reached out his hand, “If you want, you can use the other door. I’m not going to make you to do anything you don’t want. But you could also come with me” 

Sauli glanced at Lane, maybe to check if she had something against that but she just seemed to be waiting. 

Sauli sighed, smiling a little and took Adam’s hand. Adam smiled, literally beamed, when they finally started following Lane. He’s going to show the world what he has! The hottest boyfriend in the whole Universe! 

Sauli squeezed Adam’s hand when he saw the amount of cameras behind the rail next to the carpet. He tried to remember that Adam has done a lot of things for him too. 

Now it’s his turn to pay something back for Adam. 

“Hush. Relax, love. You’ll be fine” Adam reassured softly, “Just smile”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize again. It was truly not meant to be this bad. The next chapter pays it off, I hope.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope I did okay. Tell me your opinions :)  
> Hope you guys are ready for this sequel this soon. I hope I won't let you down. I'm only a human though


End file.
